I don't know how to work out pocket money for 11yo ... please help?

[GardenFullofWeedsandKids]

How much money per week do you give your 11yo?

I can't work out what's too much or not enough. I could probably stretch to £10 a week max. I already pay £6 per month for her sim contract. I buy her all her necessities and pay for her drama class. She has started asking for more clothes and shoes (that she wants not that she needs) and wants to buy sweets each day walking to the bus stop after school with her friends. I give her a set amount of money on the odd time she goes to the cinema with her friends (to cover ticket price and a sweet/drink) but these invitations are becoming more frequent and she's asking for more which isn't affordable. I'd expect her to start contributing her own money towards these things if they become more than twice per month.

She tends to be a lazy child and I do pretty much everything in the house (she's in charge of keeping her own room tidy which she has to also sweep and polish once a week). She doesn't volunteer to help and groans when I ask her to. I'd like her to do more around the house but have read mixed opinions on here about associating chores with pocket money.

Can anyone share opinions on how you calculate pocket money for this age (and does it increase when she starts high school in a few months and then increase each time she ages up?).

Thanks!

£10 a week for an 11 year old sounds an awful lot. (Maybe I am old fashioned!) I know you say you think that she should contribute her own money to her social life, but does she have the budgeting skills to save it up for activities like that? Or is it likely to end in tears when she can't go because she can't afford it?

I would be asking her to contribute more to running the house - lay the table, empty dishwasher, fold the laundry etc anyway, and I would give her £5 a week. I would be so disappointed if DD spent it on sweets at the bus stop every day though, so I'd probably encourage her to spend 1/3 and save 2/3.

We give £6 a week. We also pay for her phone and other bits. This goes up every year by 50p, also she'll get money for birthday and Christmas

I started at about £4 a week at 11, together with a Halifax bank account and debit card. I could then up it every year or som by a £1 a week. Tbf dd1 is 15 now and gets only £6 a week. Its been great, because I will buy the things they need and some of the things they want (so I can treat them when I like), but if I don’t want to buy it, I know they have the choice (great for budgeting because they are far less keen to spend their own money and tend to have over £100 birthday/christmas/ pocket money in their account, so it is helping them learn to manage their money. Equally if they want a flash phone, i will contribute £60 every few years, or as part of a birthday present, but I won’t ‘buy’ a posh phone, so they have learnt to evaluate how important it is to them. Dd2 went through a phase of buying treats on the way home from school at 11 but then realised all her money was going on it and it was unhealthy and has stopped now.

I think you do what works for you and what you can afford. My son gets £50 a month into his bank account, his phone contract paid (£10 a month) and I give him 'emergency' money which he keeps in his school bag/blazer and I keep topped up to about £5. He often buys a drink on the way home from school as this clearly constitutes an emergency 🙈
I buy what he needs, so uniform and basic clothing/underwear/shoes. He buys what he wants.

depends on a) what you can afford and b) what dc is expected to buy with it
ours get a tenner a month
we buy everything they need and they have a bus pass so don't need extra to meet up with friends.

My ds 12 gets £3 a week and has to do odd jobs about the house for that! He’ll hoover, empty the dishwasher, clear up after dinner etc.
I buy all his essentials obviously and also some things he wants - new trainers recently. I also pay for cinema trips etc and will give him a bit extra if he’s going out with friends.

Thanks, everyone. Interesting to see how variable. I wonder if i go with £5 per week but also keep £5 per week by for social events as they arise (cinema, fun fair etc) and for the odd treat. I just don't like the idea of handing her over money each week when she barely lifts a finger around the house. I need to start seeing it as two different issues. I'm sure she'll start helping out when she realises she has no clean clothes, fluff sticks to her feet when she walks on an unswept floor, her tummy gurgles because she doesn't help with dinner. I'll tell her this is what's going to happen from now and sit her down to go over what she feels she can help with each week.

Depends a bit on what you can afford. I give ours a fiver a week fun money to do with as she likes.
But I buy clothes, pay for cinema and everything else.

I opened card accounts at 11 for mine and they got £20 a month. I paid for phones, friends birthday presents and gave extra money twice a year for summer/winter clothes. Anything extra had to be earned eg £5 to mow the lawn or clean the bathroom

£15 a month! But I pay for everything else.

£3 paid into her bank account every Friday.
We use Go Henry and they have a scale on there for average pocket money that their customers allocate

Firstly I believe that chores are not negotiable. Payment for chores doesn't happen in this house, it gives them the impression that they can not do them if they don't want the money.

At 11 your DD should be doing more than just keeping her room tidy.

I am a SAHM with two teen boys, we have done a things your Mother does day, including such delights as dishwasher trap, bath hair trap. But they strip their beds and have done for years, set and clear the table, help with dinner, make cups of tea, lunches, hoover their rooms, clean the toilet and sink in their bathroom, put the bins out which includes emptying the kitchen bin and putting a liner in it etc.

Children in reception at primary clear their own tray after lunch, at 4. So at home it should start from then.

Your DD won't magically volunteer to do things herself, she has to know that whatever her currency is (phone, Wifi, tv, not money related just rewards) won't happen if she doesn't start doing the chores you set without comment. Maybe you should also moan and have a face on every time she expects something from you.

You are teaching her to be an adult, you need to start now. It will only get harder. Pinterest has a whole heap of suggestions for age appropriate chores, you would be surprised at what they can do much younger than your DD.

Money wise it depends what you can afford. I would be expecting your DD to contribute her own money and you top up for things like cinema etc. But set a limit on the number of times.

Mine don't have pocket money, we just pay for what they want but both of them have outstanding attitude to learning at school, high grades for their year group, do all their homework without being asked or moaning about it and volunteer to help with things. They are 16 and 13.

Mine get £12 per month plus their phone contract which is £12 plus all extra curricular activities (7 activities). I do sometimes give them extra pocket money if they were going out.

If anybody is using Go Henry switch to a free bank account for your 11 year old. You could used the money saves to increase pocket money!

My DCs (8 and 10) currently get £2 per week, without being expected to do any specific chores, just so they can have a little pocket money and can practice saving. They are both expected to do jobs for the family, regardless e.g. laundry in basket, lay the table, clear plates etc.
But DD1 wants a phone for her 11th birthday so we sat down together and drew up a list of exta chores that she might do for £5 or £10 per week, based on what we both considered reasonable. E.g. cooking dinner (albeit with supervision), changing beds, mop, Hoover etc

Also they are allowed to go 'overdrawn' by one week - but they know that means they get nothing the following week!

Dd gets £3 a week - i have a standing order but i pay for phone, cinema etc.. At 11 they can have a kids current account with a contactless visa debit card and banking app. Nationwide and HSBC do this - no need for special products.

DC1 (10) has just started getting pocket money this year - 25p per year, so £2.50 a week. He has actually been pretty good about not spending it on random stuff, so has a sum saved up for a big Lego set he wants. I'm intending to look into an 11+ current account for him later in the year in anticipation of opening one for him when he turns 11. At that point I will possibly switch to either a monthly or biweekly sum directly deposited.

Younger DC is just 7 and doesn't get pocket money yet.

At that age I did their age per month plus their SIM.
So £11 pm for an 11 year old.

I agree with GeoffreyEatsPancakes - I think that is very little for her to be doing in the house. Well, not really contributing anything to the household jobs.
However, I don't link pocket money with jobs - it gives them a choice.

I also don't really see the point in giving pocket money, but then giving her extra money whenever she goes out. Isn't the point of pocket money to teach them about choices of how they spend / save and therefore early budgeting skills.

In junior school at 11, mine got £1.10 a week.
At secondary at 11, they got £11 a month.

However, things like going to the cinema are occasional treats in our house, so there was never a 'regular' expectation. So, to some extent it depends on the expectations you've created, as well, of course, as your family budget.

Mine (8,10,12) get £10 a month. We pay for the older 2 mobile phone contracts (£10-15 a month) and pay for any activities, clothes etc. We also pay for things like ice creams or what ever when we are out but if they want ‘extra’ sweets or whatever they can pay for them themselves.

Oh and they do hires but it’s not linked, they do chores as everyone should contribute to the house so they lay the table, clear the table, Hoover, tidy, feed the guinea pigs, sort washing etc

My ds is 11 (yr 6) and gets £2 a week. When he moves to secondary school we'll probably increase this to about £5 per week to cover occasional drink/snacks on the way home, and also give him money for any trips to the cinema etc (it's £7ish for kids here) as and when, within reason.
He does chores when asked. I was brought up with parents who didn't give me any money, I couldn't join in buying a bag of chips on the last day of term, ice cream at the park, etc etc and it really used to upset me. Ds gets anxiety and I don't want him to suffer as I did - so will give him adequate to get by, but not too much that he wastes it or that it becomes unaffordable to me.

You need the Our House app. You set chores for your kids to do and the more they do the more they earn. It's set between £3-5 a week. But you have to do every chore on the list to get £5.

Chores and pocket money separate here.
Every morning empty the dishwasher so I can stack the breakfast things.
Set /clear the table (one or the other)
Put on one load of washing in a Friday night with all the weeks school uniform in it.
Keep room tidy
Do homework
Be nice 😉
Pocket money is 50p for each year of their life per month. So at the moment he is on £6 per month. Plus we pay £7.50 per month for his SIM card.