Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Daughters hair

28 replies

Milliemoosey · 18/05/2019 16:36

My 8 year old daughter is adamant she wants her hair shaved and cut short. She has wanted it like this for about 4 years. Last year I decided to give in and let her have it shaved and cut very short. But she is currently growing it out, but only as I won't let her cut it! When we first cut it all off her hair was very long, it's now to her chin. I don't know what to do, am I being unreasonable by making her grow it when she doesn't want it long? When it was short people would mistake her for a boy, it used to bother me more than her though! I'm just so worried she'll be bullied or kids will make nasty comments to her.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

sleepismysuperpower1 · 18/05/2019 16:54

I would let her have it done, especially because you have already allowed it once so it seems unfair to make her grow it out again when she clearly doesn't want to. Maybe you could go for something like this?

MoreSlidingDoors · 18/05/2019 16:55

I have an 8 year old. If she wanted to shave her head she could. It’s her hair. Why would anyone need to know what’s in her pants on sight?!

FissionChips · 18/05/2019 16:58

Get over yourself and let the child have short hair. If your dd doesn’t care if people mistake her for a boy then why do you? Hair does not make a boy or girl ffs.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

8 year olds Beauty Families General parenting

ImAwfulWithUsernames · 18/05/2019 17:04

I remember when I was that age, lovely long blonde hair... one say I decided I wanted a full fringe and a Bob. Mum being the carefree type, took me to the hairdressers and I had it done.

After that my hair never grew back to the length it was, and I regret it so much, and am slightly annoyed my mum, the sensible adult, thought that I knew best for what suited me. I can't speak for you or others but I will not be letting my daughter cut her hair short until at least secondary school. I know it sounds horribly controlling but that's just coming from my own experience.

DominiqueSmith · 18/05/2019 17:56

I had the opposite experience of @ImAwfulWithUsernames

I wasn't allowed long hair! The longest it got was chin length and I was always being mistaken for a boy. This was because my uncle was a barber and cut it for free - but he always cut it in a boy's style!

I'm 49 and still traumatised.

So if you'd DD really wants it short, let her! It's her hair!

Nuckyscarnation · 18/05/2019 22:12

Her hair, her choice. Let her have it short!

Sexnotgender · 18/05/2019 22:14

Let her cut it, why on earth wouldn’t you?

My daughter had her waist length hair cut into a pixie crop when she was 12/13.

OhMyDarling · 18/05/2019 22:17

I would
Compromise by finding a short feminine cut you both like.

I wouldn’t allow shaved hair for a boy or a girl.

RainbowMum11 · 18/05/2019 22:18

Could you compromise and see if she'd grow it to a length that would enable her to donate her hair to one of the charities that make the hair into wigs for children with cancer.

HoustonBess · 18/05/2019 22:21

She's already had it done and knows she likes it. Four years is a long time to consistently want something. Let her do it.

If you're worried it means something about her sexuality or gender identity, maybe you need to think about that a bit and face your fears.

FilledSoda · 18/05/2019 22:52

Being mistaken for a boy is a rubbish reason not to let her have short hair.
I don't think it would make her a target for being bullied either to be honest ,
I would wonder if the shaved style might be in breach of school rules though .

Littlechocola · 18/05/2019 22:54

I would be proud of her for not wanting a certain hairstyle just to please others.

twoheaped · 18/05/2019 22:59

My dd has cropped hair and has done since she was 5.
Yes, she has had comments, especially when she started high school and she is forever being mistaken for a boy. If she has to correct people she will, if it's just somebody in passing neither of us bother.
I am proud that she bucks the trend and doesn't look like the majority of teenage girls with long hair straightened to within an inch of it's life.

Let her have it short. Why wouldn't you?

Original poster

Milliemoosey · 18/05/2019 23:24

After reading all the comments I can see I am being unreasonable. We will let her have her hair cut how she wants.
Just a quick question; (I think I know the answer already) me and my fiancé get married in 2 weeks, my DD wants her hair cut off before the wedding but myself and my partner want her hair as it is now so it can be put up like the other bridesmaids. What do you think we should do??

OP posts:

ravensrivers · 18/05/2019 23:29

Get it cut before the wedding. Your daughter's happiness is more important than your wedding photos.

OhMyDarling · 19/05/2019 00:43

After, she can wait a couple of wks. It’s called compromising.

Jaffacakesandunicorns · 19/05/2019 00:49

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

WhereForArtThouBray · 19/05/2019 00:55

I am very much in the camp of its only hair let her have it how she wants.

My DD is allowed to have the ends of her hair dyed whatever colour she wants for the summer holidays and then gets it cut off for school in September. Its her hair.

However i would do it after the wedding. It's only 2 weeks.

elibee · 19/05/2019 01:07

It's obviously not just a whim if she's wanted it that way for years and she liked when it was short so definitely let her do it.

I'd do it before the wedding too - would you nor rather she feels confident and comfortable on your wedding day?

Also it will be much nicer for your daughter to look back at the photos and think 'oh yeah, I remember when mum made my so happy by letting me get my hair cut before the wedding ' rather than 'oh yeah, remember when mum forced me to have long hair so her wedding pictures looked perfect'

nwybhs · 19/05/2019 01:08

I would
Compromise by finding a short feminine cut you both like.

Haircuts don't have genders.

pineapplebryanbrown · 19/05/2019 01:17

I wouldn't let a young child have their head shaved or even a crew cut - boy or girl. Short, sensible hair yes, bit nothing more extreme.

Smellbellina · 19/05/2019 01:20

I let mine have it how they like, because it’s their hair, and it’ll always grow out.

Herland · 19/05/2019 01:31

Your daughter's happiness is more important than your wedding photos.

If my child's fundamental happiness hinged on a haircut I would be very worried.

Having said that, I wonder why it's so important to you to have her with longer hair in the wedding photos.

SunshineCake · 19/05/2019 07:54

Are you embarrassed in some way about her or her choices?

LL83 · 19/05/2019 07:58

Ask her if she can keep it for wedding and get it cut after, hopefully she will agree then no issue.

Most short haircuts that she sees will be boys/men's. Have a look at short hair on women, there might be a style you both like a bit better.

Flip

1 2

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread