Help, not coming well as parents!

[Stevenwall1]

So myself and my partner seem to have hit a major bump in the road with our children. My son is 4 and daughter is 3. To put it totally honestly we struggle to cope and be happy as a family. We both work Monday to Friday, myself only 9-3 So it's not the fact we don't get a break from the kids but when we are with them it's a battle to do absolutely anything. They bicker and fight and shout and scream and we have lost all motivation. My partner struggles with depression and he often tells me he can't do it anymore and that he feels he wants to leave. I have taken all of this literally on my shoulders and my anxiety has come back so bad (I was managing this well up until now). I worry about the future and about how I will manage if he does go. I just don't know when things will get easier, how do I stop them from constantly crying whinging and fighting? The guilt that follows me round knowing that I'm letting this time pass me feeling like this when I should enjoy them as much as possible but I just cant. I am seeking CBT counselling due to start next week and I have joined a gym to help my stress levels, I don't feel I want to start antidepressants but I'm so low right now. Any words of advice would be so appreciated right now, thanks

I don't really have any advice OP but didn't want to read and run.
It sounds like a really tough time. Those are difficult ages and I'm sure they will get easier. I hope someone comes along with some advice soon.
Do you have family support?

Has your oldest started school yet? That might change things for the better. Two under five isn't easy I know. I remember mine clashing constantly but at 11 and 9 they're thick as thieves now, have been for five years or so so it can come.

Your partner and you need to be a united front so maybe draw up some fresh house rules and consequences. Keep them simple.

You're doing your best and honestly those preschool years are f£££ing hard work!

Your partner threatening to leave sounds hurtful because it gives zero consideration to your feelings or needs. It presumes you'll just have to lump it if he does. I'm not sure what to suggest there but it's not fair on you so extra sympathy from me OP. This is his problem to tackle and running away isn't a reasonable option.