How do you put 2 toddlers to sleep at the same time??

[LouisaM100]

Do people actually manage to put two toddlers to bed?

I have had a trying 2 months with my two. Dd3 doesnt usually nap during the day so no matter what we do, she is sleepy by 6pm so bedtime is usually 7-7.30, she is usually no problem to put to sleep. Ds2 is a pain. He naps during the day and is awake up 2pm which means he should be tired by 7pm, after at least 1 hour of running around in the park and other activities at home. However, when the time hits 7pm and they have had their bath, watched about 20 mins of tv and brushed their teeth, and its time to go to bed, they simply wont.

It is a wrestling match in their room for about 1h 30 mins. They share a room and have a bunk bed so they will get super hyper, ds2 climbs up and down the bunk bed, dd3 hits him or jumps on him, plays rough or whatever and it really ends up with me screaming the house down because they either:

1. Hurt each other playing because they seem overtired
2. Start bringing out all of their toys to throw around
3. Jump around the whole room screaming and laughing
4. Attempt to run out the room to go downstairs
5. Open and close and pull the blinds

There are times where dd3 is super tired and doesnt want ds2 to be near her in any type of way and he would annoy her by climbing up the bed to her and causing havoc so i literally have to stand by the bed ladder stopping him so he crys his head off, which obviously means no one is sleeping. Ive tried kicking him out the room for a few mins at a time so i could at least get dd3 to sleep but he obviously screams outside the door, which i dont like to do.

My husband works and doesnt return home until about 8-9pm, and there are times that i have spent over an hour trying to put them to sleep and then they hear him come in and its Armageddon, time wasted and they get hyper and wont sleep until about 10pm because daddy's home.

I cant live like this because I wait until my husband comes home so we can have dinner together so by the time i plate up, clean etc its about 10.45 pm and i need to sleep so there is no time for myself or my husband or tv as I'm up again at 7am and disturbed at night by ds2.

I have tried reading stories whilst their in bed but they wont listen to them and just carry on acting crazy.

I believe this started when i stopped breastfeeding ds2, he cant put himself to sleep, no matter if i sing, read, pat him, hold him etc whilst dd3 is sleeping. It takes a looooong time if he does and he would be in and out of bed, up and down the stairs for 45 mins. He usually ends up waiting for dad to put him to sleep, which takes only seconds sometimes if dad is laying next to him in the living room, again at around nearly 10pm.

One thing that doesnt help is the British summer time, its so light outside dd3 tells me its not bedtime and the fact that i am 5 months pregnant with number 3, totally unplanned but welcomed. There are times where i end up sobbing until my husband comes home, because it all gets so overwhelming and it happens every single day, no matter how active they are during the day.

Any tips gratefully received

That sounds tough. Could you try putting DS2 to sleep in your bed for a bit, so they’re not in the same room together? And they’re under strict instructions not to get out of bed?

Do you have a black out blind for the room?

Sorry should have clarified - with the view to lifting DS2 into his bed later (not so he sleeps all night in your bed)

How old is your DS?

My DD has only just turned two and is dropping her nap. If she has a nap in the day now then she fights sleep in the evening until 8:30. If she doesn't nap, she's in bed asleep at 7.

Life with small ones is all about picking battles and going with the flow. If your dd is sleepy and goes to bed earlier than your ds then put her to bed earlier so she can go to sleep then deal with ds.
Do whatever works to get him to sleep with minimum fuss, don't make it a battle ground. If his natural time to sleep is later then go with it. Let him be quiet on the sofa with a book while you potter around doing bits and bobs or put him to sleep in your bed so he doesn't disturb his sister and carry him through later.
I've one who wouldn't go to bed at all when little, his older siblings went and then he'd chill out downstairs until he went to sleep on the sofa. Bit by bit I was able to get him to go to bed but not until he was around 4. Another of mine has never needed much sleep and while big brother slept 6.30 til 8 ish she never slept and still hardly sleeps age 10. It can't be forced.

Thanks for the reply :) I've tried putting ds to sleep in my bed but again, same story, he will either run to his room to dd or she will climb out of bed. I think he also finds it weird that im putting him to bed my bed not his, because i always put him to bed in his bed and dad usually puts him to sleep in our bed.

Dd tends not to come out of bed once ive told her not to but she does want me to stay in the room until shes asleep which is kind of impossible when ds2 is running around

Definitely black get out blinds! Could they be over tired? I would try and drop or really reduced your sons nap them get them ready for bed and quietly listening to a story by 6:15 for a 6:30 bedtime.

@INeedNewShoes, its interesting that you say that, ds is 25 months exactly and he has fallen asleep 15 mins ago since trying to make them sleep at 7pm. But im not sure if hes ready to stop napping because we've tried not letting him nap in the afternoon and its a struggle cos last time he slept at 6pm and woke up at 2pm wandering around the house

Oh op i hope someone comes along with some good help, I just want to give you these

Why does your DH put him in your bed at night? Is it just to try a different technique? Surely that must be confusing for him. Is there no option for separate rooms?

I have two toddlers who share a room & same bedtime now have a 4 month old too.

I’ve got a gro blackout blind & Black out curtains so their room is dark.
Also a gro clock so they know when it’s blue they stay in bed.

My youngest doesn’t nap though & that massively helps, you may need to look at dropping his nap.

Get a routine going so they know to quiet down, on bath nights I do 5pm dinner, bit of TV with train table then bath at 6pm, pjs, story & bed.

Non bath nights I do 5pm dinner, TV/games then CBeebies from 6pmish before going up for story/bed.

Have you got a bed guard? To help stop youngest getting out?
Don’t let them get out of bed when daddy comes home, either he reads them a story while in bed or he sneaks in quietly.

It’s hard really hard. My 4 month old likes to be in bed for 6-6:30 so when I have all 3 on my own I have to just sling her to get her to bed or I have to chuck middle one in bed to fall asleep while eldest comes & has story with me & I feed her.

Hope you find a solution that gets you more rest.

I'd put DD in your bed at normal time and then once you know she's asleep crack on with DS and some kind of controlled crying.

I can sympathize though, I'm in a similar situation with 3 and my husband works away. I kind of gave up when the 3rd arrived and probably shouldn't be giving advice because I regularly end up with at least one child in bed with me, just so I can get some rest.

I go back to work on Monday. That's going to be interesting!

What I do is get them both ready for bed and then I let DS (nearly 4) watch tv while I put DD (19m) to bed. Then I do him straight after. They have separate rooms though and self settle so it’s totally different to your situation! I also know things will change when DD drops her nap

I’d probably stick some tv on or whatever to keep DS entertained and then put your DD to bed in your room. Then I’d do bedtime for DS in their room and move DD later.

Or drop the nap and put your DS down at 6pm. It’s a thought transition but it will help bedtime

@Ginger1982 Well because either ds will disrupt dd if shes sleeping in their room or he will throw a fit and demand he falls asleep in our bed or the living room , once hes asleep he is put in his bed where he usually stays until 6am or so

Thank you for all your replies! Very helpful.

Yeah we have a routine of dinner at 5-5.30pm, bath bit of quite play, little tv from 6.30 then up to bed at 7pm. I will defo try keeping DS downstairs alone whilst i put dd to sleep...if he will stay lol

I wish you all the best!!

What if you read them both a story in your bed, then leave DD there to fall asleep while you put DS to bed? Then carry her through later.

Or, would they both lie quietly to listen to an audiobook? With the strict rule that any messing around means it's turned off.