Breastfed baby... now needs formula

[Poppy1989]

I don't need judging, or people telling me I'm being silly..... (if your going to do either, don't)

Iv breastfed my boy for coming up to 11 months now.
It's been truly wonderful, and hard at times.
I have this feeling in my head..... especially at night time, that he's not feeling enough/ getting enough. I feel this is causing him to wake through the night. (Don't try and tell me it's not, Iv tried everything else)

I would now like to introduce formula for bed times. But..... I have no idea what to do! I have never bottle fed, I don't know what one to buy, do I just introduce it one night? Do I start with a small amount? How much?!
He eats cheese, yogurt and I cook with milk ect so I'm not so worried about a milk intolerance.
I just haven't got a clue!

He's also going through the whole "not napping" stage and will only sleep if I'm driving round in the car! (Which I HATE doing) I don't know if he would learn to have a bottle and nap?! Like bottle and bed?!

Basically..... I'm exhausted and fed up! I know there is no book on parenting.... but F*ck I wish there was!!!

If anyone has advice or just wants to share a story?! Or even just say....... nice post!
I'm all ears! Thank you!!

I tried to get my son (who never ever slept) to take a bottle of formula around that age but he was having none of it so the health visitor suggested warm full fat milk in a soppy cup instead and that worked a treat. Also a bed time snack can help too if you think he’s still hungry.

I wouldn't bother with formula at 11 months OP, at 12 months it's fine to stop with formula and switch to cows milk in a sippy cup so I'd just do that a couple of weeks early. Otherwise you'll have to go through a whole separate thing to wean him off the bottle in a few months!

Btw I have to warn you that I put my DS on formula instead of breast milk at 8 months to try and improve his sleep and it didn't work. Sorry!

I agree with the above - full fat cows milk in a sippy cup

@Tamarasnotmyname @Pearlfish @TheDuckSaysMoo

Thank you! I didn't think of that actually! I will try the warm milk for bed time and skip the formula all together!
I feel slightly abandoned at this stage of parenting! The baby stage everyone gave opinions... but now I feel like I'm winging it and not doing the best!

I think that if you have never given your baby a bottle before, you may find it very hard to introduce now at 11 months. My DS was exclusively breastfed and I struggled to introduce a bottle of even expressed breast milk and I tried a lot earlier.
I agree with others that at 11 months I'd skip the formula and opt for full fat cows milk in a sippy cup.
Good luck!

I’d also just give cows milk at this stage. Starting formula now would be unnecessary and a massive faff. Three meals per day plus cows milk and b/milk when you want to give it.

Cup of cow's milk, give it before teeth brushing then story/cuddle and bed.

I've always found a bowl of porridge is much more effective than a bottle/cup of milk. Also, if you can avoid introducing a bottle and go straight to a soppy cup saves weaning off bottles. Soppy cups are better for their teeth.

Sippy*

For naps, have a good routine, put him in bed at nap time and rub his back. You don't want to substitute one crutch for another.

We do a cup of cold cows milk (she didn't like warm + it's easier in long run off they aren't relying on warm milk), brush teeth then a breast feed. But she is number 2 and is very very reluctant to give up breastfeeding. Has been like this for 4 months now but it works for us and she sleeps about 9hrs.

Have you considered the 12 month sleep regression may have started? Is he going through any developmental leaps like trying to walk?

I agree with everyone else's suggestion of cow's milk. But also, his night waking might not be caused by anything that you're doing or not doing. It might just be the way he is, some babies are. It can be very normal for them to wake in the night at 11 months looking for comfort. My first did and I fully expect DS2 to be as well. He's 9 months now and doesn't sleep through. He has just gone to 2.5 hour stretches rather than 1 hour, which is a relief.

Do you want to stop breastfeeding? Or just give a warm milky drink as an addition?

Agree with those saying cows milk now

If you want to stop breastfeeding, then you do not need to justify that to anyone so I'd just go on to cows milk in a sippy cup. Don't introduce a bottle now. I know one friend who this worked brilliantly for. However, if you don't necessarily want to stop, then breastmilk will still have hormones that aid sleep at night which cows milk won't. My ds is 12 months and I've found a bowl of cereal/porridge with cows milk about 6 and then breastfed to sleep seems to work better. He definitely sleeps better if he's had that extra meal.

Definitely a sippy cup. It might not improve sleep. My awful sleeper of a daughter got much worse at napping when I stopped breastfeeding at 20 months.

I did find at about 10 months or so it helped that I slowly increased time between feeds at night so she eventually mostly slept through, was really a difficult time. Good luck.
She’s 11 years old now and still struggles with sleep from time to time.

@BertieBotts
I would love to continue to breastfeed and just give a bottle of milk for night time.
If my supply hadn't dipped so much then I wouldn't really want to do a bottle for bed. But he seems to be weaning himself off the boob. He only interested first thing in the morning. Iv tried to pump loads to increase it but it's just not happening which does makes me sad. I want to do what's best for him.

@Fannyfanakerpants
Thank you! The breastfeeding just seemed to be coming to an end, he's not really interested and my supply is low now.
Because his naps as terrible/ non existent some days, he breastfeeds for a bit (around 3-4) but then I don't seem to have enough to satisfy him at bed time.
He's never been a good sleeper. And still now wakes 4-5 times in a night, sometimes taking 30 mins to get back to sleep.
Worrying about Bed time sleep, naps, breastfeeding and bottles has just got me emotional lately and feeling a bit deflated.

OK :) I asked because you might want to look locally for a breastfeeding support group, especially a La Leche League group if you have one nearby. I found them a brilliant support in terms of breastfeeding but also parenting in general once my baby was over one.

Hi Poppy,
Good luck with the milk suggestions.
I just wanted to say that you are doing a great job... The fact that you are trying to do the best for your lo shows that you are a great mum. My 7 month old does not sleep at all so I feel your pain and exhaustion but give yourself some credit for everything you are doing for your lo.
X

I'd start cow's milk at 12 months if you really want to try something different but you might find the bedtime feed the hardest as the breast is not just about milk. My ds was still waking at 2.5 for a feed. My daughters didn't sleep through until they were 4 and at school. Ds is 4 and doesn't sleep through u less he's in my bed.
Some children wake frequently in the night, some sleep through from early on. It seems the luck of the draw. Dd1 self weaned at 15 months, dd2 at 3.5y and ds still has a bedtime feed. Feeding them more during the day made no difference whatsoever. Neither did bedtime porridge.
My ds will only nap on the move too but in the buggy as I don't drive. An afternoon nap walk was always part of our daily routine. It kept me sane that bit of quiet and exercise as I knew I'd be up 4 times a night at least.
It gets easier as they get older and wake less.

People need to drop this obsession with babies sleeping through though as it makes mums feel like shit when their baby doesn't.
It's normal for baby's to wake in the night. Good luck.

I breastfed my first for 2 years and my 2nd for 8 months. I just introduced follow on milk. You have to try and break the habit as at 11 months they're just feeding for comfort and weaning should be established enough to not really need it. Easier said than done as it's so difficult to wean them off it, good luck lol x

People need to drop this obsession with babies sleeping through though as it makes mums feel like shit when their baby doesn't.

If my kids were waking me up all night long for years on end, I'd feel pretty shit for the simple reason that I'd be chronically sleep deprived--not because society was "making" me feel shit about it, to be honest.

OP, you can try experimenting with different milks of course, but this is most likely about sleep habits and the whole comfort thing, and I doubt that trying to introduce formula and bottles will make any difference (even if your baby accepts them which he probably won't!). I would give him a bowl of cereal and drink of water before bed, and do some sleep training. It won't magically make him sleep through every single night (they sometimes wake up if they are sick or nightmares, even when they are much older!) but it will likely improve the situation. The Kim West book (Sleep Lady) is very very good--I recommend it. She has a really nice reassuring tone and does not scold/lecture, and her advice is flexible and full of common sense.

Don't feel bad! It's normal to worry about parenting and sleep stuff--none of us feels like we ever have this stuff "sorted," honestly!

If you are stuck in a shit sleep situation and want to improve it, I suggest that you stay away from La Leche League TBH. They are a nice source of support if you want help with getting your newborn to latch on or dealing with mastitis, but oh my goodness, the last meeting I went to was basically a circle of women comparing stories on how many times their 3yos were waking them up all night long for milk. Which is fine if women are OK with this, but it doesn't sound like this is what you want at all and the last thing you need is a bunch of guilt-tripping!

There's no guarantee that giving formula or cow's milk before bed will decrease night waking, unfortunately.

It's maybe more likely that he's looking for comfort (or assistance to join sleep cycles) rather than feeling hungry, especially at 11 months.