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Parenting

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Original poster

Will I regret it if we don't have a second child?

4 replies

MsBranwen · 27/05/2019 13:22

My husband and I have an amazing ds who is 18 months old. He's a great little kid but was a very difficult baby (colic, dreadful sleeper, couldn't latch) and I really struggled with severe anxiety during pregnancy and post natally. I'm feeling really happy now and think life feels pretty balanced. DH would like to try for another baby but I really think I'd be quite happy with just one. I really want to go back to work and set up my own business and don't think I'll be able to do that whilst trying for and caring for a baby but also as DH is 10 years older than me (I'm 33) it would be better to have another child sooner rather than later if we're going to, especially as it took me a while to conceive last time.

I feel that having another baby would put all of my plans for myself on hold and would also really rock the boat of our little family but I'm just wondering if I'll regret it if we don't try and have a second child?

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AssangesCat · 27/05/2019 13:25

We're all different, but DS is 10 now and I don't regret not having another. He was quite a handful at around the age we would have tried for another and I couldn't imagine dealing with a newborn at the same time. We'd imagined a two child family at least but we're quite content. No regrets.

Newyearsameoldshit · 27/05/2019 13:38

I think this is impossible for anyone to answer for you. There will be plenty of people happy with one child and plenty who couldn't imagine life without 2, 3, 4...

Do you need to decide right now? Could you take a little bit of time if it doesn't feel right? 18 months is still pretty little. Could you go back to work for a year, then see how you feel about everything? I know you say your partner is older but a year isn't so long in the grand scheme of things.

I had a hard time with my first baby and thought there was no way I could do it again. When she was about 2 1/2 it just seemed like a good idea to try for another. I have moments of Oh Christ What Are We Doing but assume it will all work out

Watchingthetelly · 27/05/2019 13:54

OP I'm in a very similar situation as you. I like the advice from @Newyearsameoldshit

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Copperbeaches · 27/05/2019 14:24

I have a LO similar age and have decided we won't be having any more .
He is great ,but very exhausting and full of energy and v social so takes up all your time .
I couldn't imagine starting again with a new born I'm not a baby person! or coping with two! Had a terrible birth so another reasons I couldn't go again
I'm pretty secure and happy with my decision and actually look forward to it just being the three of us . I'm sure at times I will worrying about there being no siblings etc but I hope LO will be happy as we are.
As PP says you can be only ones to decide and there is no need to rush .

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