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Parenting

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Original poster

Holiday abroad without me

20 replies

Harryy · 23/05/2019 10:10

My 2 girls have been offered to go on holiday abroad with my brother his misses and their 2 girls.

Would you let them go? The girls really want to go but I'm just super worried.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

juneau · 23/05/2019 10:12

How old are they? Where would they be going? Do you trust your DB and his wife to take good care of them?

Seeline · 23/05/2019 10:13

How old are your DDs?
How old are their cousins?
Where are they going and what sort of holiday - beach, camping, touring etc?
How well do your DDs know their Uncle and his family?

ScatteredMama82 · 23/05/2019 10:14

Where? For how long? How old are they?

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FinallyHere · 23/05/2019 10:15

What are you worried about? Is it general anxiety or can you point to specific things?

Maybe something can be done to mitigate the risks you see

Have they spend ever the night without you before this holiday? Could they do a trial run?

They will take their cue from you. If you treat it as an adventure, how will they react? If you let your worries show?

anothernotherone · 23/05/2019 10:19

Depends on how old they are, how well they know your brother and his wife, how well they get on with their cousins, where they're going and most importantly whether your daughters actually want to go!

No if they're under 5 though.

If their teens let them decide.

Anything in between and all the factors matter.

Also why are you worried - because you're a worrier or because your brother is a careless parent/ bad driver/ won't take proper care?

Original poster

Harryy · 23/05/2019 10:19

Sorry thought I'd added their ages my girls are 12 and 8, their girls are 7 and 2.

We are a close family and I do trust them! They will be going to Spain for a week. My 8 year old daughter has epilepsy although they know how to deal with it but if anything went wrong I'm miles away!! I've also never really left my children for more than a weekend.

OP posts:

anothernotherone · 23/05/2019 10:20

*they are not their

anothernotherone · 23/05/2019 10:22

Sounds ok on the face of it. Nobody can decide for you though. It depends a lot on what sort of epilepsy and whether your 12 year old will be expected to watch the 2 year old while your 8 year old plays with their 7 year old so they can sunbathe and drink cocktails by a pool!

okuuur · 23/05/2019 10:23

Can you go too?

Seeline · 23/05/2019 10:24

I can't see an issue with the 12yo. Did she not go on a residential at the end of Primary? Has she never been to guide camp or something? If she is happy to go, fine.

I can understand your hesitation over your younger DD. Only you can judge her medical issues. If your DB knows what to do and is happy to take the responsibility, I would be tempted. How likely is it likely to be an issue? flights to Spain are very frequent if you needed to get out in a hurry, if cost /work etc could be sorted.

Sending one without the other? Tricky

Langrish · 23/05/2019 10:24

Purely because of epilepsy, I would want to go too. Can’t you?

huuskymam · 23/05/2019 10:27

If the epilepsy is controlled and the aunt/uncle know what to do during a seizure, I'd likely let them go.

Singlenotsingle · 23/05/2019 10:30

Can't you go too? Seems a bit odd that you haven't been invited. Obviously you'd have to pay for yourself.

Original poster

Harryy · 23/05/2019 10:40

Thank you maybe I'm just being a be paranoid!!

Would love to go but I can't afford to go and I've got my youngest son to care for. They are paying for the girls to go

OP posts:

PazRaz10 · 23/05/2019 10:46

You just have to trust your instincts on this.

I would let my two go at those ages, I completely and utterly trust my SIL and her DH to look after them as their own.

okuuur · 23/05/2019 10:56

How old is your youngest son? Under two and he wouldn't have to pay for flights. Any older and it would seem a bit miserable for him to wave his sisters off on holiday while he stays at home

okuuur · 23/05/2019 10:58

As an aside your girls should have never known about the possibility of going until you had made a decision

Villanellesproudmum · 23/05/2019 10:59

I find if I’ve got someone else’s child I take more care of them then my own. Sure they’ll be fine.

FinallyHere · 23/05/2019 11:15

your girls should have never known about the possibility of going until you had made a decision

^ this

Please do not use them as a sounding board. Only tell them if you decide they can go.

Why would you get their hopes up?

Likewise, if they are asking.... Even as a very young child, I knew that if I ever put my parents in a spot about an invitation I would not be allowed to go. I needed to ask them in private to allow them to decide.

ScatteredMama82 · 28/05/2019 11:49

I think this is ok then, let them go. My DS1 goes to my sister for a week each summer and then her DD comes to us for a week (they are both 10).

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