Hey mums,
I just wanted to start the conversation on loneliness. Now I know we all experience loneliness in different ways. Some of us may have people around us all the time but still feel lonely and some of us may literally have no one and are completely alone (except for our kiddos obviously).
My experience is, I have 3 kiddos, 1 hubby, 3 dogs. I come from a close family though since we've all got older and I've now moved we don't see or speak to each other as much as we used to. I speak to and usually visit my mum every single week, and make contact with my dad and siblings at least twice a month (they have very busy lives though I wish I saw and spoke to them much more!) But when we are together it's wonderful and we always spend boxing day together without fail and have spontaneous family nights probably twice a year. However if I do see them or my children see them it's 9/10 because I've driven down to them.
My siblings haven't visited me since I've moved (just over a year ago), and now my mums visits have dwindled. My dad will pop in randomly but that's if he's working in or around the area at the time.
I can literally count on 1 hand how many real 'friends' I have. And since I've moved even that has been questionable. When we moved everyone said 'I'll visit' but they never have (even the ones that drive and it only takes an hour max in the car!) I have one faithful friend who I've known since we were babies but we've always had a long distance friendship and only see each other maybe once a year. Other than that it's WhatsApp or phone calls to keep in contact.
I have two sister in-laws who I get along with but they're not friends as such, I wouldn't be able to be completely open and honest with them. I have no one to go to coffee with or have regular play dates with. No one invites me out for dinners or night out. Though I often see people who I thought were my friends travelling and going on nights out with others.
I am currently a student, just finished two years worth of professional qualifications in counselling and currently now studying towards a degree in psychology. I also volunteer with two charities to gain relevant work experience.
You'd think that I would have met people and developed some kind of friendships in those settings but no. Everyones nice and I am very sociable as far as striking up a conversation and getting to know people. But it never goes further as far as 'let's go for coffee'. Maybe I'm just not giving off a friendly vibe??? I have three children and get along with their school friends parents but again it never goes beyond the school gates.
One of my children has a rare degenerative disease that he was diagnosed with a few years ago. Our whole worlds were turned upside down and that is the reason we moved in order to get him into a much for better and appropriate school and to be closer to his specialists. I do communicate with other parents who have children with the same condition via Facebook and have been to coffee with a few of the mums but again that died down and now it's just Facebook group chats and regular updates on the pages regarding medical issues, or notifying us all when a child has passed away. (Sometimes I have to give Facebook a break for my own sanity).
I now spend my days either studying, volunteering, doing all the things us mum/special needs mums do, walking my dog and going off for coffee and wondering around shops alone. It would just be nice to have a couple of friends who in time I know I could trust, rely on and to not feel so alone.
As a woman I feel that friendships are so important and often feel slightly jealous when I see groups of friends out enjoying eachothers company. It makes me feel like damn, what's wrong with me? And I hope my children never have to feel the same as they grow older. Sorry if I'm now rambling but I just wanted to share my experience and see who else feels the same way.