3 year old out of control

[Motherofdragonss]

Hi,
Just looking for a hand hold please and a bit of advice.
My little boy who is 3 has always been a goodish kid. The terrible twos weren’t as bad as I thought they would be and I actually felt proud of the little man he was becoming especially as I get no help and his dad isn’t around.
Then he turned 3 in January and it’s like he has been possessed by the devil. He hits me, bites, nips, has tantrums, is cheeky, you name it he has done it.
I’ve took his toys off him and put them in a place he can see, ive used the naughty step, a rewards jar, I’ve taken him out of the situation if we are out somewhere and brought him home. NOTHING is working.

I’m really just after some advice at what to do next or if anyone has gone through the same. I dread getting up on a morning as I know it’s going to be a constant battle and I just don’t know what to do anymore 😭 I feel like a failure especially when I am dreading him getting up on a morning.
Any help would be massively appreciated.
Thankyou x

I’m sorry I don’t have any advice but just to say you’re not alone. My 2.5 year old has recently turned really terrible and it’s so draining.

I don’t wish it on anyone but I’m glad I’m not alone. Lots of live XX

Hi, I could have written this about my son. He started this never ending nightmare behaviour and attitude at 2 years 5 months and only improved at 3 years 3 months when he started nursery in the mornings. I put it down to being bored and needing the extra stimulation of school. I honestly feel like I nearly lost my sanity over it. He was nasty, stroppy, impossible to be with in public, he fought EVERY LITTLE THING eg, getting up, getting dressed, brushing teeth, coming downstairs, eating breakfast, putting shoes on... the list was never ending. When I ignored his bad behaviour he just started doing dangerous or really nasty things so I’d have to respond and honestly I think I cried several times a day every day through that phase so I really know where you’re coming from :(. I woke up with a sense of dread for the day to come. Could have cried with just the thought of another day of 3 million strops, scenes and tears. What cracked it in the end for me was finding something he didn’t like (being taken upstairs to his room for timeouts) and following through with the threat of tinesouts every single time he did a nasty behaviour. It was blumin exhausting for the first few days and my back killed from heaving him upstairs every 20 minutes but he finally got the message that I wasn’t taking the behaviour anymore. It’s a real faff on and inconvenience because they always seem to kick off when you need to go out or do something but it did work in the end. And as I say he became a different child when he started mornings at school and I think it’s because he’s getting routine and discipline there as well. He still has his moments/ days but on the whole he’s a lot better. Not much help I’m sorry but just wanted to say it will end it’s jusy managing to stay sane til it does that’s the hard part!

Thankyou for the advice! I’m gonna take everything on board.
I’ve just picked him up from nursery and took to one side, apparently his behaviour has been atrocious today. Which apparently is so out of character for him..ha.
I feel like giving up and putting him in the bun x

Hahaha would make it easier wouldn’t it! Nursery and my sons paid for childcare always give him glowing reports to and I think whose child are you talking about because it can’t be mine!!! X

Sadly it’s part of parenting.
Nobody ever promised you it would be easy. But at 3 you can sit him on the bottom step (or anywhere away from you where he is safe) for three minutes reflection (it used to be called time out and before that the naughty step.
Try “if you eat all your breakfast (or whatever you’re having issues with) and we will go to the park/feed the ducks” etc.
Make sure you always follow through, so if you do put him on reflection for 3 minutes make sure you keep him on the step for three minutes, the same for rewards, if you promise a trip to the park, do it!
Kind but firm now and by this time next year and he will be lovely again (hopefully)
Best of luck.

I don't really have any magic answers but I do feel your pain. You just have to carry kn being firm, staying calm and being consistent. It sucks and it feels like its not working but it does eventually.
I gave some ground over to my DD totally - she picks her outfits now. She looks ridiculous? Thats fine, shes a preschooler who cares?! Insists on shorts but its cold, I point out its cold suggest leggings would be better.....we usually end up with shorts over leggings in totally clashing styles but shes happy and dressed. Win.
Violence - straight in time out. No negotiations. No reactions.
When they do behave nicely, reinforce how nice it is and happy it makes you.
If im getting demands and screams and shouts - I cant help you right now, perhaps when you can talk to me nicely - and carry on. Its tough and I promise you I have sobbed and wondered where Ive gone wrong, what else can I do, actively disliked her in some moments even but it does pass.

You're not alone. My DS (now 3.5) isn't quite as bad but like yours he went from being this easy, happy 2 year old to seemingly changing overnight when he got near to 3. I've also been taken aside at nursery pick ups to say he's not been listening or has pushed another kid etc and how it was out of character from the placid child they knew before Christmas!

Agree with pp, stay calm (when I get cross it makes it a million times worse) and stick rigidly to anything you try, punishments/rewards etc. My son is getting better now, hopefully. We use the time out step for violence/aggression and in fairness it always tends to be short lived. We also ignore a lot of "silly" behaviour eg whining, saying "mummy you're poo poo" (yes this is my life) etc. Getting dressed in the morning was a battle, so we started a sticker chart and it really worked, he gets dressed no fuss 99% of the time now, so I think just stick to your routines/be consistent.

And good luck.

Oh also natural consequences works well. So say your DS throws a toy, take that toy away. Say he hits another kid at softplay, leave softplay. Throws his tea in the floor - fine no tea. You get the idea!

Choose a method that you are happy with and stick to it, it sounds like you're chopping and changing. You need to be consistent and that way hell know the boundaries.

3 is hard, I remember it well