Child maintenance and leaving school

[Cornishmaid77]

I'm after a bit of advice with regards to my stepson who is taking his GCSE's and leaving school this year. My husband has regularly paid his ex wife child maintenance through a private agreement however since this was agreed there is now zero communication between them and they haven't spoken for years (due to the new husband not liking them speaking). All contact with my stepson stopped (my husband is still in contact with him but his ex doesn't know as the son is scared of what she will say) but we still continued to pay as we should.

My question is we know that DSS will be doing an apprenticeship once he has finished his exams as he told my DH this so do we still need to pay his ex wife the child maintenance? I understand that we stop paying once she stops getting child benefit but how do we find this out? We would rather pay DSS directly and boost his income a bit. This isn't us trying to get out of paying, my DH accepts his responsibilities as the father but it is frustrating having no communication with the ex wife so as we can sort things amicably. It will be sure to kick off if we stop the payments so I want to make sure we are within our rights to do so. It's £250 per month so a lot of money to us that will make a big difference.

What age is he?

Does he have a bank account that your dh could pay into

I would still pay it. He won't be on a good wage as an apprentice so probably won't be able to pay his mum keep money.
Just because he has finished education doesn't mean your husband should stop paying for him. Your husbands ex wife will still be paying for him so so should your husband.

If he is doing an Apprenticeship my understanding is that all benefits, chb tax credits etc will stop for that child as they are classed as being in receipt of their own income. If they went to FT college/6th form and had a PT job all benefits would continue.

My ds is doing an apprenticeship and I still receive maintenance

@dementedpixie he will be 17 when the apprenticeship starts.

According to the cms website maintenance is only paid during school age up to A levels. If the child is doing an apprenticeship then maintenance can stop.

I am thinking that maybe we split what we pay and give half to her and half to DSS. We don't have bank account details for him (although we have a bank account that we set up when he was younger and have paid into it on birthdays and at Christmas from money relatives have given him) but we could easily get them from him I'd imagine.

would still pay it. He won't be on a good wage as an apprentice so probably won't be able to pay his mum keep money.

If CMS stops I’d stop paying it. However small his income it’s an income nonetheless which will ease the burden from Mum. It’s child maintenance not adult.

Better to help DSS with any expenses as they arise in my humble opinion.

Cross posts but if you reduce it you’ll fall out, if you stop it you’ll fall out. If she’s not easy to talk to going halves is just saving up a problem for next year when it stops altogether.

Is it a paid apprenticeship? If it's an unpaid foundation apprenticeship then child benefit would still be paid.

@dementedpixie it will be paid altho I'm not sure how much.

@Foxmuffin you're right. Whatever we do is going to cause arguments and she is very unreasonable.

@Cornishmaid77 Once he has started his apprenticeship stop paying ex wife, ask SS how money is in terms of whether he is paying board etc and then give him the money to pay the board so what he earns is his. That is more than fair and he isn't in education anymore so she won't be getting any benefits for him!

Stop paying, and just deal with the fallout once. Ask DSS about finances - whether he is paying board, cost of travel, etc - and then pay him an amount directly (doesn't have to be the full £250 but could be depending on the conversation).