My ex partner is being difficuit

[Sarahsmith245]

Hey,
I was wondering if you guys can help and I finding not much information online.
Me and my ex separating 2 years ago we have a 1 year old son and have been co parenting well.long story short my son was born prem and from there his family at the start were very controlling and even more as the baby was born ( my exs mother even pushed me away from my own son when I tried to hold him for the first time) I had c a section and he was intensive care so I didnt get to see him for over a week. Anyway I have tried to move forward me and son moved into a really nice apartment together outside of London, well Kent and my ex partner lives at home with his parents in Hackney with 3 other people. We share my son 50/50 so literally split the week in half, I work from home and I run my business and he works a 9-5 in the city. Its best to note hes not on the birth certificate as I was worried at the start his family would control me and my son more and have more say as they are extremely controlling. He has mentioned he wants his mother to take our son to school but she doesnt drive nor do I and lives 1hour and half away from myself. I fear he will fight to get my son in nursery in hackney as we do 50/50 I cannot see him allowing me to have my son mon to friday just so he can go to school in our area which by the way has amazing schools. Even though hes at work in the week he always wants his mother to look after him. What can I do to bring this issue up to him without causing an argument? Its more ideal for myself to take my son to school and locally as I do not drive. Even if I did is it really fair to drop my son all the way into east london from kent to school just so that the grand mother can take him aswell? Its all too much and any helo would do thank you

Also if this would go to court do you think he could win? I have agreed to put him on the birth certificate eventually once my sons older as hes only 1 years old I don't want them having the chance to determine where my son goes to school and from pass experiences I find it hard to trust them .

Am confused.. you have been separated for 2 years but have a 1 year old together?
And if you weren't married, hes not on the birth certificate then you can just enroll him in a school near you. I personally think spmiting 50/50 as in the week days will have to change once he starts school. Kids need routine and cant start 4 days in one place, four days another then back to you for 4 days etc.. good luck OP x

Heyy yes I mean we was together 2 years ago our son is nearly 2 we broke up as he was born sorry kinda confusing!

Well he wants to be the birth certificate thats the issue and once he fights in court to be on it he wants the baby to be going to school in his area.

Also I agree with you its not nice for a child to not be stable thats why I want him to go school near me x

Which ever parent he is living with Is the area hr goes to school end of. Me and oh (recently split share custody of our DC. We each live with obe of our dc, spend weekends together as a family for DC sake and DC see each other once during week too. Ds predominantly with dad so he will e going to school in his dads area, whereas I predominantly have dd so she goes nursery in the area I live in

Does he pay you any maintenance? I agree with PP. Am not a lawyer but the court will maintain that the child should go to school where they live most. Also if your Ex has long working hours and the child will be left with his mother and nit him, I dont think the court will take hom from a loving mother to be looked after by a GMm

Hey, he pays no maintenance for my son and doesnt help with milk or nappies. The only reason I am holding back with putting him on the birth certificate is I know he wants to him to go to school in his area and I dont drive so I couldn't take my son to school which isnt fair.

Well he pays no maintenance, doesn't contribute at all. I dont know why you are bending over backwards to accommodate him! No court will hand over custody to hom for his mother to look after your child. Start by asking him to start paying maintenance! How dare he make demands.

If the care is split 50/50 he won't owe any maintenance.

I think you need to speak to someone about this, ie. get actual proper legal advice from someone more qualified than strangers on the internet.

FWIW - If he isn't on the birth certificate he can't enrol your child in nursery or in school. They generally ask for a birth certificate for that (to prove you have PR, which currently he does not). If you live so far away from each other 50/50 custody isn't going to work long-term, it just can't. So you're going to have to sort something out, I recommend (strongly) doing this formally and through legal channels.

Keep him off the bc if you don't want him to have a say in any decisions. If the tight bastard won't support his dc he should be kept off it imo.

keep him off the bc if you don't want him to have a say in any decisions. If the tight bastard won't support his dc he should be kept off it Imo
He has him 50/50 therefore shouldn't pay!
Talking about not putting him of the birth certificate is appalling! This is a child we are talking about. The child deserves to have both parents legally acknowledged, and as for not having stability, if he is already with both parents equally, then the stability will be to keep this arrangement going. I can see that with each parent living so far from each other, this isn't going to be practical. But it's up to both parents to find something that will work for everyone.

OP keep him him off the bc, without his name on there he has no legal right to make decisions regarding your child. If he insists on his name being added call his bluff and go through the courts.

I think it’s highly unlikely any court in the land would make a ruling for him to attend a Hackney school if you are the primary carer and the schools where you live are outstanding.

Re the maintenance have you contacted the CMS? Would be worth assessing what you may be entitled to.

I have been going through similar. My ex frequently asks to be added to my DD bc (not sure why he’s not been involved in any meaningful way) and each time I tell him to go to court (but he never does).

Thank you everyone for taking your time to reply means alot. The reason I have been holding off putting him on the BC is because his family have tried to control and take my son from me from day1. They are a very strict family and believe that there way is the best way, id like to highlight they are from a chinese tradition too. I mean the mother hit me in the hospital for god sacks. After everything I have tried to avoid court and tried to just do 50/50 so they can stay off my back but still not good enough. I think once the time comes I hope they will all calm down I mean its not for another 2 years I think everyones bitter that its not going there way and I know the court would favour myself as a mother because I work from home and I have outstanding schools for him in the area.

He pays absolutely nothing but like somebody else already mentioned because we do 50/50 he doesnt have to pay me anything. I honestly dont care about money I just want them to be more understanding and stop trying to control the situation.