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Parenting

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Original poster

Ties and top buttons in secondary school.

29 replies

Mehnra · 02/06/2019 12:02

What's the rules on ties and top buttons in your child's school. My son is in year seven has started to leave the house with his tie short and top button undone. I have disagreed with him about this in recent weeks and think he should dress a lot smarter. This is stated in the school uniform policy so I'm sure he's getting picked up on this in school. I know it's not the biggest thing in the world, but I think he should look smart for school and fasten his top button, or am I being to strict on him.

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GetUpAgain · 02/06/2019 12:05

Hes Y7, let him decide! School will deal with it if they are bother.

Neither of my kids have to wear ties at their high schools. One wears trainers. They get great school reports. Don't stress over it.

WindsweptEgret · 02/06/2019 12:06

I haven't seen a single child with a short tie at my child's school, I'm sure they'd be told to fix it if they did that, it looks idiotic. Not that I'm a fan of ties but if they have to wear them then they should do so properly. Top button is hidden under tie, so if it's undone it doesn't get noticed. Enjoying the summer term as they look much more comfortable in polo shirts though.

RedSkyLastNight · 02/06/2019 12:09

Dc's school insists on top buttons done up, ties on (and shirts tucked in). They will pull up students who are not conforming to this rule.
Virtually no DC stick to it out of school grounds though. DS goes to school with unbuttoned top button and no tie. He sorts out his uniform just before he goes into school.
I expect your DS is dressing as he does to fit in with others. Not a battle I could get worked up about fighting

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netukar · 03/06/2019 19:55

The rule is top button and tie done up in my son's school. Failure, to comply to this rule will in a uniform mark. They leave the house dressed properly in the morning and know the rules. If they get a detention for it then I will support the school.

dementedpixie · 03/06/2019 19:58

Fgs, does it really matter if the top button is fastened or not? Mine don't fasten it but the tie is tied in such a way that it isn't noticeably unfastened

dementedpixie · 03/06/2019 19:59

And I don't know what is meant by a short tie either

JasperTheFriendlyGhost · 03/06/2019 19:59

My 15yo DD and her friends all wear the ties to just above the bellybutton but have the top couple of buttons undone. Teachers don’t mind.

WindsweptEgret · 03/06/2019 20:06

dementedpixie A short tie is where they tie a huge knot so the tie is shorter than the usual to the waistband length.

ChippyMinton · 03/06/2019 20:11

Let the school worry about it.

RabbitseatDogs · 03/06/2019 20:13

My DS's school have just relaxed tie and blazer for summer term (previous head had them wearing blazers and toes in sweltering weather), they can now wear no tie or blazer. DS is very happy. But, when he wears a tie he keeps top button undone because it's too uncomfortable, but his tie covers it. Given that he usually comes home covered in pen, paint, mud, food and grass stains he doesn't look smart anyway round. But he's happy and seems to be learning so I'm happy.

I'd leave your son to it and as pp said, if the school have an issue they'll pull him up on it.

TeenTimesTwo · 03/06/2019 20:16

He's either rebelling or fitting in.
If he's rebelling school should pick him up on it.
If he's fitting in then clearly a lot of other kids do it too and he won't get in trouble.

That said, I'd make sure they left the house presentable, anything after that isn't your responsibility.

Schnitzelvonkrumb · 03/06/2019 20:22

My DDs school has a rule that least 4 (or 5, can't be sure) diagonal stripes are visible on the tie, anything else is too short. It does mean that the back of the tie is stupidly long though. I think they do get warnings about uniform. The girls skirts are meant to be knee length although lots roll them up, and they (presumably mostly boys) aren't allowed grade 1 or 2 hair cuts or patterns cut in.

helpmum2003 · 03/06/2019 20:26

I would let school deal with it - pick your battles.

If my DC do anything against school uniform policy I tell them I'll back school with any punishments.

pikapikachu · 03/06/2019 20:30

My kids dress like that and I leave it to the school. Their tie is stripy and the school has a rule about about how many stripes should be visible. Ds2 tucks in the longer half of his tie between the 2nd and 3rd buttons.

From experience, lots of kids get away with stuff like that at their school so it's up to the teachers to enforce the rule imo.

pourmeanotherglass · 03/06/2019 20:46

No point interfering, as others have said, let the school enforce the rules ( or not ). My girls both roll their school skirts up to make them shorter and try to get away with hiding stud earrings under their hair. I think there are more important battles to pick, so long as they turn up on time and do their homework im not too worried.

GetUpAgain · 04/06/2019 11:43

I was at parents afternoon recently and I noticed how many of the kids had adapted their uniforms to bend or break the rules. Range of hairstyles too. It was so bloody lovely seeing teens with a bit of spark and imagination. It must be literally soul destroying having a really strict policy of what you look like. Especially when we all know how important diversity and inclusion is, and yet most strict policies seem aimed at turning kids into the dad from Mary Poppins.

ynos · 15/06/2019 20:50

My son has tried similar lately, leaving the house, top button undone, short tie which I completely disagree. Thankfully, his school have a strict uniform policy, even having to ask permission to remove his blazer in class. So, I know that what I'm insisting upon is what the school also insists upon.

LesLavandes · 15/06/2019 20:53

School rules. Abide by them. End of

LolaSmiles · 15/06/2019 20:57

He needs to follow school rules. Countless students leave the house looking smart but have managed to adjust their tie, shirt, skirt etc by the time they arrive at the gates. Twas ever thus since we were in school and before.

The main thing is that you make it clear to DC that if they get pulled up for it or sanctioned then you back the school and they have to suck it up.

Most of our parents take the approach of 'we bought you the correct uniform so if you get sanctioned it's tough luck'. It's a sensible approach.

ynos · 15/06/2019 21:18

totally agree, which I why i'm strict with my son. I have told him to leave the house with his top button fastened, tie done up and taking pride in his uniform. I support the school if he's sanctioned for not abiding by the uniform rules.

OhMsBeliever · 15/06/2019 21:28

My boys school has the logo on the tie that has to be visible so they can't make it short. I have no idea whether they enforce it strictly. Mine go with shirts untucked but I leave up to the school to pull them up on it if they need to.

I'm usually still too sleepy in the mornings to care about what they look like!

donnaest · 19/06/2019 23:12

The rule is top buttons and ties fastened, shirts tucked in at both my sons schools. Failure to stick to the rules and they are told to adjust their uniform or face the consequences. They also have to ask permission to remove their blazers. I agree with strict uniform rules and both mine are in good schools.

simms1 · 21/06/2019 18:02

Does it really matter. I think schools pay to much attention to school uniform. Mine regularly go out of the door in the morning with their ties not done up to the top. Whether, the school picks them up on it is up to them.

Haywards · 04/07/2019 18:55

Top button and ties done up where I teach. Failure to stick to that and you get a uniform mark. It's not hard.

Tej1 · 24/07/2019 13:32

Just read out the uniform rules to my son for September. Must ask permission to remove his blazer in class, shirt tucked in, top button done up at all times, tie certain length, hair certain grade, black formal shoes. I have told him to abide by the rules, otherwise, he will face the consequences at home as well. Needs to look smart.

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