It's a MIL one

[Beckie1987]

I'm pregnant with dd2 🙌 there will be a 22 month gap and MIL was very over the top when I was on mat leave with dd1. I want to set some boundaries this time round...

Dd1 was her first granchild she was round ALOT and unannounced

She quickly became possessive I let her mind dd1 an hour here ther then by 4months she insisted on minding her a full day once a wk. It was helpful don't get me wrong but I was so not ready but wanted to keep the peace

Then the chats started about how she didn't want me to have another baby so soon. That she wanted HER time with her and didn't want more grandchildren yet. I wanted longer with dd1 but she was very against me taking longer off wk as she was due to mind her a day a week.

I mc when dd was 9 months. I only told mil so she would stop

As I was due to go by to wk she got worse I got more anxious and trying for another baby and we ended having it all out after her telling me most people go bk to wk after 4 months. It was a big row she cried to my husband saying I took it all out of context

She now minds dd1 once a week and I'm much happier as I hardly see her and she has what she wanted but I will be off again soon....

Why are you letting her have such a say in your life? Why does she think it has anything to do with her when you go back to work! Start saying no to her and put some boundaries in place.

You could plan to keep the once a week arrangement, giving you a nice day on your own with baby? Talk to your dh about what works for you, and then let her know.

@WhiskersPete I'm not I ignored her and did what I wanted. I went back when dd1 was 1 and I'm having the baby she told me not to have

Do you want MIL to continue to have your eldest 1 day a week during your next mat leave? If you're off for 12 months your eldest would be starting preschool by the end of your next maternity leave?

It might be nice to keep your child with your mother in law once a week so you can spend some one to one time with your newborn. My mother in law never wanted to spend any time with any of mine.

My MIL is great with dd1 and they have a great relationship so if that's what she wants I'm happy with that. She is generally a nice person I just think she was selfish during my maternity and a bit manipulative as she wanted a granchild for years (she's 62)

I want to set boundaries this time in terms of how often she is round and want to approach it in a nice way. She was round about 4 times a week unannounced