First post, help! Should I have a third?

[Swampdonk]

Firstly, apologies if this is in the wrong place, I've often read posts on here (penis beaker etc lol) but only just joined.

I'm 38, have 2 girls, age 5 and 2. Wanted a third after dd2. Convinced oh, then went off the idea the month I found out I was pregnant in January. Had a mc at 10 weeks :(

Now I can't get my head around it. Worry I wont cope with 3, being pregnant and the newborn bit again. I know life is easier with two, plus, you know the environmental impacts of having more. But I can't shake it. Nearly cry when I think about getting rid of all the baby stuff.

Am I just mental? Should I rip this plaster off once and for all and give away the baby stuff? Get on with enjoying my easy life with 2? Or will I regret not having a 3rd when I'm 40?

I've been thinking about this for months and its wreaking my head.

You know no one can answer this for you. For me the answer would be no mostly because I would have to stretch money and time between 4 children and your age the chance of having twins is much higher!

Thanks, it's just so hard to make a decision. I mean I can spend 5 minutes picking a drink at the bar.

And yep, the twins thing is real, 3 friends have had them in the last year.

I’m the same with making decision. I’m 36 and have DC 2 due soon. I was wondering previously if should maybe have 3 rather than stopping at 2 but this pregnancy was originally a twin pregnancy and I felt fear at the thought of that. A big thing for me would be change of life style.

Is it about the finality of having no more babies? the thing is we all have to deal with that at some point, you;d be the same after the next. It should be a shared decision...with your DH

My DH was very keen for a third (but he doesn't deal with the brunt of it like me)...but I didn't agree. I would have liked another baby, but not three children for years and years. Mine are 10 and 14 now and I see first hand the expense and challenges of the teen years.

IME once I stopped feeling broody (for a 4th in my case) the feeling never came back, in fact the idea of returning to the baby years started to fill me with horror! So if you're not sure now I don't think you'll regret it in a couple of years.

I felt broody for about 6 months after my second, something I never felt with my first lol, she was a beast baby! Since then the feeling has come and gone, I think also the miscarriage has thrown me as obviously I got used to the idea of another, but that went out the window at 10 weeks. I had tried not to get ahead of myself etc, I'm a realist but 2 days before the mc I'd been looking up mat leave as I've had a new job in the last year. So I had started to plan.

I think I'd be definitely done with 3, I've never contemplated 4 ever!

To be honest it's nice to air this somewhere as I don't want to tell everyone, I didn't tell my family about the last pregnancy/mc.