Just screamed at my 11 month old

[Winnietp]

Name changed as I feel so ashamed and guilty.

She just cries so much, I feel like we’re still at the newborn stage trying to guess what’s wrong with her. Surely I should know what’s wrong with her by now? I’ve made another doctors appointment but I doubt they will be any use.

We were just doing a nappy change- which she hates (like most things). She screamed and rolled poo everywhere, over me, over the carpet. She’s been whining all morning. I screamed at her and swore. I’ve literally never shouted so loud.

I am a calm, very patient, reasonably educated person but I feel like this is wearing me down. I’m a good Mum most of the time, I adore her. She’s just so full on and difficult. We sometimes get a few weeks where things are great- goes down for naps easy, minimal crying (I can deal with her being hyperactive). Then it’s back to every day being a battle. I go back to work soon and I’m not sure I can deal with the stress.

Am I the only one?

I'll admit I've sworn at and yelled at my 4 month old. It's something I never thought I would do. But they bring out so many emotions in you. Don't feel bad.

How's her speech and communication coming along? Could it be she's working herself up more because she's struggling to communicate what she wants and then getting frustrated? If so, a friend of mine took her child to toddler sign language and said it helped loads as they could sign for basic things they wanted long before they could talk and apparently reduced tantrums. Just an idea, i hope others who have children past this age can advise. Keep going,as I was told, remember they're lovely most of the time

Oh yes, that will definitely happen.
Give yourself a break. This parenting malarkey is hard.

That'll happen to be honest, it's incredibly stressful. I found going back to work amazing because I needed it for myself and then love balancing that with being a mum. Stay at home mum wouldn't have worked for me.

Oh whingy days I lose my patience and I always have massive guilt afterwards. But it’s just part of it and it’s not real life to just be amazingly happy all the time and have amazing bonding times all day long.

The poo thing....happened to me. My DC never like nappy changes and it drives me nuts. I used to be patient but now they are older I do get cross and tell them!

I’ve done this too. I find whinging so hard to deal with when it is constant it just so stressful and on the odd occasion I have lost it too and shouted. Docs sounds like a good idea to see if there is something underlying causing it. For what it’s worth I found that age quite hard too. I think DS1 was getting frustrated not being able to communicate and not being able to walk so got really whingy. It didn’t last though so hopefully things will be better soonZ

Thanks everyone. I’m usually so patient. I can take a lot of screaming/ whining as she’s always been this way but getting her changed is sending me over the edge. I lost control and she actually started doing her scared cry which devastated me tbh. I will learn from this and in future will just walk away for a minute.

She’s meeting milestones well. Crawling at about 6 months and taking steps at 10 months. She’s just so active, it’s great she wants to explore but we just can’t go anywhere because she won’t sit still in the pram/ car (unless tired).

She seems so much more work than others her age.

I’d love to do baby sign as it would be great to know what’s wrong with her but I think it would be too stressful getting her to a class! Definitely going to YouTube it though.

Mixed emotions going back to work- I’m worried nursery won’t be able to take care of her and she’ll be miserable. We’ve been doing half days and most of them have been bad.

Let yourself off the hook. You had shit on you. Calling it poo when it's on you doesn't quite cover how grossed out you feel. Your allowed to loose your cool if your covered in shit.

Re nappy changes. Lie her on the floor Inbetween your feet. Put a foot on each shoulder gently but firmly. She won't be able to go anywhere.

Put some (get some) ear defenders on yourself when the noise is getting on your nerves.

Forgive yourself, this will pass. It must be shit being that age when your brain is outrunning your body.

You can do baby signing by making up your own signs, as long as you use them consistently. We only have a handful - food, drink, change, and more. They work really well. Once I taught him the “change” sign, he stayed still for long enough for me to change him. I still put him on the changing table though (even though he’s too big for it) just in case he rolls poo all over the carpet!

I think every parent has had that moment or hundreds of those moments just take a deep breath and try to forgive yourself. Next time walk away for a minute. My mum used to leave my brother screaming in the house and walk around the block for a break!