Feel heartbroken to leave DD at nursery.

[PerfectPeony2]

I know everyone has to do this but I’m absolutely devastated. I go back to work next week and, although it’s only 3 days a week she will be at nursery from 8am-5.30pm.

Settling in sessions have been fine, but I feel like this will ruin our bond and she still breastfeeds when we’re together during the day.

I would love to be a SAHM. I wish it was an option for us.

Will it get easier to leave her? She’s 11 months old and although it has been very challenging, I don’t want to miss anything.

You won't miss anything. The first time you see her do something, is the first time for you, doesn't matter if they did it at nursery.

Honestly, not trying to be harsh, if you don't have a choice and you need to go back you need to get on board with the decision 100%, or your dd will pick up on your feelings.

You dd will have so much fun at nursery, and then they are always so excited to see you when you pick them up.

I love my 3 hours with my dd once i pick her up, but then there is no-way i could be a SAHM, i'd go out of my mind with boredom

Thank you lazypuppy I know I need to be confident handing her over- which I pretend to be but really I hate it.

DH earns good money but isn’t on board with me taking a career break just yet. Which is fair enough as there are lots of benefits to me staying in work.

It makes me feel so anxious. DD still doesn’t sleep that well, is quite high maintenance and I feel like there’s a lot of pressure to be super Mum who juggles everything. I’m just not sure I can!

I don't have to face this for another few months but what I'm telling myself is he's going to gain so much being at nursery. He'll get to learn interaction with other children, see older children, play with toys he doesn't have at home and it will help him prepare for school in the long run!

Also the nursery should help support you with things ie potty training etc.

Try to remember you're doing it for your child xx

@PerfectPeony2 even more reason to enjoy your time at work when you dont have to be super mum, or even mum!

Its great, you don't have to think about naps, nappies, bottles. And if you want food or drink, you just go and get it, no baby in tow!

With both parents earning, think of the things you can afford to do when you take a week annual leave -go on holiday or to the zoo, or whatever.

Also nursery staff are bloody good and getting your child to sleep even when you can't. Seriously, i don't know how they do it

It seems like the most awful thing ever beforehand, but honestly give it a few weeks and you'll wonder what you were worrying about.

Agree with a previous poster, you need to put on a big smile and show your child it's a good thing as they will take their cues from you. If you look upset or worried they will think it's something they need to get upset about. Don't linger at the goodbyes if they are crying a bit as it will make them worse, as soon as you're out of sight - in the nicest possible way - they forget about you and get on with the business of having a brilliant fun time.

Once you've had a hot coffee and wee'd on your own you will be loving life and your baby will be having lots of great new experiences with other children. Then when you see them you appreciate them even more and have quality time :)

I honestly felt exactly the same as you @PerfectPeony2. I spent the weekend before DS started nursery in tears and dreaded the thought of leaving him. The first day was hard especially as I got a call at 2pm to say he was miserable and they thought it best I came to collect him so it didn't create any aversions for him but after that he's loved it.
They do so much with them and the bonus is it wears him out so sleep has improved.
It's made our relationship stronger as I'm no longer stressed out mummy with a moaning baby.
I've gone back 3 days a week but actually decided to go full time from September, DS will be 18 months. Luckily I can work from home so he won't be there such long days every day.

I felt exactly the same as you OP. I cried my eyes out after dropping him off at nursery the first few times.

it has been the best thing for both of us!! He is well settled now and so happy there. I enjoy my time with him so much more and can honestly say I actually enjoy being a mother to him now. Ive been working three days but I'll be starting full time work in the summer.

Thank you! I do like the idea of her socialising with the other kids and the fact we’ll get quality time.

It’s just she’s been such hard work this past year, just when it seems to be getting a little easier it’s time to go back and put her in nursery. Feels like a waste!