Newborn and anxiety

[Greycat100]

Hi, this is the first time I have posted on here, I am just looking for advice/support during a difficult time. My baby is 1 month old and things appear to be going well but I seem to be experiencing difficult mood swings and I am finding it difficult to get things into perspective. During the daytime, I feel ok, maybe a bit anxious, but I can cope. When it comes to late afternoon/evening my mood suddenly takes a dip and I start to feel dreadful and can't seem to get perspective. I love my baby more than anything but I can't believe how depressed and anxious I feel. Breastfeeding is proving tricky, most of the time it goes well but then I have a difficult day or few days and I feel like I can't cope. I am not getting a great amount of sleep but I feel too anxious when I get the chance to sleep. My husband is supportive but when I am in this anxious/depressed mode nothing can help me. I have an appointment with the doctor on Monday and also I have counselling starting next week. I will also be going to the local breastfeeding support group on Monday. I just need to keep it together in the meantime.

Hi Amara123, sorry to hear that you felt the same. Interesting that you say it isn't really 'real', I agree, it is being unable to see things objectively because of exhaustion, hormones etc. I will check out the infant feeding board as could do with some specific advice.

Thanks Eslteacher06. I will look at Kellymom website.

Just take the feeding one day at a time, at four weeks I felt like crying every time I needed to feed my daughter, but as I didn’t manage to bf my son I think I just felt really determined. I just kept thinking, I’ll give it until tomorrow. She’s now almost 13 weeks and I’m so glad I persevered, in the long run it has eased my anxiety- no stress about whether you have enough bottles and the extra job of cleaning the flipping things when you’re already snowed under and exhausted! It has made me so much more relaxed in the long run, but people saying how bf is natural make you feel like it should be easy and i think the truth is that often it is bloody hard and draining. Everything will get easier as you go along.

I think the key is realising that most women feel these feelings as some point and recover, you got this! But get all the help you can to make yourself comfortable day to day.

Thanks Blossom28, how you describe feeling at 4 weeks is how I feel now, good to see that things became better for you. I will keep on, taking it day by day.

Amara123, seems like lot of women go through the same feelings and that it is only a temporary thing.

I also had severe anxiety and panic attacks following the birth of my child. It would often hit me hard in the evenings and when I was so desperate for sleep, I would jolt myself awake with what I can only describe as brain zaps. This would go on for hours and was terrifying.

As time went on the panic attacks started happening during the day, often when I was driving the car. It was an awful time.

I never went on medication as I just couldn't t deal with the side effects. I had 6 months of counselling which helped and gradually the anxiety lifted. Now 4 yrs down the line I have completely recovered.

My advice would be, just take as much support from friends and family as you can. Try and catch up on sleep, this is so important. Let others take the baby so you can have a break (this was a big trigger for me as I had no help and husband worked away). Definitely have therapy if your symptoms persist or get worse.

Finally, please remember this will pass. It's very frightening right now, but it will subside. I don't know how long it will go on for, but it won't always be like this. I wish someone had told me that.

Not sure if you're aware but babies tend to be quiet crabby and want to feed more in the evening, which won't help your anxiety. I called it the witching hour. I remember thinking 'oh god how am I going to get through it' and then the relief when the sun came up the next morning. That does ease. You'll get into your own routine. Your life has been completely turned upside down and it's a huge adjustment.

DuffBeer- sorry that you also had a similar experience, good to know tat the counselling helped and it lifted.

Eslteacher06-I have heard of the witching hour and yes it does make things worse with anxiety. The baby can be more crabby at this time of day, hopefully it is just a phase.

How are you doing @greycat100?

Eslteacher06- I'm ok thanks for asking. Very up and down. The main problem is the breastfeeding. I am currently trying to get someone to sort out my babies tongue tie as that may make things easier.

Good luck :) I'm glad you're getting it sorted :)