To breastfeed or not to breastfeed

[MUMTOBE7]

Hi im 36 weeks pregnant and have being dead set on not Breastfeeding as i have tiny nipple which is going to make it more difficult and the thought makes me shudder also my fella is not fond on the idea, but recently i have being questioning my decision and in stuck any advice

I don't care how you feed your baby, but I admit that I get irritated by the dad "bonding" excuse with FF. I just don't buy it. A dad can bond with their baby in other ways. Just close physical contact is enough. A bottle doesn't have to be the only way.

I don't care how you feed your baby, but I admit that I get irritated by the dad "bonding" excuse with FF. I just don't buy it. A dad can bond with their baby in other ways. Just close physical contact is enough. A bottle doesn't have to be the only way.

Agree with this. Funny how dads (and grandparents too) think the only way to bond is to feed a bottle. Wiping a smelly arse is also a way to bond but I don't see anyone queuing up to take that responsibility off mum. Yet the the one thing only mum can do - if she chooses to BF - is what they fixate on.

“My partner supports what i want to do he just gets a bit weirded out by it just like i do”

Hmm. Maybe you both need to grow up a little bit?

Wiping a smelly arse is also a way to bond but I don't see anyone queuing up to take that responsibility off mum

Don't they cover breastfeeding at ant-natal classes these days? OP, are you going to ante-natal classes?

Definitely give it a go. I didn't and was dead set on ff (which I did) but now 2 years later I painfully regret not even giving it a try.

It's touch, not food per se, that is bonding for babies. I'm not denying that it's easier to have a lot of contact with a baby if you're giving it a bottle, but it's not impossible to be 'hands on' for the father of a breastfed baby. Baths, nappy changes, just cuddling up (especially skin-to-skin).

Always worth pointing out that a bf baby’s poo doesn’t really smell so if the OP’s partner is likely to be “wiered our” by nappies too then bf will give him no excuse...

I've been in our local maternity unit today and the figures say 66% of their mothers last month were breastfeeding so hopefully you'll have loads of support if you do decide to.

I think you can feel 'weirded out' before and yet when it's you and you start feeding yourself it's not weird. Your hormones kick in and it feels appropriate and 'natural' for what of a better word. It's like having a poo in labour, you can't imagine you'll ever do it. When you actually do it, you couldn't care less. Your body is in a different zone.
It's so so much better for a baby and mum. We know it protects women from breast cancer for eg. I know a hundred people will come on and say they have strapping 6 footers who've never been sick a day in their lives and have had formula since day 1 but all medical evidence says that breast milk is better. I think we don't even know all the benefits yet. I think it's worth having a go and then no regrets.

Definitely give it a go.

I’m on week 15 and it’s so much easier than formula. I FF my daughter and am BF my son, BF is easier and cheaper and so much less faff.

I exclusively bf both of my DSs and when I think back it does seem a bit weird, but at the time felt totally natural.

It was a bit painful at the start and you need to be prepared for it to feel like you are feeding all the time to begin with but it does settle down and then you'll wonder why anyone would choose the expense and faff of bottle feeding.

One of the big benefits I think is that if you co-sleep you can feed the baby without them really fully waking up which is so much less stressful for both of you, plus a baby that is not fully awake don't seem to poo, so no night time nappy changes!

I agree with posters who have been saying nipple size doesn't matter and that it's worth a try (although I respect all ways of feeding a baby).

I'm breastfeeding my 9 month old and I'm really enjoying it but the first 2 weeks were awful - it was all about stamina, perseverance and technique. If you can push through the tricky initial stage (and then again through cluster feeding!) it does get much, much easier and then you can reap all the benefits (health, convenience, free, no preparation etc etc). I appreciate everyone is different, that's just my own personal experience.

I couldn't have got through the early weeks without the research and preparation I'd done while pregnant and without the support of my fiancé who spent the first couple of weeks doing stuff like making me food, bringing me water and painkillers, preparing piping hot flannels to have over my boob just before a breastfeed etc etc. If you want to go down the breastfeeding road, it may be worth trying to get your partner on board so he can support you. Again not essential and I'm sure there are plenty of women out there who establish feeding with zero support, I'm just drawing on my own personal experience.

Do what feels right for you and good luck with everything

I definitely wanted give it a go, did end up with nipple shields but once I was sorted it was brilliant

No faffing, sterilising, formula shopping, carrying stuff about or having to get up in the night - just plonked them on and went back to sleep much more easily

Bear in mind direct feeding is usually much easier that expressing but you are doing the right thing keeping an open mind and just seeing how you go

All the best with the birth

BertrandRussell

“My partner supports what i want to do he just gets a bit weirded out by it just like i do”

Hmm. Maybe you both need to grow up a little bit? This is out of order im on here to get help as i feel uncomfortable with the idea and have never had a baby before and my partner will help as much as he can with feeds and changing ect i never said he wasnt going to any off that, think if your going to be so judgemental and negative you should keep your thoughts to yourself thanks

Im going to give it a try as would regret not trying breast i just wanted some advice on what other mums thought about breast feeding its nice to know im mot on my own here

Sorry, MUMTOBE- but “feeling a bit uncomfortable” is one thing. “i do my friend breastfeeds her 5month old and i can bare to see it ” is quite another.

I cant help how it makes me feel and i have spoken to my friend about this just because you don't mind does not everyone else feels the same just think your being rather abit rude if you read all my posts im trying to be open minded and try whats best for baby

Not on here to have a debate was just wanting advice off other mums so if you just going to pull comments you dont agree with and not be helpfull at all please dont comment

Absolutely no harm in you just giving it a try I would say. The colostrum you produce at the start is full of antibodies. The midwife told me it's like their first vaccinations. So even if you only did it for the first couple of days it's great baby has had some. Also no harm in mix feeding so both breast and formula if you find it too hard. Maybe if you don't like the idea of breastfeeding you could buy a breast pump and feed your baby the milk in a bottle.
I do agree a supportive partner makes a massive difference. My DH was excellent he remember more from the bf group than me. If your partners not supportive I agree it will make it harder.

OP, I agree that when you are feeding your baby yourself it does tend to change your views. I suspect that most of us on here have breast fed, but I admit that before I got pregnant I was ambivalent about it. I think once you have successfully breastfed your baby it can make one rather evangelical about it.

I found it hard to start with as DD just wasn't interested in feeding. It doesn't make sense that something so natural is so difficult for so many women, but once I had DD I was determined to give it a good try.

As everyone else has said, at least give it a try, and please ask for help if you need it. But don't beat yourself up if it doesn't work out.

I totally understand what you mean about feeling weird about it, but I have to say it somehow becomes totally normal when it's you and your baby.

There is no harm in trying and seeing how you and your LO get on with it. But also; if you decide (for whatever reason) to move to formula don't feel bad about it.

Lots of people will say "breast is best"...but honestly - a fed baby and sane mummy is best.

Good luck

Thank’you everyones input has really helped me be more open minded about breastfeeding

I didn't breast feed. I didn't want to. I did my research and weighed up the pros and cons. I have no regrets. I have a healthy active 1 yo. I got bottles and prep machine however he had tongue tie and ended up having to try a few bottle brands to fit him, even after the tongue snip but all good.

I understand what you mean. Inever really liked the thought of breast feeding, and now I’m not at that stage anymore I don’t really like the thought of it again!

But I think when it’s your baby and your hormones etc it does feel normal. It is hard work at the start, but I breast fed both my kids and it is much more convenient than bottles. Mix feeding worked well for us personally. Majority breast fed with one or 2 bottles of formula per day

Look around your local area for breastfeeding groups- sometimes called breastfeeding cafes. If you do decide you want to try then going along to these groups will help you feel normal and supported.