Breastfeeding is really getting me down

[tiredmama200]

DD is nearly 5 months and EBF, I’m so proud of myself for sticking with it because it’s been so hard. I keep giving myself goals and that’s helped (stick at it till 6 weeks, then 3 months, now 6 months). She was an ELCS because DS1 was such a scary labour and I ended up getting sepsis so I never got chance to try breastfeeding him. For the first 2 months I’d literally be crying when she latched on it was so bloody painful and my boobs were always so full to the point it hurt. Now they just feel empty all the time, I find it easier to hold her at one side (I have a bad shoulder) so I don’t always do alternate boobs, I’ve tried pumping but I’ll spend like an hour pumping and barely have an oz. But for the past week I’ve spent every night crying and begging her to feed. She just keeps pulling herself off and just screams and won’t go back on, it’s like they’re just empty. It’s getting me so down, I am proud for bf for this long but I just feel like I’m failing her. I don’t know what to do, I really want to keep going but I’m getting so stressed and upset I don’t know if I can do this anymore. I can’t help but feel it would be so much easier to give her formula, just for my own mental health. I’m sorry I guess I just needed somewhere to rant and cry.

Switch to formula. You’ve done really well. It seems that’s what you both need. Don’t feel guilty at all.

You are NOT failing her, and being miserable certainly isn't the best for you or your baby. You have done brilliantly and don't need anyone's permission to stop breastfeeding. Move forward guilt free because there is nothing to feel guilty about. You being mentally healthy is far more important for your daughter than breastfeeding is.

OP you’ve done amazing!!! There’s always an emotional wave that comes over you when you cut down or stop breastfeeding, whenever that is. If she’s not feeding as much the supply will drop, please don’t allow yourself to get so worked up trying to pump. Your DD will be eating food soon, taking less milk it’s just natural progression.

Don't feel guilty at all, could you combination feed with breast and formula to take the pressure off a little? I hated breastfeeding but kept going until 6 months by combination feeding.

Try parallel feeding. Alternate feeds of breast and formula can work really well. Gives your boobs a chance to recover and fill up again, and ensures your child is getting enough. Maybe he's having a growth spurt? Very normal and so bloody tricky when exclusively breastfeeding.

Feed your baby how you think best suits you both.
Bf is hard. And you should be proud of yourself.
You know they have growth spurts where it literally feels like you have a baby permanently attached to you? That is normal. I binge watched Broadchurch at that point.
If you want to stop, its ok. But if you just need a little break you can mix feed..I didn't manage this with my first child but did with my second. He would take bottles of formula and bf at night/if I was available! Be kind to yourself, formula is not poison.

Op, stop now. Your baby needs a happy mum.
You’ve done brilliantly. I knew exactly when to stop with mine.

My niece was switched from boob to formula at 5 months and is now a healthy, happy, full of beans 3 year old

You've done amazingly well to get to 5 months : ) and you are absolutely not failing her. Expressing isn't a true representation of what baby is getting from you. I could never express much milk much to my frustration but baby was getting plenty breastfeeding herself.
I had the same mental battle with myself about whether to move to formula or not, it's so hard to know what to do and emotional too.
Are there any breastfeeding support groups at children's centres near you you can go along to? What you're experiencing is very normal, babies go through fussy stages. Speaking to people going through the same can really help.
Also if you want to start formula that doesn't have to be the end of your breadtfeeding journey. With my second baby I introduced formula at around 4/5months, just one bottle to start with. That gradually increased as I wanted to but I carried on breastfeeding until 9 1/2 months.
Do what feels right to you x x

You should be so very proud of yourself, to keep pushing on despite all the pain and difficulties is remarkable.

Having had a similar experience, my advice would be to stop breastfeeding. I also endured months of pain when establishing feeding, then it went well for a while but just before 6 months we had problems again. I tried desperately to keep it going (pumping for hours too) felt terrible guilt for wanting to stop but in the end I had to switch to formula.... and it was great!!! I felt so much better - physically and mentally. It was as if once I'd stopped it gave me a chance to stop and breath and take stock and get some perspective. The most important thing was that my son was fed. I'd been putting myself under unnecessary pressure and it was really affecting my mental health. Stopping was absolutely the best thing for me and my baby.

I'm now breastfeeding my second son - it's started much better and it going well but if we have similar problems further down the line I won't hesitate to make the switch and I won't punish myself for doing so.

Wishing you the best with whatever you decide

Omg, honestly thank you all so much, I wasn't expecting such a positive reaction at all- currently crying happy tears!

Anyone have any tips on parallel feeding/where the heck to start??

Start with trying one bottle a day.
Easier if someone else can give it as baby will smell the bm and want that.
My dh would give one bottle around dinner time so I got to eat.

Then gradually started alternating bf with a bottle except during the night.

Breast-feeding is fucking hard. Stupidly hard at times.

5 months is bloody amazing.

I'd start with one bottle to replace one feed, and go from there. You might end up mixed feeding, you might switch completely.

(also boobs to go empty and feel empty, it is just your body has got used to making the right amount of milk now, so it's very normal)

By six months they have all the benefits anti body wise. I went back to work at 5 months expressed and fed whilst I was there til about 8 months. Started to introduce formula and mix with breast milk at 7ish months. By the time he switched to formula properly by 8 months he was sleeping through. That was so nice...to sleep!

If you feel like stopping then stop, there’s no reason why you have to continue. My little one was really not bothered by it- didn’t know what boobs were fur after about two weeks on the bottle

Op, if parallel feeding is still too daunting, please don't hesitate to stop breastfeeding. Your happiness and mental health is the absolute 100% most important thing in the world.

You poor thing! Stop BF. I'm at 6.5 months and currently trying to get my LO to take a bottle as I have various social events coming up & DM has kindly offered to take care of him. It's not as easy as I expected. I say this only cos I don't want you to wait until you're at the end of your tether and your LO then refuses the bottle.

Stop if that's going to make you feel better, that's what is important to your baby! I've combi fed a lot and still do sometimes, DS is happy with either or. I always do a long feed in the morning and before bed but sometimes just short feeds and formula top up for the two in the day. If you want to get your supply up I've found fenugreek capsules from Holland and Barrett really work, take three three times a day, I started getting leakage after a few days so dropped to two twice a day once supply was back up

Yep, stop if you want to, you need to feel well, positive and happy for your baby. If you really want to continue bf or partially bf my top tip is (very unhelpfully when you are caring for a small baby) to look after yourself. Drink lots of water, my DD is noticeably more fussy if I’m dehydrated as I don’t have enough liquid to make milk from I guess, also eat well. Oats are meant to be good, it’s probably an old wives tale but it’s a good excuse for flapjack and oats cookies!

Try swaddling her before feeding? DD (5months now) went through nursing strikes where she'd scream the house down & flail her arms and legs instead of latching. She'd go 5-6 hours without drinking despite being obviously hungry/thirsty. In desperation I tried swaddling her, then laid her on the bed in side-lying and she fed without any problems!