Sharing custody of 2yo

[ISeeDeadDandelions]

My STBXH and I split last December. Since then he has had our DD 1 weekend night and 1 week night each week, so 2 nights per week. The issue is that I think she doesn't really feel settled as she's never in the same place for more than 3 nights. He has her every Wednesday and alternate Saturday and Sunday nights, but I can't work out a better arrangement for her to feel more settled.

The main problems are that he works full days Mon-Fri plus every Saturday morning (not negotiable), and also has another DS that he has EOW, so it's working round all of that too. The DS lives an hour away, so he has to leave work early on the Friday to pick him up, and then take him home on the Sunday. He has DD on the Saturday that he has his DS so they get to see each other too.

I think I've thought myself to distraction so just can't see a sensible way round it. Does anyone have any ideas of a more settled schedule that I could use to give her some more stability? Or does this sound ok and will just be her normal now?

Bump. Anyone?

My ex and I share parental responsibility for our child and we have separated for just about a year. We try to do three nights with one of us and four with the other and that's when schedules allow. What you are doing sounds normal to me. Kids are pretty resilient and it's not like your child is having one night with you and the next with your ex.

It's tough when you are used to having your child with you all the time but I have learned to enjoy my time without my child, and it helps that my ex and I are in a good place and keep it all friendly for my daughters sake.

Hope this helps a little

It does, thanks. I think it's just extra hard as his schedule means he can't just have her 2 nights in a row easily (unless I want to have her every weekend). I keep thinking there must be a schedule that's easier for her but I just don't think there is.

I think given his work pattern, the sat mornings are a pain. Where is his son on the sat AM when hes working?

She is only 2, she will adapt. If the relationship with Ex is amicable I would just persevere.... At the end of the day this is about her maintaining a relationship with her dad.

Do you think she feels unsettled? I think if you set the tone where you say for example, you will have a lovely time with daddy and have a sleepover then she may pick up on it as a positive thing. I'm not sure I've made sense there but hopefully you get the gist!

Cancel that don't know where I got DDs age from!!! How old is she???

Its in the title, i am not yet awake then my original post stands

Well I'd try and make it every wed and sat if possible. Just for more consistency. Or is it that he wants social time on the sat night?

Thanks all

Yes, he doesn't want to have her every Saturday night as it's his only chance for a night out or a lie-in which is fair.

She loves going so that's not an issue. She's just got particularly clingy at bedtime recently wanting whoever she is with in the room with her and coming to our beds in the night, which she never did a month or so ago, always went to sleep alone and pretty consistently slept through, so I was kind of pinning this change on feeling unsettled. I certainly don't want to take any time away from him, I love they have a great relationship, she deserves what I didn't get with my own dad!

His son goes to a club, taken by ex's parents on the Saturday mornings when he is there and ex is at work...