Baby sleeping problems

[Taz101]

my daughter is 18 months and until now has been a text book child when going to bed getting herself to sleep without us being in the room. Overnight she has become hysterical & genuinely distraught if we leave the room before she's fallen asleep and also wakes up at night unable to fall back asleep, so we repeat the long process of getting her to sleep or eventually bring her to bed with us out of sheer exhaustion and desperation. Any idea why the sudden change and any advice on how to deal with it?

I should try the 'Sleep' thread if I were you - and good luck!

Apparently they go through a clingy phase at around 9 and 18 months- it's apart of development. My dr (who has 3 kids and I do trust her judgement) told me this, and ds was like this at 8 and 20 months.
I know it doesn't help the problem but it may help you relax a bit! Just keep reassuring her, and if you have the energy, IME going in to her room at short intervals, calming her down then leaving, eventually she shoudl get the message. I had an awful time of it with ds, albeit for only a few nights, but also started a thread on here. One evening he wouldn't give in so I ended up pottering around, putting clothes away, in and out between bedrooms, ignoring him but he was watching me, and I think this helped. It certainly gave him reassurance, yet I didn't go so far as sitting by his cot till he fell asleep. as I knew I'd only end up having to do that every night.

It will ease. Good luck.

Thanks for the advice!

Let me know how you get on tomorrow night.
And relax, she'll feel your stress when actually you know she's absolutely fine, she just wants Mummy!

I just put her down for her morning nap and the same thing happened. I tried leaving her door open and walking around so she sees me but it didn't make a difference. I lay on the floor outside her room and that's the only way she calms down. In the past I've never minded her crying for a bit and that's how she learnt to sleep on her own but this is proper hysterical, frightened, jumping up and down murderous screams!

Have you considered that she may not be needing a morning nap any more, and perhaps just an afternoon nap? She may not be as tired now she's 18 months? How much does she sleep in a full 24 hrs?

My Auntie stayed one weekend and ds just would not settle, and it wasn't till she suggested this to me that I realised there would be a day when he no longer napped! I think I had assumed he would nap till he was 10! I hope this isn't the case for you though, he dropped his morning nap at 6 months and afteernoon at 16 months! I really didn't expect that! However he sleeps 13-14 hrs at night so it is worth it.

HTH[smile

I don't think the naps is the problem as it happens all the time even when she's desperately tired. Spoke to child psychologist and she said they go through a real separation anxiety at this age but that I need to do controlled crying and also get rid of dummy, which she has to sleep. Complete nightmare! took her over 2 hrs to fall asleep last night plus 1 hr crying in the middle of the night. Really heartbreaking

I know what you mean, it is awful to listen to your child being very distressed.

I have 3 children and they've all done exactly what you describe at roughly the same age. I think its a normal stage of development. What you do depends on your long term goal. If you want her to go back to being able to settle herself then I think you will have to go through a tough few days of controlled crying. It really does work but you need to be very determined and not give in, as this will make it ten times worse ( I know from bitter experience).

I have friends who couldn't bear to do the controlled crying thing, but they have had 2 kids in their bed for the past 5 years!!!

If shes had a good sleep pattern in the past the likehood is she will again. You need to decide what to do and then stick with it and be very consistent so she gets a clear message.

Re. the dummy- I would suggest you either do the cc or lose the dummy, not at the same time as it will be simply too much. Maybe a couple of months apart, give yourselves both time. My niece hung her dummy on the Christmas tree, and Santa replaced it with presents...worked for my sister but my niece was 2.5 so understood the concept.

I'd just co-sleep for a bit. More sleep for all and no heartbreak. She will get through this insecure phase quicker with company

I tried to listen to the child psychologist and did cc and lose the dummy. It was awful and I agree it was just too much. She was crying for over 2 hrs before falling asleep! So have given her back the dummy and am doing the cc. Much better! She's getting the message and learning to get back to sleep. I don't think it's fair to lose the dummy until she's old enough to reason with. Thanks for all the advice