Daddy.... daddy ....daddy ....daddy

[Tigana]

Only daddy will do for ds.
HAs been like this for months now.
He (fake) cries when he sees us hug.
He went through stage while we were on holiday of hitting me, repeatedly, despite me and DH telling him off etc.
He wakes in the night and will only be soothed by lying next to daddy in bed.

He is nearly 2.
I feel somewhat heartbroken. Rejected, unloved and like I am exhausting myself day after day trying to look after him and be a good mum when all he really wants is daddy.

sorry...I am knackered today and clearly a bit wobbly!

He's doing this because he's 100% utterly secure with you and knows you will always be there. He wants his daddy because his daddy isn't around as much as you are. It's nothing to worry about. Besides they are always more clingly when they've been on holiday and had you to themselves.

tigana - i know, it's galling, isn't it? my dd, 2, is going a very similar stage, but, yep, you've guessed it - it's a perfcetly normal developmental stage for that age-group.
he's well and truly bonded with you - don't like to presume but especially if you're the main carer - and now it's daddy's turn.

2-year-olds focus on one person at a time (that's all they've got the ability for) and that's why it seems he's "rejecting" you to make a fuss of his daddy.
as for hitting out at you - although he's got to learn that's not acceptable - again it shows he's very confident and sure of you so that's why he hits you..the familiarity breeds contempt syndrome.

anyhow, that's what i keep telling myself whe n dd has clocked me one in the supermarket and the blue rinse brigade is tutting away

But I am not around more than DH.
I work FT.
DH looks after him in the morning, nursery afternoon and then me and DH in evenings and at weekends.
DH works some evenings.

Well, for some reason he is much more confident of his relationship with you than his dad. My ds2 (20 months) is a bit daddy-ish but I know that's because he's sick of the sight of me!

Really truly?

What parenting book should I have read to be able to interpret ds telling me to go away as a sign that we have a good relationship?!

Dd is a real daddies girl. She's now 2 and it's been like this to varying degrees since she was about 1 or less. Sometimes it's severe and I get really upset - we're only human! Although I only work 2 days/wk, actually dh spends a lot of time with dd - not that much less than me really. It does get worse if we're on holiday and he's around all the time. It was embarassing to stay with his family and have it look as though she didn't care if I was there or not. At it's worst, she will really howl for him and refuse to go to me.

It has got a bit better - I think since he stopped travelling so often and also I've tried to 'lighten up'. Dh's time with dd tends to be all fun and frolics - whereas I need to do some other things and it's much longer spells - like all day. At this age they love rough and tumble play that I'm really not so good at. I think she has more fun with dh - and I am just kind of always there and a bit boring! Another friend of mine has a ds the same age who is the same with his daddy (and she works 3 days/wk).

Anyway - I totally sympathise. I have cried over it - but it has got a lot better and hopefully it really is just a phase for yours and mine. Jill

Adding having read on - my dh also has dd in the morning - but you don't seem to ever have ds on your own regularly. Maybe you should have something fun that you and ds do just the two of you - like a game or going to the park. This is how my dh got allocated mornings, bath time, and library on a Sat - and boy has it worked for him! JIll

just wanted to add to OP that I found it comes and goes anyway.
next week or next month it will be 'go away daddy' all the time. my ds is 3.5 and my dh feels hurt that he always wants me.
anyway, when ds wakes up in the night, this is your reason to give DH a firm prod to go deal with it!

ds went through this for a few months after christmas.

Now he has swopped over and it's 'mummy, mummy mummy'.

Tis just a phase - nothing to do with how good a parent you are. Some one to one activities with him might help a bit.

Ds is 2.8.

Enjoy the peace and have a well-deserved rest while daddy does his thing.
It's perfectly true that young children are meanest to the people they love the most and feel most secure with because a) they KNOW you're not going to go no matter what they say and b) they want to prove this to themselves by being as vile as possible and c) they're taking some control over the environment - it doesn't mean he loves DH better but that he can now make you do what he wants by behaving a certain way.
Please don't be sad and try and be a united unit with DH, in that if DS hits you or whatever, it's clear that you're both cross.
Hope that makes some sense...

I am a working mom. I work 40hrs/week. My inlaws take care of my little girl, she's 17months. She's a happy kid but when I arrive home and go to hug her, she doesn't reciprocate, she's angry & resents it. After constant encouragement, she comes around & plays with me. My husband works full-time too, but when he comes home, she runs to him like a little puppy...
At night she sleeps with me & my husband but, does not like me hugging her; she starts sobbing if I try to touch her & moves close to her daddy. Initially I did not take much notice of it, but its driving me crazy. I get very depressed & feel full of guilt, should I quit my job, spend more time with her... will that change her attitude? what should I do?