Worried about 2.5 yo DS’s reaction to DD’s imminent arrival - DS non verbal and suspected ASD

[PrincessConsuelaBanana]

Hello, I’m really fretting and hoping for some advice from anyone who’s been through / going through a similar situation please. I have one DS and expecting DD at the start of August when DS will be 2.5 years old. DS has decided over the last month that he hates everyone except for me (mum), even his dad he pushes away. He was previously really independent and nothing phased him, but he cries when I leave the room now and is inconsolable when we drop him off at nursery whereas he used to stroll in and not look back.

I know it’s quite common for older siblings to be a bit jealous and unsettled when a new baby arrives and have been reading through threads for advice and tips. However because DS is completely non verbal and has suspected ASD and delayed development / understanding as well as a hearing issue, he doesn’t understand that he’ll have a baby sister soon and we won’t be able to explain things to him or try and involve him in things with the baby (helping to feed etc etc) We’re going through referrals for SALT, portage, an operation to help his hearing, behavioural paediatrician and ASD specialists etc etc but everything is taking forever.

So in the meantime I’m hoping the lovely people of mumsnet have any advice or and similar experiences to share please? Thank you very much xxxx

Hi OP, please relax about this. My DD (ASD/speech delayed/disordered) was just turned 2 when my DS was born. I had all of the same worries.

However, it's been wonderful and my DS has absolutely been the making of my DD. They love each other and he has really helped her to learn to talk, consider others etc. It does help that my DS is a neurotypical chatterbox though.

They will be fine :)

Thank you so much @Dharma ! I over think things sometimes and as I don’t know anyone else who’s been in the same position I was just worrying. Hopefully my DD and DS will have a lovely relationship like yours