Maternity leave so boring/stressful

[Splattmanchoo]

Does anyone have any routines for how they filled their days on mat leave? I have a hard to please 7 month old who doesn't nap well and I'm going nuts. I have 3 months left. I go out as much as possible but still feel like the days are sooooo long. What do you do all day? Help! Xxx

I find it a challenge too! I found it helped to think of the day in segments that are split up by naps. First one includes breakfast, second an activity (walk, class, library trip etc.) lunch and third dinner and bedtime routine.

I find it helps the days go by but still achieving something. Plus when my LO is having a bad day it keeps me sane knowing I only have one segment or nap to go until bedtime!

Hope your LO starts napping better soon!

Oh I feel your pain. My 6 month old has taken to whining constantly! She’s always been generally content, so long as she’s always on the move - cannot just sit and play with a toy/in her Jumperoo for more than three minutes. She also only has half hour long naps 3 x daily so very little to break the day up.

Only advice I can think of is to have a group or activity planned for every single day, then maybe a walk for the other half of the day? Sometimes I just drive to a local small town (we live rurally) and walk round and round it for a change of scene.

Love the darling girl to the moon and back, but boy I cannot wait to go back to work soon; give me 30 eight year olds any day! Her grandma who is doing childcare will be more than happy to be a children’s entertainer all day long (though we are currently going through a clingy phase so is more likely that she’ll just scream all day instead 🤦🏽‍♀️).

Hey, I’m the same I’m only 2 months in & im going mad already. I have tried to do the same things on each day of the week so I have some routine & I know what I’m doing from one day to another. I walk a lot with baby. I mean some days I will walk for 3-4 hours just to get out of the house. It can be lonely ☹️ x

I found a soft play centre and spent a lot of time in there (rewarding myself with a coffee and cake way too often in there)- went to the shops a lot- tried swimming a couple of times (too much faff)-went for walks- great for my own state of mind.

Thanks guys! Glad to know it's not just me! I visit relatives a lot as thankfully most are retired but don't go for walks so I think I should start doing that. I think it will be so much more enjoyable when you've got the variety of going to work. Hang in there ladies! I just don't understand the people who actually love mat leave. I'm envious, think I'm missing a trick somewhere? xx

Bonus with walks is my wee one quite often naps! And it works off the cake pp mentioned!

I was the same. I never worried about going out everyday, i qorked my way through a lot of boxsets while LO played/napped etc.

Only good thing was i was really ready to go back to work after 9 months which made it easier

I think it all depends on their mood on the day doesn't it? If she's in a good mood it's a bit boring but quite nice to chill together. If she's in a bad mood it's a day of clock watching and stress. Looking forward to the days when we can have a conversation

I found him 2 mornings in a nursery, otherwise I would have driven myself mad. It was still difficult to deal with the criticism but unless you have friends with babies the same age, that you can meet to exchange stories and advice, it is very very difficult.

But it gets better, it does.

Thanks Tanmateix. It makes a real difference to know others feel/felt the same. Well done you for making that decision for yourself regardless of what people thought. It would be a lot easier if we all still lived in tribes so we could get a regular break and have other adults to talk to all day x

Yes, we certainly need the tribes as it is rightly said, you need a village to raise a child. Having a baby is exhausting work and extremely lonely if you don’t have a “tribe”. The NCBT does wonders to recreate those “tribes” but unfortunately I didn’t find them in time.

... and it was not a decision based only on myself, you are a better mum when you are not frazzled up with weeks/months of accumulated exhaustion.

Spent hour after hour after hour just bloody walking him around park after park, shopping arcade free shipping arcade. Lonely times.

I’ve just gone back to work part time but our routine used to be:
Monday - Baby signing
Tuesday - Local village baby/toddler group
Wednesday - Swimming
Thursday - Free day, sometimes Rhyme Time, sometimes seeing friends/relatives
Friday - another mum and baby group

I’d stretch out breakfast and morning play until nap time. Usually popping him in the car for a sleep if we were going somewhere or if not, popping him in the pushchair. Then morning activity followed by lunch and another nap (car seat or pushchair usually). Then just had a few hours to get through - usually going for a walk or playing in the garden, until dinner time, bath and bed. We loosely follow the 2-3-4 nap schedule so I always know how long we have left until the next sleep, which makes things easier I think.

Gosh I find the days absolutely fly by but my 4.5 month DS is on a strange sleeping pattern where he goes to sleep late and wakes up late so I have quite leisurely mornings. I like to keep busy, I try to do an activity each day and also a good two hour walk. By the time I get home it's usually 4.30 and I get some dinner on and chill for my DP getting home at 6.30. Have you got mum friends in the area? Are there groups you can go to?

My week is usually
Monday - hartbeeps
Tuesday - baby cinema
Wednesday - mum and baby yoga
Thursday - free day, meet friends for a walk
Friday - baby sensory

Hope it gets easier for you xxx

My LO is 4.5 month. I also think of the day in segments, I also try to do things every day. My routine is as folllows at the mo

Monday - free day, usually go to the shops or for a walk in the afternoon.
Tuesday - sometimes a local group or a walk
Wednesday- baby sensory (usually pop to pub for lunch after)
Thursday - local baby group (if nice a walk around the local park after)
Friday - tots play (supermarket on the way home).

Lucky for us we have a nature reserve at the back of our house which takes about 30 mins to walk round so thats nice just to get out.

I don't have mum friends unfortunately although best friend is due this month. Other half works 12 hour shifts 5 days a week. I struggled to organise groups as they always seem to clash with feeds/potential naps. Did you guys just go to them regardless or did you manage to find some that worked around your routine? Think I probably need to get out walking! X

I've only made friends by going to groups, none of my friends are anywhere near having babies so I've had to put in work to make mum friends 😂

It's tricky with naps sometimes but I just work back the time of the group to work our feed and sleep and sometimes have a big walk before.

And once you have a couple mum friends if you want to save on money as groups add up you can just have a nice walk together. Really helps having some adult company!

OP I used to feel exactly like you,
I hated the last hour or two before my partner got home the most, felt like pulling teeth!

I used an app called mush which helps you meet other mums near by or generally just chat and find out what's going.

My LO has seen one baby we met through there every week since she was 4 months and they are now nearly 18 months. They are so cute together

I actually cut my mat leave and went back to work when ds was 6 months. I was due to have 9 months off and could of had 12 but it just wasnt for me. I was so lonely, bored and pretty much felt like I was cracking up through a lack of mental stimulation. Just to say it ok to find it lonely and boring. You can cut it short if you want. Hope you find some ideas.

Baby groups made a huge difference for us. If DS is awake he loves seeing other babies, playing with different toys, bouncing to the singing or any of the sensory stuff. It then knackers him out and is easier in the afternoons as between naps and feeds there's only so much entertaining I need to do!

If he's asleep I still get to chat to other adults and get out of the house. I've exchanged numbers with a few mums and we've started meeting for coffee and play dates as I don't have any mum friends!

Check local churches as well as the more expensive groups. A lot near us hold toddler groups but have babies there too and are only £1 donation! They still knacker him out!

Oh god, I hated maternity leave. I was never so bored and anxious and lonely, all at the same time. I went back to work at 6 months with my first child and 5 months with my 2nd as I just couldn't stand it anymore! That might not be an option for you but I just wanted to let you know you're not alone. The worst thing was that every other mum I met seemed to be loving it and not wanting to go back to work which made me feel like a freak and the worst mother in the world. I've since discovered that I actually love being a mum, as long as I can work as well!

Did you guys just go to them regardless or did you manage to find some that worked around your routine?

DS loves a car nap so we’ll leave early for a group and get him to nap on the way/in the car park for a bit if I know he’ll need a sleep. Or if we’re walking I’ll strap him in the pushchair with some white noise on my phone. Feed-wise, he just has his meals around activities and I can always pop out a boob if he’s desperate, although he only really has 3/4 breastfeeds nowadays.

Gym with creche was fab at this stage.

Whether or not you’re lonely is key. I was lonely with dc1

I hated the last hour or two before my partner got home the most, felt like pulling teeth

Me too! Absolutely the most boring part of the day. We do several baby groups and they're all pretty friendly but I have struggled to make friends that I can actually meet up with on dull days. Some days are very lonely. Luckily dp works from home two days a week.

I get so bloody bored walking around the park on my own.

I am very lucky with DD (8 months) as she can sit in her play pen or jumperoo happily for a while and she naps well so can't complain about her, just wish I had more friends but no idea where to start!