Problems at school

[Slh2211]

Hi everyone! My daughter is 4years old and she hates water won’t drink it so I make her a really weak Vimto or mix flavoured water with tap water for school it’s the only way I can’t get her to drink. Well today after school her teacher came to me to tell me that all the children had been drinking each other’s drinks 😕 and when they had tried Violets well they all discovered she had weak juice which meant the teacher found out. Instead of just informing me at the end of the day the teacher poured my daughters drink away and filled it up with water on one of the hottest days of the year. My daughter was distraught! And came out of school with a full bottle of tap water which she hadn’t drank. I told her teacher that it’s the only way I can’t get her to drink she then informed me that it’s school policy not to have juice and then said to make sure it’s weak. It was weak! I am not happy about this teacher upsetting my child to the point that she thought she was doing something wrong when it was in fact me. My daughter also keeps telling me that the boy that sits behind her on the carpet keeps kicking her in the back. Has anyone else experienced anything like these? How did you handle it?

My eldest is the same and will not drink any water but flavoured water. He is allowed to take flavoured water in, which looks like normal water.

For the boy kicking her in the back then she just needs to put her hand up and tell the teacher every time it happens, surely? Or make sure she doesn't sit near him.

Regards the water, if school rule is only water then she'll have to get used to it. I sometimes make dilute squash ice cubes, could you make a couple of these so she's starting with water and then it dilutes slowly so she's getting used to drinking water and wean her off the juice? I freeze my dc's water bottle about a quarter to a half full the night before depending how warm it is outside. This way it stays cold as he prefers ice cold water to lukewarm.

Why were they all drinking each other’s drinks in the first place?

Most School have a water rule you should have discussed it before with the teacher

In both cases speak to the teacher about squash and the boy

It happened at our school when a girl tried to give some of her squash to a little boy who has a sulfite allergy and therefore is allergic to squash

I think you need to persevere with the water. My eldest would literally gag on water when he was little but I knew he needed to get used to it and so I gradually made his squash weaker and weaker at home until it was 99% water. Then had a chat with him about how important it is to drink water at school so you keep hydrated etc. He is 15 now and rarely drinks squash, always has a water bottle with him. The school is right to reinforce the water rule, although they really shouldn't be drinking each others, I wonder if they'd figured out it was squash and used that as a way to bring it up with you.

I have no idea why they were all drinking each other’s drinks, that will be one of my questions when I talk to the head about it. I have tried everything I can to try and get her to drink just plain water but she won’t, and why should she just get used to it she’s 4 not 14. She is the youngest child in the school which they don’t ever take into consideration. Yes she might of told the teacher before all this happened but now she is scared to death of getting into trouble because of this incident that wasn’t her fault, she has also tried to move on the carpet but was told not to.

I would argue 4 is the perfect age to gradually get used to drinking water.

My DS is ASD & refused to drink plain water as a young child, I sent his bottle filled up with flavoured water. Nobody ever realised.

Water only is a normal school rule, it was the case when I was at school too. Rather than trying to cheat the system just get her to drink water, we have all had kids ask for juice, you just say no. As for the other issue, talk to the teacher

I only make it really weak and it’s a tinted pink water bottle so you can’t tell that it has juice in it at all. I would rather send her with weak juice than her drink nothing at all for 6 and a half hours. It’s the fact that the teacher poured it away in front of her like it was her fault that has annoyed me and she got really upset about it.

But you went against school policy without letting the school know - why didnt you discuss it to come up with alternatives?

Why should I she is my child, they are teachers they get paid to teach and I’m not sure there’s much of that going on at the moment. If my daughter won’t drink water and will go all day without a drink if I send her with water then I have the right to protect my child’s health and provide an alternative. The teacher has no right to upset my child for something she has no control over.

My daughter's school is the same. She won't drink water at all so I put coconut water in her bottle, she loves it and it totally clear.

Not without telling them - its a rule and a perfectly sensible one that 99.9% of children can happily follow - if you feel it should be something different you should talk to them

Because as I said in our class we have a child allergic to sulfides drinking squash could have dire consequences. Rainbowbrite another is allergic to coconut (and so allergic a splash on them could cause an allergic reaction) you cannot simply do these things without talking it through. The teachers job is to protect all children

You say in your OP the teacher is ok with weak squash if you had discussed it (presumably because there is no allergy to it) and could handle accordingly

Good luck with the head if you go in like this

What a good idea! Thank you I am going to try that.

The school policies I understand. That fact that the teacher upset my child for no reason is what I’m not happy about.

But as far as the teacher knows you are just flouting the rules rather than your daughter doesnt drink water because she imagines if there was an issue it would have been raised so you are just a parent who doesnt think the rules apply to them or their child

It’s the school rules and is the same at most schools. I have children with allergies in my class and so they can only have water. Also as they get older and water bottles are on their tables if they spill it water is easy to clean up, juice makes everything sticky! The children are also very quick to tell on anyone with juice, I generally remind them it’s water only, but if they are persistent offenders I would ask them to replace with water.
My daughter doesn’t particularly like water but it’s the school rule and we just explain that’s how it is.

You're going to talk to the head? Really?
You'll be that parent!

There will probably be much bigger issues that your child will face in their school career. I would pick my battles... this isn’t really a big deal (even though I understand that you’re upset on behalf of your daughter). If you brush it off with her though, she’ll learn not to be upset by things like this. Class teachers simply can’t accommodate the diverse wishes of 30 children...

You could get one of these bottles, and put oranges/lemons/limes/whatever fruit she likes in the centre. Then the water is still water so school is happy, but tastes of something.

Thank you greenandcabbagelooking for your helpful comment. Yes I will be that parent unlike some of you that are scared of what people will think of you. Like I said the problem isn’t with the water it’s the fact that my daughter was upset because of something she didn’t do because the issue wasn’t discussed with me first. There clearly isn’t any children with any allergies if the teacher can tell me that it’s ok as long as it’s really weak which it was. To upset my daughter knowing that is not right in my eyes.

Unfortunately, things that are manageable at home with just a few children, like dealing with spilt squash, become impossible when dealing with 30 at the same time as trying to teach.

Therefore, schools have rules to make things run smoothly that you wouldn’t need to have at home. (Similarly, most parents don't make their children put up their hand before asking a question.) If you don't understand why a rule is in place, then ask. If you don't like the rules, then you are at liberty to move your child to a school whose rules you do like or even remove her from school altogether, so long as you ensure she receives an education.

However, being kicked repeatedly is an issue that you should be approaching the teacher over. Be aware though, you only have half the story. It may be that the child is kicking in response to something your child keeps doing (deliberately or otherwise), or he's not actually kicking but simply doesn't have enough space to sit down without his feet touching her. Or he might be trying to provoke a reaction from her, get her to move so he has more space, create a distraction or, most unlikely scenario, to actually hurt her.

Once you have spoken to the teacher, it should stop. If not, tell your daughter to put up her hand and tell the teacher, and if it still carries on then go back and talk to the teacher again.

My daughter only drinks juice as well. My eldest was the same at 5 but now at 12 she will only drink water.

I just keep putting juice in!! You need to talk to the teacher and emphasise that she just won't drink otherwise.

You could try to start weaning her off if you want. I'm going to start doing squash at school only as I can't monitor her drinking there. At home she needs to stop as I want to get her out of night nappies! (She has some issues, not just lazy parenting!!)