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Parenting

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Original poster

I'm feel so depressed

14 replies

Bekbot · 22/05/2019 03:16

Baby is three months old. First child. Had so many visitors, had so many friends round. Now that has all stopped. I feel like I can't cope with baby... I hate when my husband is at work.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

trulep · 22/05/2019 03:30

This is what usually happens
Maybe try to go to baby groups.
I was similar but a single parent and absolutely no support and no visitors so it was constant not just when my husband went to work

memaymamo · 22/05/2019 04:13

It is such a difficult time. I really don't believe we were meant to do this alone. It's very very hard if you don't have a community around you whom you can call on for support.

Is there a group in your area you can join? Churches sometimes have mother and baby groups too. Or a library storytime where you can take baby and just get out and about.

If you have Netflix, The Letdown really resonated with me, as a real look at how it can feel to have a young baby.

If you feel very desperate please do talk to a doctor in case you have PND.

Big hug.. it will likely get a lot better but this stage is very hard.

Original poster

Bekbot · 22/05/2019 04:30

Thank you both for the advice. Netflix is a good option. The trouble is that I'm close to family now but in September I'm moving a bit away from family to a bigger place. I'll have to make sure I get stuck into stuff in my area ASAP.

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Interested in this thread?

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Chippychipsforme · 22/05/2019 09:54

Agree with others. I went to a couple of baby classes per week as it gave me a chance to get out and at least I could focus on the activity if there wasn't anyone to chat to.

littlemeitslyn · 22/05/2019 11:10

Single parent with a husband?????

trulep · 22/05/2019 11:59

@littlemeitslyn I was quoting the OP

BlueMerchant · 22/05/2019 12:12

I felt the same. OH at work 12 hour shifts and I was at home, unable to drive and quite secluded, with baby and a few months later toddler and new baby.
Friends and family rarely visited when the novelty of new baby wore off and I found myself in utter misery clock-watching until my OH returned home so I didn't feel so ,'alone'. Anxiety was dreadful.
What really helped dig me out of my gloom was biting the bullet and getting out and about with the local sure start. Going to events, organised trips to seaside in summer etc. I understand your baby is still very young but it will help you lots to go out and chat to other mum's and will hopefully act as a pick-up me -up.
I also spoke to my HV and she helped me arrange a few hours in a private nursery for my DS and DD so that I could get myself back on track. I felt guilty at the time but it was definitely best for my DC and myself.
I

Original poster

Bekbot · 22/05/2019 13:00

I'm married...

OP posts:

Original poster

Bekbot · 22/05/2019 13:00

Thank you BlueMerchant

OP posts:

freshasthebrightbluesky · 22/05/2019 13:11

The isolation was the killer for me too op, especially when I had 2 under 2. It felt like the whole world was at work! I used to spend a lot of time in cages so that a) I didn't have to cook or clean up afterwards and b) I felt like I was at least among people even if I wasn't talking to them.

I tried baby and toddler groups but hated them so stopped going. I did however do trips out and away with the dc, e.g. to the beach/park/nt place etc so I wasn't staring at the same 4 walls every day.

I took up a hobby (photography) that I could do alongside looking after the dc and meant I could go out 1x evening a week to a club and met people who I could talk to about things other than children and that made me feel less "mum" and more "human". Since then I've developed and expanded on that hobby and have now entered and won a few competitions.

Herocomplex · 22/05/2019 13:12

It’s really miserable when you feel like that, did you work before you had your child? Losing your previous life in hard, you can feel bereft and lonely. Everyone says babies are lovely but I felt bored, tired and sad quite often. There are things you can do to feel better, getting out and about, trying to get a bit of time for yourself away from the baby, and talking to someone who understands how you feel. It does pass.

freshasthebrightbluesky · 22/05/2019 13:12

Spent a lot of time in cages cafes although I did often feel like I was in a cage!

Original poster

Bekbot · 22/05/2019 14:32

Thanks so much guys, it's great to know I'm not alone. Thank you. I'll try and get out as much as possible

OP posts:

HarryHarry · 22/05/2019 17:48

I was the same. I live outside the UK with no friends or family here AND I don’t speak the local language. It was very tough until I forced myself to start going to baby groups and classes that welcomed people with babies. Now I have precisely 3 friends but it’s something! Breaking up the isolation even once or twice a week really helps.

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