Self Employed mums - need your advice?

[foxcote90]

Hi lovelies,

I'm new here so apologies if I'm doing this all wrong but I don't know who else to ask so hope the community here can help...

My husband and I are currently trying for a baby but as I am self employed I am currently having anxiety over what I'll be able to do once we have a baby.

All of my mum-friends who have young children have either gone back part time or not at all (not that there's anything wrong with this) and I'm struggling to get a true picture of what it'll be like to work for yourself immediately before and after giving birth.

Husband has looked at shared parental leave (his work has quite a good policy) so that will help for the short term, but is it realistic for me to expect myself to be able to work/run a business towards the end of pregnancy and with a newborn?

I'm in an industry where my clients need constant contact so it's not like I can drop them for a few months and pick them back up again.

I'd love to know realistically - from other self employed mums or business owners - what I will be able to manage, and if you've got any tips to make it all easier I'd be really grateful!

TIA

B x

Towards the end of pregnancy, yes, you'll be fine unless your work involves manual labour. It's no different really than any other time as long as you have plans in place for when you go into labour (that clients understand any issues may be dropped with little notice as you are giving birth and you can't plan ahead for that).

I have been self employed with one baby and then not strictly self employed with the second (but I'm an academic, so I needed to still churn through some publishing and grant application tasks while on maternity leave, so I was 'working' usually an hour or two a day, but very informally). I think it depends on the nature of your work and also the kind of baby you have and your health postnatally.

I would absolutely plan to take at least 8 weeks off. Give yourself time to recover and rest and be back on your feet. After my first was born, I was struggling to brush my teeth and shower daily until she was 4 weeks old. There is no way I could have managed even an hour of work! I was severely anaemic as well and for the first week after she was born, I couldn't even get to the loo without nearly passing out. Your body needs to recover and you need time to emotionally adjust to your new normal. Not giving yourself time for that I think puts you at risk of postnatal mental health issues, so I would build that in.

My first baby was not an easy baby and I couldn't have worked and didn't. I took a full year off from self employment (I finished all projects before mat leave and had nothing held over from the previous year, client projects were not long term ongoing ones). My 2nd one was considerably easier though. From 8 weeks, I was able to do 1-2, sometimes 3 hours a day, several days a week, but not every day. For my wellbeing, I needed to get out of the house and I needed to rest and relax and I couldn't use all naptimes for work. I was able to finish up some projects that were very low in terms of demanding time and focus. But things get much more challenging from 6 months, and I wasn't able to do anything more after about 6-7 months unless I had childcare (either my dh taking time off to be at home or paid childcare).

I would also be realistic just about how tired you may be. Even with childcare, if you are only getting 3 hours of sleep per night, will you be able to function cognitively to do your work tasks to a high enough standard, especially under pressure with deadlines, etc? I found this challenging enough when I formally went back to work when both of mine were 12 months, but by then you have adjusted some and babies tend to sleep a little bit better. When you are chronically sleep deprived in the early months, it's much harder. I would plan in how you will get that sleep if you need it. Can your dh go to work later so you can get 2 extra hours from say 6-8am on days you need to work? Etc.

Thanks @mindutopia. I probably should have given a bit more information!

My work is digital so in that respect can all be done remotely, and I have a bit of a team working with me that I'm hoping I can outsource some of the work too. Up until now I've tried to do as much as possible myself to save fees but it sounds like I might have to take a hit on pay and let them take more on.

We're definitely considering childcare or maybe a nanny when my husband goes back to work so I can hopefully fit in 4 hours a day of work. My local gym also appears to do a morning creche for members so thinking I might join, do a bit of work from their cafe and save myself a bit on childcare!

Really appreciate your honesty though - I think my idea of doing a half day Mon-Fri sounds pretty unrealistic having heard your experience, so might have to find a way to pass more off to my team instead.

B x