Help! potty-training ds witholding poo

[rhead]

This has come up in older threads but doesn't seem to have been discussed in a while and I could use some commiseration and advice... ds (2.5) has been potty training for a couple of weeks now, we're taking it fairly gently... He seems to have the hang of it, though gets lazy sometimes when he has a pull-up or pants and trousers on (I've decided to phase out the pull-ups and really go for it now, I think we're all ready and just need to be prepared for the odd accident). He's been good about pooing in the potty right from the start and hasn't had any poo accidents - well okay, apart from once on the stairs (no carpet, whew) while I think on the way to the potty and a little one yesterday on the front walk while he was out in just a t-shirt!

He's always been a regular one-poo-a-day guy but since we've been potty training it's now more like every 2-3 days, and he seems really anxious about it. I don't think it's painful tho he does seem to be a bit constipated... the killer is that after about a day and a half he obviously starts to need to poo - he walks around clutching his bum and whinges INCESSANTLY. He does this for HOURS, often over the course of a full day.

He'll sit on the potty or the loo for ages 'trying' but nothing happens - then when he's finally ready it's over and done in 30 seconds, and we get another day and a half or so of happy non-whingy boy. I've tried bribing him with sweets as he's a real sugar-hound (can't imagine where he gets that from, ahem) but that doesn't seem to help, and he's been drinking loads of OJ and eats tons of fruit and plenty of fiber... I'm not so much worried from a health perspective, it's just that the hours and hours of moaning and whimpering and whinging are hard to cope with, and I get angry and frustrated and short with him because he whinges and whinges but seems unwilling to do what he knows he needs to do (he says he needs a poo, but won't actually try to have one).

Help! Anyone else having this problem? Any suggestions (I know, try to be patient and supportive...)?

Bumping for you, I managed to avoid this with my DS, probably beacuse he had an exclusive diet of raisins at that age, but I knew a lot of DS's who did this so I'm sure someone will come along soon, with some helpful advice .I believe its very common in boys.

That's really interesting. My ds (just over 3 years now) is not doing a poo in the potty or toilet. He doesn't wear nappies during the day but still needs them at night so first thing in the morning he does a poo in the nappy (or sometimes at lunch time when he wears a nappy when he sleeps). He keeps saying " No poo in nappy" but won't do it on the potty, if we take nappy off first thing in the morning and he has not had a chance to do a poo he will just not do one all day. I have also promised him sweets etc and although he loves sweets (who doesn't)it has not worked. Would be great if someone has had a similar problem and could give some advise.....

Try putting a nappy in the potty.

A lot of people seem to find that their kids will still only poo in a nappy when they start toilet training... strange little creatures aren't they!? Mine resists that most strongly - one day about a week ago (after many, many, many hours of moaning and agreeing to sit on the loo with no results about 6 times) we ended up just encouraging him to go in his pull-up (weren't in the house at the time or I would've just had him go commando), and he finally did and was so distraught!

So can't help you there Booklover but I'm sure I've seen other threads discussing your exact problem. You're not alone!

Hi there rhead, I've got the same problem with DD2. She's fine with weeing in the potty but pooing is a different matter.

We've been potty training for just over a week and most of the poos have been in the pants, with much leg crossing, pant-holding. whingeing, asking for cuddles (whilst whingeing).

I've been patient so far but today we've had two poo accidents. I did get a bit cross as I cleared up the second mess - she wees as she pushes the poo out and second time she didn't have pants on as she was standing on a chair chosing some new pants.

After both my DH and I telling her again where the poo should go (in the potty or toilet) she began to repeat this over and over while having her dinner, then, to our surprise she did the first poo she's ever done having taken herself to the potty and just calling triumpantly to tell us that she'd done a poo in the potty! Hooray!

Not sure what will happen tomorrow - we are out for the day at my sisters so will be interesting!

Perhaps it's only a matter of time for your DS. I wish you the best of luck. Let us know how you get on.

Forgot to say DD2 is 2 years and 8 months old. And she has been holding on to her poos until she can't any longer.

DS did this for about 2 months. He would only poo when he was absolutely desperate to go and then rush to the toilet and often not get there in time and have an accident. He did all the sitting on your knee/moaning and refusing to play or move if he needed to go for a day or so. Pooing then being alright for a couple of days then starting again. Nothing we did really helped but it has got better over time. Now he still doesn't like going but will get there and rarely have accidents.

Things which made it better (but I think it was just time and him realising that poo must come out were the major factors) were:

Making sure he had as much juice/fruit etc as possible so it had to come out(though sounds like you are doing this already)
Racing him to the toilet and telling him that you can go before him etc (he is very competitive)
Trying to get him to walk around and not just letting him sit on your knee. If he went to the park he often did it as he wanted to play with the children.

We've had another reluctant poo in the potty today - perhaps she's getting it.

Rhead - any progress with your DS?

lol more hours and hours of whingeing and insisting that he didn't need a poo yesterday (day 2)... then finally in the bath he went to sit down down but immediately stood up clutching his bum and wouldn't sit again, but still insisted he didn't need to go - so I pulled him out and plonked him on the potty and again told him he wasn't getting off the potty or back into the bath until he'd had a poo for me. heh. again, it worked, tho he wasn't happy about it!

he really seems to get very anxious/upset about it, and i think it might be painful for him (both the holding and ultimately going, because it's very solid). sigh.

i rewarded him with a sweetie but he bit his tongue whilst chewing on it and cried even more. and he's a bit ill, quite feverish. poor little mite.

Just thought I'd update in case there are any other parents out there suffering with this problem... here we are 2 weeks later, and hallelujah, ds seems to have sorted himself out! He's managed more or less drama-free unannounced poos for about the last 4 or 5 days, and when he does get a bit upset about it all he now at least seems to recognize what he needs to do and is willing to do it! So, there is light at the end of the tunnel... hang in there!!