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Original poster

Didn’t wake up to feed baby

28 replies

Idontknow777 · 25/05/2019 15:09

I s been havin a rrallly hard time. I don’t sanna go into every detail, but

I may have skipped some feeds last night. Does this happen to anyone.!
I’ve been getting four hours of Broken sleep for almost two months and it’s catching up to me, i was having heart palpitations and when I did wake up to feed, I’d start nodding off while feeding her /holding her up after. It’s really unsafe. I may have missed some feeds last night and I feel fucking horrible. She’s just been eating like every 1-2 hours around the clock and was looking for a longer stretch but I think she was crying at some point in the middle of the night and I didn’t wake up to feed. I couldn’t remember last time I fed her but it may have been four or three hours tilll I woke up at 8am and woke her up n changed n fed her...

And she’s usually up by herself but she was kinda sleepy; and also it seemed like I don’t have that much milk at the moment so I’m unsure if she even got much . I couldn’t remember if the last time I fed her was 2am;,3am, or 5am:(

Has anyone missed feeds, how bad is it

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

katmarie · 25/05/2019 15:17

How old is baby? How was she this morning when she fed? Has she had wet nappies since and is she generally a good colour and behaving normally? If shes behaving and feeding normally now I would not worry. If shes pale or lethargic or not having wet nappies then I would ring your doctor. Not sure how old baby is though, but mine started sleeping for longer stretches from about 6 weeks so would often go 5-6 hours in the night without a feed.

Also do you have any help at home? Someone who can take baby and let you get a few hours sleep?

AbbyHammond · 25/05/2019 15:21

Babies don't always wake at regular times in the night. Sleeping for 4 hours between feeds is absolutely fine.

Feed the baby lying down on a firm, clear mattress - then you don't have to worry about falling asleep holding her.

TheSheepofWallSt · 25/05/2019 15:23

When DS was a few months old, he went from feeding 4 times a night to sleeping through. I was delighted.

A week later we were back to 3-4 feeds per night, and that went on for a year, when he started reverse-cycling and was basically feeding all night until I weaned him at 2.

They have nights when they sleep for longer- I would be more worried about the fact that you seem utterly utterly exhausted- is there anyone to support you OP?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Babies & sleep Families General parenting

Original poster

Idontknow777 · 25/05/2019 15:28

She’s not tired now n had a huge pee and poo . I think she’s fine. Me not so much :/

OP posts:

SoyDora · 25/05/2019 15:30

Babies don’t always feed at regular intervals so a slightly longer gap between feeds is fine. I’m sure she would have let you know if she was hungry.

Jinglejanglefish · 25/05/2019 15:32

Does she have issues with gaining weight that mean you have to feed her every two hours on the dot? Sleeping for four hours is fine and I'm sure if she had really cried you would've woken.

TheSheepofWallSt · 25/05/2019 15:32

@Idontknow777

Can you talk about about how you’re feeling lovely? I was a breastfeeding lone parent with postnatal anxiety and recurrent mastitis... and an alcoholic ex, so completely remember the exhaustion and the worry. Is there more to this than new-baby adjustment? Hope you’re okay

Notnownotneverever · 25/05/2019 15:34

I would say if she has wee’d and pooed then the baby is fine. Go easy on yourself. Ask for help if you can? If you don’t have help in the house at the moment, could you go and stay with a friend or relative who could help you with a few night feeds so you can get a full night to make you feel better?

hidinginthenightgarden · 25/05/2019 15:34

Unless she is struggling to thrive then you don't have to feed strictly every so many hours.
Take your cue from your baby. Get some sleep!

Iggii · 25/05/2019 15:39

It sounds like she cried for a little bit and then went back to sleep. If she was really hungry I do think she’d have cried to a point where you couldn’t not have woken up. Is she day or weeks or months old?
You need some sleep though. Even if it’s during the day, you need to find a way to catch up a bit. Prioritise sleep for a while when she naps over any other activity, housework etc can wait but you need to feel better yourself.

RainbowWaffles · 25/05/2019 15:43

At two months old plus, going 3-4 hours without milk isn’t going to damage a baby. In the small hours, your milk production is at its lowest so if you missed a feed, it was the worst one in a 24 hour period so the best one to miss. Even at your six hour maximum guess, no real harm would be done other than your baby being a bit hungry (if you missed that queue), but I imagine if she was screaming the place down with hunger it would have been impossible to sleep through.

Sounds like you need a break though. Do you have someone who can look after the baby while you get some sleep? I would give some formula and stay in bed for at least one feed.

RainbowWaffles · 25/05/2019 15:44

Cue! (The shame)

redspider1 · 25/05/2019 15:48

if baby didn't wake, what is the problem . Have you been told to wake her to feed her?

wikowiko · 25/05/2019 15:50

I used to have to set alarms to feed my baby at night (doctor's orders as she started sleeping long stretches at night when she was very tiny and wasn't putting on enough weight). One night I forgot and we slept right through. I felt terrible! I had an appointment that week and confessed. Dr said "never mind, you probably needed the rest"
Got to stop with the alarms at 3 months. She slept through for a week then started waking to feed 2-3 times a night. She's 7 months now and I struggle to believe I ever had to wake her up!
If the baby needed fed she would make it clear and I'm sure you would have woken up. The rest is good for both of you!

Skinandbones · 25/05/2019 15:54

My ds was like this feeds every 2 hours, I ended up on the sofa supported by lots of pillows and made sure ds was supported too. That way if I fell asleep while feeding he was comfortable and safe. I ended up starting solids at 6 weeks by the doctor, 2 spoonfuls of milky baby rice and he crashed out for the next six hours.

crosspelican · 25/05/2019 16:03

You're doing really well and don't worry about the feed - at 2 months she could be going for 4 - 6 hours, even 8! without needing to feed, and it's no harm that you have seen now that she can wake up, grizzle a little and go back to sleep without nursing, right?

Go easy on yourself. You need sleep, and it's great that you got a slightly longer stretch last night.

Lalapurple · 25/05/2019 16:08

That's very normal. My baby is about same age and often sleeps for 4 or 5 hours at night - I deliberately don't keep exact count. It varies during day too. If you are falling asleep anyway try breastfeeding lying down with her feeding to your side- is safer than sofa and saved my sanity - lullaby trust has guidance on doing it safely. Maybe see if there is a local breastfeeding support group or so similar you can go to?

Freyasmum1 · 25/05/2019 16:14

I don't think it does them any harm to cry for a few minutes and go back to sleep in the middle of the night. With my PFB o responded to every whimper but I don't think it made any difference. With subsequent babies I've had to make an assessment as to which child needs me the most and whether they really need me at all which often they don't they can settle well by themselves. If her cries had been escalating she wouldn't have gone back to sleep.

PregnantSea · 25/05/2019 16:21

If the baby was that hungry you definitely wouldn't have slept through her crying, no matter how tired you are.

Is there anyone who could give you a hand? Even if there's no one for nights, is there someone who could pop round in the day for a few hours so you can have a bit of unbroken sleep?

TheSheepofWallSt · 25/05/2019 16:57

@Skinandbones

I’m so glad that that worked out for you, but OP don’t do that. It goes against every safe sleep guideline ever written and has ended very very badly for other mothers.

Chippychipsforme · 25/05/2019 17:53

They make sure you know if they really want you! Don't be so hard on yourself, you're doing a great job.

Freyasmum1 · 25/05/2019 19:47

There are ways to co-sleep more safely, would a side sleeper be an idea?
Please never sleep on a sofa with your baby please

Freyasmum1 · 25/05/2019 19:49

Also, unless your zonked out on booze or heavy drugs you will wake up to your baby. Even then you probably will! A lot of new mums are on heavy pain medication in hospital or whatever and still respond appropriately.

guiltynetter · 25/05/2019 19:55

@skinandbones is your child an adult now? advice has changed a lot and it's definitely not advised to give baby rice at 6 weeks and definitely NOT to sleep on the sofa. please don't follow this advice OP

surreygirl1987 · 25/05/2019 20:09

Seriously it's fine. My baby started sleeping through at 4 weeks old and my Baby Cafe said as he was so heavy that was fine. So I let him! (He doesn't sleep through anymore by the way!)

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