friends dd going ballistic at school

[ladywallopofcod]

she is just 4 and in warwicks is supposed to go all day.
wont get dressed howls and howls at school
school have asked pal to collect her and give her a few weeks off
friends dh thinks friend is giving in
I told friend to give them all a break nd keep her ofo to xmas
advice?

well the school must be "giving in" too! Is friend's DD not used to being away from her mum? Could they build it up gradually from half-days, perhaps just going in for the odd afternoon at first?

TBH if school are saying to keep her off the girl must be VERY upset.

I think she is unhappy
friend is a loving mum but dd is quite strong willed

oh and has been to nirsery and all sorts
is very confident and chatty

I don't see how keeping her off is going to help? Surely it's got to be easier (relatively) now when all the other children are in the same boat i.e. new?

Ithinkt hats what her dh thinks
but i htink ifi t has got to the point where she has to pin her doen yo put uniform on her then something has got to give

Do they have any idea why she's upset? Or any theories?

hates school
as hey said she is too immature to be able to articulate
her brother loves it

Poor little girl . I'm surprised the school have thrown the towel in so quickly though - she can't be the first child they've ever had to react like this?

HMm
i wonder

I just would have thought that maybe your friend could have gone and sat with her for a bit, or the little girl could have gone down to half days for a week, or have the classroom assistant give her lots of fuss, or SOMETHING, rather than make her go through this AGAIN in a few weeks time when all the other children will be settled and will stare at her for crying?

I think the school and the Mum need to come to a better arrangement that this, the little girl will feel very alienated, trying to start school a term behind her peers.

If its as bad as it sounds, If I were the class teacher I'd be looking at her coming for half an hour for a bit, then lengthen to an hour and so on. However bad her screaming etc is I'd bite the bullet and get on with it. I have experienced this with some children I've taught in Y1 particularly and it takes time and patience and understanding, but children get there in the end, especially when they have established a settled "friendship group" within the class.

It sounds really weird that they don't have strategies in place to deal with this. Eg, I had been telling ds that he is not allowed to take soft animals to school, and then noticed another boy had his monkey, but when I asked the teacher what the rule was, she explained that an exception had been made for that boy as he was having trouble settling in and crying for his mummy. My ds has also been telling me which children have been missing their mummies a lot, and his teacher said that those children could do half days for a few weeks, so it does seem to be a normal feature of starting school for some children.