I have no idea how to parent my children!

[BickBock]

DS is getting to the age where he’s into everything - touching the plugs, climbing the bookshelf, putting his toys in the washing machine/bin/toilet... and I have no idea how to teach him not to. If I tell him no and move him away, he thinks it’s funny and repeats the behaviour, so I tell him again and so on. It’s like it becomes a game to him, until I then get annoyed and end up shouting and he cries (or has a tantrum and throws himself around on the floor )

How do I learn how to teach my child?!

You've got this! Just keep doing what you are doing...and repeat.

"I tell him no and move him away"
This is the bit I meant you repeat.

Distraction works too..and bribes (I might be a bad parent tho )

Unfortunately, it’s simply a matter of ENDLESS repetition at this stage. So long as you are setting those boundaries in a loving way, then you’re doing ok.

Would a parenting course help boost your confidence? There are several different types that use different styles of parenting. You may find it useful.

Distraction every time. And some immediate positive attention from you, get them doing something else, ideally in another room.

Otherwise they learn that doing the naughty thing gets them the attention they crave, even if it is scolding.

Once they're a bit older it is easier because you can explain why they shouldn't be putting jam on the cat, or whatever.

I get this with my 2.5 year old. She laughs thinking it's a game. I just have to pick up and move her it's so annoying 😫

No and distract/remove. And repeat,and repeat ,and repeat.
Try and decide what things are NOT the end of the world or ok if he does them with supervision. For example DD had a drawer with tupperware,plastic bowls cups plates etc that she was free to roam in,take them out,chuck around to he Hearts's content. It was definitely more fun than all the other ones.

Keeping your kid alive against their wishes and best efforts makes you a good mum.

Fr3d love it!

Good to know that repetition is what’s needed, however frustrating that can be! I of course try to keep him alive in a loving way, but it can be so difficult not letting that frustration show. Must try to use distraction more as well.

Bubblysqueak that’s a good suggestion, thanks. A friend went on a course at the local children’s centre a while ago, I’ll see if there are any others planned.

My advice would be to tell him "no, don't do that because .......". If he understands WHY you don't want him to do something, that's how you teach a child. Please don't shout until he cries - that is not good parenting. Sorry. As others have said, repetition, repetition, repetition!

Loads of exercise outside helps. Then they are a little less curious indoors for a few minutes at least.

And use those guard plug things, then it just doesn’t matter if he goes near plugs, he can’t hurt himself.

But yes, remove, explain, repeat. And distract if it works, one of mine went back to the original thing the moment I stopped distracting, which ruled out that option.

Please don't shout until he cries - that is not good parenting.

I know without trying to “justify” it, he cries as soon as I raise my voice just once - he doesn’t like being told off! It’s not like I’m yelling repeatedly at him.

one of mine went back to the original thing the moment I stopped distracting

I think DS is likely to do this too! Removing him to a different room is also not likely to be effective now he can open the doors.

Are those plug guard things safe? I’d read that they are actually dangerous?

Do not use plug socket covers!! They turn a very safe plug into a death trap. It’s insane they’re still being sold.

www.fatallyflawed.org.uk/

My son loves the word “no” so he thinks it’s a game when I keep saying it. He just smiles and carries on doing the dangerous thing I told him not to do, even if he got hurt the last time. I have slightly more success when I say “Don’t do that because...” The only thing that really works is moving him away and distracting him.

I’d never heard that plug socket covers were dangerous!

Also let him have some consequences. If he's not in danger of being seriously hurt,damaging something expensive then let him do it after you've said "no,because..." and let him deal with the consequences.

Toy in the bin? Fine, now It's gone and not replaced.

Instead of saying "no, don't do... " Say "come and do ... with me, thank you" I swear they don't hear the "no, don't" part and only hear the "put it down the toilet" part 😆

MustardScreams thank you!

I swear they don't hear the "no, don't" part and only hear the "put it down the toilet" part

Yes, I think you’re right!

I found a parenting course run by our local council, suggested to DH that I might like to go on it but he just pulled this face and said I don’t need to.

It may simply be a question of revising your time scale. You don't seem to mention his age, but if he is 2 it is unlikely that any teaching of yours will have a permanent or reliable effect at the first few attempts.

What you are aiming at is a gradual realisation a) that mummy doesn't want me to do this b) that there is no point in keeping on trying to do something mummy doesn't want me to do because she's going to stop it. Distraction or, if that is not working, simply lifting them away+, taking the thing away from them. This may take time: some children are very determined. But as long as you keep them alive, damage to other people's property to a minimum and end up with an older child more or less who knows how to behave- you have not failed.

My eldest was the hardest: had to be watched like a hawk. But grew up into a well-mannered child who was never in trouble at school.

My mantra used to be "child-rearing is work in progress".

If he's having a tantrum because he's cross you stopped him doing X stupid thing then you just let him get on with it - it's normal for him to be frustrated that you've stopped all the fun he was having with the toilet/socket whatever. I think having a slightly thick skin in relation to this type of tantrum is essential as a parent. It took me a while with my first to recognise when he was crying because he was hurt/upset and when he was crying because he was cross/frustrated.