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Parenting

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Original poster

Feeling judged for using a sling with their toddler

40 replies

Prach · 15/05/2019 15:42

I use a sling to take my 14 month old daughter to nursery 3 times a week (20 minute walk each way), and also when we go swimming (easier than using the pushchair).

I've noticed people have started to comment on my daughter being in the sling, and at nursery today a staff member said my daughter was too big to be carried in the sling now. I'm getting this sense of being judged, but I'm not sure what for?!

Our sling is very comfortable (Becco Gemini) and my daughter really enjoys the times we do use it. She has been walking for a couple of months and spends the majority of her days being active, so I've no concerns on that front.

Does anyone else carry their toddler in a sling? Have you experienced feeling judged?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

MoodLighting · 15/05/2019 15:49

Yes me too. People are so random with their childcare "advice". I don't even give it s thought tbh

Lana1234 · 15/05/2019 15:50

Jealous your toddler will go in a sling I would love my DS to go in one sometimes. Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks as long as you and your DD are happy with it and it gets you both from A to B then carry on as you are. Someone’s always gonna judge about something I’ve found, I like using reins with my toddler because he is very clumsy still and has no danger perception I know some people hate reins but it works for us an keeps him safe so

Cannyhandleit · 15/05/2019 15:52

I sometimes still stick my rather large 2.5 year old boy in the sling for easiness! I always get the odd comments from people!

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Notmymonkeys · 15/05/2019 15:56

Fourteen months is tiny and people really should keep their idiotic opinions to themselves.

Fwiw, both my children were carried in slings from birth till four or five years old. By that stage it was quick ups in a ring sling for ten minutes when they got tired, or fell over, or just needed a hug and a chat, but at fourteen months they were still carried pretty much everywhere.

They are both confident, independent children and perfectly able to walk, run, climb, and jump. They no longer want carrying anywhere, or even picking up much.

Gunpowder · 15/05/2019 15:59

Meh ignore them. 14 months is no way too big to be carried in a sling! You wouldn’t expect a 14 month old to walk everywhere and not have a pushchair so I don’t see why a sling is different.

I think I used to worry about being judged carrying DD1 in a sling at that age but then I realised that if you only have experience of a baby Bjorn you can’t imagine how easy it is to carry with a proper toddler sling. I put my nearly 4 year old in our sling a couple of weeks ago on the way home from a party and I put one of my 17 month olds in the sling practically everyday. Don’t let anyone judge you OP! Tell them it’s comfy and convenient.

foreverhanging · 15/05/2019 16:00

God I wish my dd wasn't an absolute lump so I could do this !

BiddyPop · 15/05/2019 16:02

We used to use a backpack sling (I have absolutely no idea what it was called) up to DD being about 2.5, maybe even 3, on occasion.

There are times it was so much handier than the stroller. Especially as we were often on public transport.

We were quite nifty at being able to get her in and out on the move, so she would walk some of the time - but we had long walks and so she needed to not walk at times too.

azulmariposa · 15/05/2019 16:04

The odd looks are probably thinking:

My goodness she must be strong
I wish my toddler would go in one of those

I got a hernia carrying my 6m dd. But I had an op on my stomach not long before.

DameSylvieKrin · 15/05/2019 16:05

My 18 month old goes in a sling quite often. She’s miles below the weight limit so they are definitely supposed to be used for toddlers.
No judgy comments though.

LauraWW · 15/05/2019 16:10

I didn't use a sling with my first DS who is now 3.5 yo but at 18 months he would in pushchair so I see no difference?

Is your child alive? Happy? Healthy? Developing well? Does it suit you both?

Then do not worry about ANYONE else.... You're the parent and you decide what's best!

JellySlice · 15/05/2019 16:11

What idiots to be judgemental about this. Yes, I've seen it, too.

Would they be hoiking their judgeypants if the 14m toddler was in a buggy? Of course not. Or if they were in a hiking-style back-carrier? Highly unlikely. But, because non-walking babies are carried in slings, some strange people consider you to be 'babying' an older child in a sling. Well, hellooo, a 14mo is still a baby!

Carry your dc how you like and for as long as you like. Probably best that they're walking independently by the time they start school (SN aside, of course). Though if they run out of school and jump into your arms, and you carry them out of the playground, prepare to see the judgeypants getting hoiked then, too. The hell with them.

CMOTDibbler · 15/05/2019 16:15

I used a sling on occasions with my ds until he was 4, and he was a big baby/toddler/preschooler! I didn't use the pushchair at all after he was 1 and we like to be out and about a lot, plus he napped in the day till he was 4 as well so needed to sleep on you during a day out.
No one would bat an eyelid at an under 2 using a pushchair in your circs, so I don't see the issue with a sling

Original poster

Prach · 15/05/2019 16:20

Thanks everyone! Feeling much better having read your responses! I'm not sure why other people care about how I carry my baby, but they do seem to!

azulmariposa - one of the (many) reasons I carry my daughter is that I think it is also good for my fitness!

flexes muscles

OP posts:

Nonnymum · 15/05/2019 16:21

Just ignore them, they don't know what they are talking about.as long as you know how to carry her safely., as I am sure you do, there is no issue and it's none of their buisness how you carry your child.
It's not uncommon to see much older children in slings. Do you live somewhere where it's unusual to see babies/toddlers in slings and carriers. I live in a very hilly place and I would say slings/carriers are more popular than buggy here.

PlinkPlink · 15/05/2019 16:25

I stopped using our sling (because it's not a proper one) only because DS is a lump!! I would still be using it if I could and he is almost 2!

Instead we have a buggy and a hiking backpack which he fits in. It's an awesome bit of kit 😊

I do miss the sling days 😣 they were lovely. Comfy and close 🤩🤩

JeanMichelBisquiat · 15/05/2019 16:32

I sling carried WAY past that age, with both of mine. I loved it so much, and it's one of the things I miss most.

I found people would look a bit askance, and especially out and about when varying between walking and carrying, where I'd pop them on my hip and then swing them round onto my back, but we were a well-oiled machine

It's where toddlers are designed to be - it's that way all over the world. You're doing nothing wrong, just brazen it out!

ParadiseLaundry · 15/05/2019 17:14

Stupid people. I carried DS pretty much everywhere until at least 2.5. Slings became my default as he refused the pram totally until at least 11 months. So easy, never having to worry about there being room on a bus or getting a pram up or down stairs and easy access to cute little faces for kisses I also found that as he got older I would interact with him much more when he was in the sling as we could see the same things. I credit it with getting my waist back really early too and being the fittest I have ever been, my core muscles were great!

28 weeks pregnant and so excited to carry a little squishy body again and build up my core again!

Lazypuppy · 15/05/2019 17:40

I have my 16month old in a carrier on my back, no way i can carry her on my front anymore.

I think she looks weird on the front, as if she is too big, but i know she isn't. But maybe people don't realise

kiki22 · 15/05/2019 17:43

You actually cany win with people judging you so stop caring it's the only way not to go mad. If you use a sling pram or make them walk someone will think you should do the other thing. Just ignore it or tell them straight you didn't ask for their advice

MrsArchchancellorRidcully · 15/05/2019 17:58

Ha ha. I used to regularly back carry my 4 yr old DS. occasionally my 6 yr old would hop in if she fancied some closeness with me.

Tell everyone to mind their own business.

mindutopia · 16/05/2019 07:41

No, I wore my eldest til she was probably 3. My youngest is 15 months now. He doesn’t walk. How else would you get places where you can’t take a pushchair? No one has ever said anything to me, but I probably look like someone you shouldn’t made snide comments too tbf!

edgeofheaven · 16/05/2019 07:44

I've thrown my 3.5 year old on my back when tired travelling. My 18 m old definitely goes in regularly. Don't give a toss what anyone else has to say about it. When living in a city where you can't always navigate with a pushchair the carrier is your best friend.

SoHotADragonRetired · 16/05/2019 07:47

People are weird and fucked up and you have to learn to shrug it off. I can still remember the weirdness (and curiosity) I got in a commuter town where everybody drove when I carried DS1 in a stretchy wrap. I continued to carry him on my back in my Tula until he was nearly 3. Still carrying my 14mo too. It's great for the bus or country walks.

Katebob22 · 16/05/2019 07:49

Of course not, nobody would bat an eye at a 14 month in a pushchair. What’s the difference?

Constance1234 · 16/05/2019 07:49

I used a sling until around 18 months, I miss those days - please just enjoy your sling wearing days and ignore all the judgemental people!

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