3yo regularly wetting herself

[LettuceP]

Looking for advice please and if you have had the same problem then anything that worked.

Dd is 3, will be 4 in August and starts reception in September (so will be one of the youngest). She is perfectly capable of using the toilet, she can do so by herself, dry at night, can hold it until we find a toilet while out etc. But she regularly wets herself at preschool and at home when she's having fun. She usually wets herself on the way to the toilet so she basically just leaves it too late if she's enjoying herself.

So far I haven't really done anything to tackle this and was just waiting for her to grow out of it but with school fast approaching I'm getting worried that she won't grow out of it in time. I've started telling her that she might not be able to go to school (she's really excited to go and knows she will after her birthday) if she can't do all her wee's in the toilet because (key workers name) won't be there to help her at school, and big girls who go to school don't do wee's in their pants. So far it's not working 🙄

Has anyone got any ideas of how I can help this click for her? I need some tactics. Thanks.

Forgot to say she always makes it to the toilet on time for a number 2, no issue there.

Have you talked to her about the importance of not leaving or to the last minute?

Sticker reward chart combined with getting her into a routine of going pre-emptively. "we're going to do X now, DD. Go and have a wee then we can go out" Then talk to school and make sure they remind her to start with to go at the start of break, start of lunchtime etc. My DD is young in YR and had a development delay but has coped ok - we sent her in with spare pants and tights and spoke to staff about the potential issue and it's been fine. She's had 2 accidents since September and she is not the only one.

Very common and very normal

Stylemebaby yes I regularly explain to her that she needs to go as soon as she feels like she needs a wee and that whatever she is playing/doing will still be there when she gets back. Her communication skills aren't the best for her age so it can be hard to get things to sink in.

Patchwork sticker chart is a good idea, I could do a sticker for every day she doesn't wet herself (1-3 days a week). I do remind her to go before stuff so we are in that routine already, it's mainly at preschool that she wets herself the most and they tell me that they remind her as well.

It's good to hear that it's normal and that kids wet themselves in reception. I've been imagining the school being very displeased and thinking that we'd send her off to school without bothering to potty train her 🙈

This sounds a lot like DS before starting school. Unfortunately he got into a cycle of drinking less and less and got very badly constipated which has caused months of problems. It may seem counterintuitive but make sure she drinks lots - this can help give clearer signals about needing to go. I would go easy on the "big girl" pressure as that can be counterproductive - similarly I'd reward going without an accident rather than being accident free as the latter can makr them focus on drinking less and holding on more. The ERIC website is a fantastic resource.