Move house for Primary School.

[Flamingo2019]

Would you move for a better Primary School?

My husband and I are just in two minds about this. We had unhappy Childhoods at school, both bullied and never made long lasting friends. We have two preschool boys.

We rent together a beautiful house in a nice but run down town, if it was in a more desirable town then it would cost a lot more for the space we have ( though tiny tiny garden. We have the option to move with minimal cost / hassle because we rent, though it’s still exhausting moving. The primary schools are just pulling themselves out of special measures and into good and doing a bloody great job at it. We live in the middle of town We’ve visited 4 local schools from 77, 120, 300, 400 pupils. Only the larger are actually practical to get to all and there are another 4 or so locally available. Nothing is oversubscribed in our area there’s only one school I like, it’s in an area with a lot of poverty ( I’m from a single parent home so I know poverty too)- the police where even at the school when we visited, however it was a passionate, friendly school with great facilities and nice teaching style. However socially we don’t fit in with the demographic that well in the town as a whole( we’ve lived here for almost two years and have been to all the kids groups). The area struggles from a lot of families really letting their kids down, from arriving at school not potty trained and being academically unsupported, the majority are way behind their peers- the schools at primary are turning that around. But we have a bright kid.

We have the option to move to a house with off street parking, a big wrap around enclosed garden, direct access to country walks, cycle path and a consistently outstanding school, that’s actually a showcase school, 200 m away. it has everything you would ever want to have for your child and does well with bright kids.

Am I silly to move, I want the very best for my child/ten though I know that’s not always the very best school. We’ve struggled without a garden and always having to be strict about scootering/running/walking in the street to the park, so my big boy can never really let loose and run y’know run and play. I know one school will be good enough locally, but I’m worried he’ll be left with kids that socially and educationally are very far behind initially- which isn’t really a first school experience I’d want to give him and may cause problems for him even down to making friends.

I feel bad thinking that things ‘aren’t good enough’ here ( though know some wouldn’t even question it). Should I swap a big house with a tiny garden from in a town with lots of practical shops to a village house, 15 minutes from town, with an exceptional school. I want him to be excited by learning and not be picked on for being bright, or get into trouble for being bored and fail to make friends ( not of which I can control)... but obviously I’m just confused and don’t know what is the best decision.

Meant 200 meters up the road ( not miles)!!!

We did. We were in a village but a more affluent area. School were really unsupportive, I have two children with additional needs and they were dire. We decided to move, we had a large area we could move into but school was our number one priority. We ended up moving much closer to where I grew up, in fact my kids now attend the same school I did. The area is poorer I guess, but it's been the best move ever for my children. If we were renting we would had more options but in the end this worked out better for us.

Mummyhaschangedhername - I feel you have to do the best for your child’s needs, and like you’ve experienced, often the ‘better’ schools are rubbish for additional needs and so on. We would love two rooms worth of space if we move... which seems a silly catch but then I have to be practical

Honestly, nearly everyone I know has done this, or taken it into consideration when they bought. We’ve lived here for 5 years, it’s quite a boring area, and we paid £100k more than a house a mile away would cost, but we did it for the primary school and the relief when we got in was immense

Perhaps but I'm concerned by your remark that you don't fit in socially - you are implying everyone in the twin is beneath you and unfortunately that attitude is likely to follow you wherever you live - in a village you could find that it's you who is considered not good enough (we found village living very cliquey we left pretty sharpish)

Stucknoe not implying beneath me at all but people don’t really cross socialise, I have met nice people but they are busy with work and more kids. Me and my old friends are lucky if we meet twice a month. Some people don’t have similar interests and then if you have kids it’s harder to make time.

We have the option to move to a house with off street parking, a big wrap around enclosed garden, direct access to country walks, cycle path and a consistently outstanding school, that’s actually a showcase school, 200 m away. it has everything you would ever want to have for your child and does well with bright kids.

This is what you're proposing to move to? I don't understand what your reservations are. It sounds great. Am I missing the point?

closet librarian - probably didn’t articulate very well. We lose two rooms worth of space, in every other way ideal. It’s just good school, big, house &tiny garden in a town, or small house, big garden, excellent school in a village. I can tell wether I’m overthinking, stuff that most parents would just ‘do’ for the best of child, or wether I should just stay where we are. The social stuff for me is more that there isn’t anyone to leave behind anyway so it’s less about my socialising.

Me too Closet, I'm not seeing the problem. You're proposing to move to a better house near a better school, what's the issue?

Indubiousbattle probably just me and a smaller house 😭😂😞

What's the village like? Is it actually any better than the town, in terms of social demographic?

In what ways is the school 'excellent'? Have you visited it? What was the vibe? I'm always put off by a school that has Ofsted Outstanding, for example. a) because they probably haven't been inspected for years and years and b) because to get Outstanding you have to be good at things that are often nothing to do with educating children well (e.g. form filling, box ticking, etc). c

What rooms are you sacrificing and what do they mean to you? Do you really take advantage of being in town? Do you both drive?

Village is really lovely, there’s a bus every 15 minutes to city. I don’t drive, but It has a shop, pub, post office & take away. School is 400 big. I guess having two kids it just seems crazy to go for less space when most would be desperate for big. I feel the same as above poster about ‘outstanding’ schools, can be quite toxic and a lot of pressure. Yes we have visited, it’s a very happy school, that where statistically all children do very well, they have a Forest school, allotment and do lots of creative stuff, dance and drama and theatre. They offer about 40 in school clubs.... so in every sense perfect.. I spent to much much in town- waking round every day!- but I do take advantage as it’s very very practically and you can get most things you need.

how much smaller is the house? How much space are you actually losing?

Unless you really need those extra rooms, I'd say move. It doesn't sound like you'll be leaving much behind in the way if friendships etc, but will be gaining a lot. I seriously doubt you'd ever regret it!

Our news school actually has much better ratings anyway, but I don't take massive stock in ratings. It does have lower exam success though, however, if compare with the results coming into the school they have an incredible "value added"/increase, so I think that's where you have a reflection of the poorer area.

We will lose a big third bedroom, which we store stuff in, most of furniture we’ll have to change and a lot of decluttering and a second reception room. Borne new bedrooms are small doubles.