Help - 7 year old and homework

[CielBleuEtNuages]

My DS (7.5) does not like homework. I can sympathise. But he has roughly 45 minutes a day to do and I am fed up of him getting angry and stomping off, or refusing to do it. Every. Single. Day.

I always sit with him to do it (often it involves me testing him, or listening to him read then asking questions, or timing (!) him whilst doing mental arithmetic).

I have been patient. I have been encouraging. I have threatened to remove screentime and followed through. I have said I've had enough and that he can explain to his teacher why his homework isn't done. Nothing works. He still gets very angry and agressive about doing it. (when I say I give up he then starts crying and screaming saying he wants to do it, but doesn't want to do it).

He always ends up doing it, I'm just fed up of the arguments and time-wasting.

He has a 2.5 hour break between the end of school and when I ask him to do his homework, in which time he plays in the park, has a shower and has his dinner. If he's quick about doing his homework he also has time to play before going to bed. but often he takes up such a lot of time that he finishes the homework then goes to bed.

Any ideas for avoiding the arguments? Changing schools is not really an option, all of them have a lot of homework here (not UK). And I can see the value in every piece of homework they give him.

I would start him on the homework straight away. if he argues, don't argue back. just say 'OK, that's fine. You can tell mrs teacher tomorrow that you haven't done it' and leave it at that. if he starts yelling that he wants to do it, say calmly 'Ok. I'm not going to make you do it. you choose'. If he feels he has a choice, maybe he will be more open to the idea of doing it?

Why can the school not manage to teach him during the school day.?

Will he be expelled if he does not do it?

We do milk and snack and do it straight away. Any argument means it goes in the bag and in the car with a note to say Dear X, insert name of child has refused to do their homework - please have my full permission to sanction as appropriate. No amount of screaming or saying they want to do I don’t back down. I have to do this once - but the school are supportive and will keep them in and work with me. There is no screen time at all for anything Monday to Friday - they have the dogs, animals (we love on a mini farm) and books and board games. We don’t have time for TV etc they can paint, draw, play games etc after their homework. When they refuse - in the car with note as above and then straight to bed 🐕😂it works here

In 2 years time the school becomes selective. Not completing homework will have an effect on that. And yes, if he consistently doesn't do his homework then he will be asked to leave earlier.

And as I said, all schools have a lot of homework. It's the way the system is here. He's not the only one complaining - other mums have the same.

I can't do it as soon as he's finished school (and after 8 hours of school I think he needs a break) because I'm at work. I can't do it with him until 7pm.

He needs to do the homework because otherwise he'll fall behind in class. The children are evaluated out of 10 at least 5/6 times a week. If he doesn't learn how to conjugate his verbs, or his times table, or his spelling, then he won't follow the lessons so well.

TV during the week is just whilst they eat dinner.

7pm is probably too late to start homework.

Is he at school in lessons for 8 hours or at school till lunch or til 3pm and then in childcare?
I think the answer is someone else (teenage babysitter or childcare with supervised homework session) does homework with him earlier.

Mine are in a similar school system but schools out at lunch time. The first year of homework is like pulling teeth but they are extremely well organised and self disciplined about it by 8 or so.

That's a lot of homework, unless it's mostly reading I would consider if this is the right amount of pressure on a 7 year old (in many countries with highly successful school systems they only start at 7). Mine had an hour a week at primary

in many countries with highly successful school systems they only start at 7

Why is this always spouted out? This isn’t how UK schools work and nor is it where OP lives so it’s irreelevant to the issue.

School can be enriching and mine were more than ready at 4.

OP is the homework desk based or can you bring some fun into it?

There’s loads of musical times table songs available, there are apps for spellings etc

Mix it up a bit and you might get better results

I live in a country where children can start school at 7 (varies by state and birthday and a few other things, but 6 or 7).

What people don't realise is that early years foundation stage wouldn't be called school here. It's just like non compulsory kindergarten really. I wouldn't count reception class as school from that perspective. I got permission to take my then 4 year old DD to a day of reception class with her English cousin, I sat in the corner and DD joined the class. Afterwards DD said it was like Kindergarten but you don't have to do as much, the teacher was nice but there wasn't a proper garden ... So I'd still say in England children start school between age 5 and 6. Really only a year earlier.

Children go from 0 to 60 very quickly when they start school at 7. They're all expected to start unable to read but be reading fluently and writing identical cursive with a fountain pen by 8. The hour of homework kicks in on day 3.

I'm trying to bring some fun into it. Conjugating verbs is tricky though.

He's in school (classes) 8.15am til 4.30pm with a 90 minute lunch break.

At 4.30pm a babysitter picks them up, takes them to the park, then home for shower and dinner. I get home at 6.50pm and do his homework with him.

Current babysitter is in no way capable of doing homework with him (and lets me down at least once a week but that's another thread!).

This is his 4th year in school. Previously it was ok, with little homework, but it's really ramped up this year.

He hates reading. And writing. So I try to avoid making him write unnecessarily. But we do have to make him read more unfortunately.

As an example, during our 2 week February half term, he had 22 A4 pages of grammar exercises, plus a poem to learn off by heart, plus some maths exercises, plus at least 5 books from a reading scheme (e.g. the level is the magic tree house and harder).

Yup, he learnt to write cursive with a fountain pen aged 6.

For some unknown reason his handwriting has really gone downhill the past few months leaving to tears of frustration and anger when doing homework.

How’s his memory and organization skills?

What country are you in? I’m intrigued. Is this Far East?

I would say it simply sounds too much for him.

My advice is this the right school for him. I don’t know if there is another option where you are.

We're in France.

Another school would be a possibility i suppose, but I have no idea if it would be better. We know and like this school. He has a fantastic teacher. But as he gets older we dont think the pressure will be good for him.

His organisation isnt great but not awful. His memory can be brilliant (learning poems off by heart - he had got full marks every other week since September) but he struggles with anything grammar related - identifying nouns, verbs, adjectives, the subject.

Have you ever let him not do it so he’s had to explain to the teacher?

Well the minister for education was supposed to address this

www.connexionfrance.com/French-news/Minister-announces-changes-to-homework

Can you do it in the morning when he's all refreshed? We do our kids homework in the morning after breakfast, then we just have to do reading with them after school which we do before bedtime.

My dd is the same age but I think he has plenty of time left in his young life to peak. We do homework if we can but not always. My kids as a result have got better results as they’ve grown older. If you have no worries on your child’s intelligence I wouldn’t bother doing it unless he wants to. Maybe not v helpful but I don’t remember having homework at primary school and now I have 2 degrees from university.

I like the suggestion by @MotherOfTheNoise about doing it in the morning. Ask him if he'd like to go to bed an hour earlier and wake up an hour earlier and do it after breakfast. Having the hard deadline of having to get it done before leaving the house may make it easier than the fluffy deadline of getting it done at some point during the afternoon or evening.

Lushmetender that's not very helpful unless you're in France. In countries with selective school systems at age 10 just deciding not to do homework will filter your child downwards, it's a luxury only those with a private "alternative" concept school available to them can indulge.

I bloody hate homework. Dts are in y3, they have to do it as soon as they walk through the door. It's the only way.

I'm tempted to put them into homework club a couple of nights a week just to reduce the stress and suck up the ££££

CielBleuEtNuages what time does he have to be at school? Perhaps doing it in the morning as MotherOfTheNoise suggests, with exactly an hour available would be a good idea?

Timers can be very helpful, and breaking tasks down (no talking or moving from your chair til the egg timer's run through, and complete as many questions/ write as much as you can, then you can get up and do star jumps/ walk about) though I'm sure you do that.

I actually found not sitting with one of my dc helped. If I sat with her she went all helpless and floppy. The best thing with her was to hand her a task, ensure she understood and walk out of the room, then return after a set amount of time and the task of doing question 1 and 2, or whatever (5-10 minutes at first). She did more with me out of the room but if I left her too long she'd be staring out of the window.

Another of my children did better if I was in the room but doing something else (cooking or something). The third did need me to watch him.

What your son needs from you might have changed. Though I still suspect it's just too late in the evening after a long day.

where abouts in france are you OP?

It’s too much homework for anyone, even a teenager. No one should be expected to have a full day at school then do a further 2.5 hours work at home. Utterly ridiculous and I say this as a teacher myself.

I mostly teach adults and I wouldn’t even expect them to spend 2.5 hours a night reading and writing!