Dealing with a difficult 3 year old

[Elliesmommy]

I have a 3 year old son. From the minute he wakes up until the minute he falls asleep he's so difficult to deal with. He wakes early and then proceed to wake the whole house including his younger sister. He is currently sleeping with me in our bed while my his and stays in the spare bed.

He cries about which cereal he is given. He wants everything his way or he screams. He runs away from me if we are out for the day. He's constantly at his sister. I am exhausted from him.

Obviously I feel guilty for feeling this way. What am I doing wrong as a parent that he acts this way. His sister is gentle , quiet and kind. I'm at my wits end.

Is it his age ( he just turned 3 ) is it attention seeking. Is he jealous. Is it something more serious like adhd

I'm sorry OP- it is hard when they are at this age. a few suggestions:
-give him a choice between two things. eg: cheerios or weetabix? pink bowl or blue bowl?
-some people don't agree with it but if he keeps running away, you could get a backpack like this with a handle that you can hold attached to it. It makes it much less stressful if you know they can't run into the road etc.
-you could also try a grow clock. its blue when its night, and yellow when its morning. you can tell him he is only allowed to gt out of bed when the clock is yellow. it has a book to explain this concept too.

all the best x

It is an exhausting age, too old to just do what you want and too young to properly negotiate or control instincts. I often felt mine was just a bundle of boundless energy and want-want-want. And a poor sleeper. Attention seeking is totally normal toddler behaviour, it makes great sense given they’re completely dependent and learn everything from parents at that age, but boy it’s hard to deal with sometimes.

Can you get a bit of me-time regularly (partner?) to recharge? Would it help to increase physically active time to run off energy? I remember I spent a huge amount of time in playgrounds, trampoline centres etc to tire him out.

Compared to many of his class mates, he is really easy going now - no issues at school, reasonably well behaved, no-fuss bedtimes, nice friendship group, only 10 repeats till he finally tidied up or brushes his teeth :) So I think it’s probably one of those cases where different kids are hard work at different times. Hope you’re heading for a more enjoyable time of parenting soon and keep your sanity till then!

God, 3 year olds are tough. I’m struggling with my dd often at the moment. The thing that helped me is reading Toddler Calm and The Gentle Discipline book by Sarah Ockwell Smith. I’m not evangelical about her approach but I think it's grounded in good research and makes sense.

Reading her books have given me a sense of what it is to be a three year old and to manage more empathy with my daughter. When I fight her less, we fight less and it has greatly helped with her behaviour, as well as helping me A) deal with my anger at my kid when she’s being difficult and B) giving myself a break about not being a perfect parent.

HTH...hang in there

Thank you all so much for the replies. I feel a bit more at ease that maybe it's just an age thing and he will grown out of it . And thanks for the recommendations. I will be checking them out x

THis book saves my bacon on many a day, really helped to see that its them and not me which helps enormously to know the behaviour is not seem to something I am doing wrong or not doing.

bonnieharris.com/books-etc/when-your-kids-push-your-buttons/