Toddler eating

[Ginger1982]

I am struggling a bit with my just turned 2 year old DS and his eating. As a newly weaned baby he used to eat everything put in front of him. Now he will only eat:

Chips
Waffles
Beans
Sausage
Bacon
Pasta in bolognese
Toast
Cereal
Ham wraps
Fruit
Toddler snacks
Crisps
Chocolate/sweets
Raisins

I can't get him to eat chicken, fish, veg, eggs, cheese, soup, sandwiches, salad, other pasta etc. I find evening meals in particular really tricky.

More than that, I find he doesn't want to sit at the table to eat. He started hating his high chair so I bought him an IKEA table and chairs. That worked for a while but now he won't sit still there. So I bought a booster seat for the main table. Again this worked for a bit but now he'll sit in it for a few bites then demand to get down. If I was to let him eat in the living room with his nursery rhymes on he would eat more so I've found myself doing this at times just to make sure he's eaten something but I'm so conscious that I'm creating a situation where he thinks TV dinners are ok and I want us to sit round the table as he grows up.

Tonight for example, I made him sausage, waffles, beans and toast. He ate some sausage at the table then demanded down. I finished my tea then took his plate to the living room and he's currently working his way through the rest of the food whilst watching The Wheels on The Bus 🤦‍♀️

Should I not let him eat in front of the tv and have him be hungry or just focus on making sure he eats regardless of where?

Thanks for any advice

Do you eat all together as a family or are you just sitting next to him while he eats?

This is your list, I have divided it in 2 sections

This section should disappear . Whatever is left in cupboard should be removed and stop buying it.

Chips
Waffles
Toddler snacks
Crisps
Chocolate/sweets
Raisins

And you must rethink what you are offering. Far too much processed meat and sugary food

Beans - baked beans (with sugar) or cannelloni beans in water?
Sausage - processed meat
Bacon - processed meat
Pasta in bolognese - ok
Toast - with what on top?
Cereal - rolled oats or high sugar kids cereal
Ham wraps - processed meat
Fruit - how often

Does he snack? You shouldn't give him ANYTHING two hours before meals, nothing at all, not a bite of crackers or a grape, only water, no milk, no juice.
Try real meat, chicken breast, roasted chicken, half of your steak, a bit of fish, and vegetables. I know you said he won't touch it, but nobody would touch them when there is all the processed and industrial food available which is often engineered to make you only want to eat them.

Eat all together as a family, with him sitting next to you, and you must lead by example, so have your plate filled with healthy food and not food from a packet, a hat or a freezer.
Try chicken cut in stripes and then rolled in flour, eggs and bread crumb, then cooked in a oily pan and offer them as chicken fries. Roasted veggies are very well accepted, extremely thin zucchini slices put under a very hot grill in the oven (they burn very quickly so stay nearby) , kale chips (home made not potato chips with 1% kale powder) and so on.

Once a child has been given the choice of crap, it is a lot harder to re-switch him to real food, so it will be hard, but this is something you will have to do.

Thanks for the advice

Sorry meant to add that we do sit to eat as a family and that the list is not things he gets all day every day, just food that he will actually put past his lips. So he doesn't regularly get chocolate for example but he will eat it!

I am guilty of probably having offered convenience food when in a rush. I'm just disappointed that he used to eat other things in the past alongside some of these things but now won't. But I take the point that if you're offered 'nice' things you'll take them! It's hard when you go to the effort of making things like proper chicken or fish and it just ends up in the bin.

@Ginger1982 I worried about this for ages. Now I have come to the conclusion that it's better that DC is not hungry. When they're a bit older and I can explain and they understands, we'll change things up then. DC sits at the table for dinner but is more of a grazer during the day. I put Hey Duggee on the tablet and they sit and eat their dinner, no problem. I have found other ways of getting them to eat 'good food'. In Sainsbury's they do various fruit treats that could as 1 of the 5 a day. A favourite is 'Humzingers' and they get scoffed down fairly swiftly. Iceland also do Rainbow Mini Waffles. These are made with Beetroot, Sweet Potato and Pea's as well as regular potato. Iceland is the only place you can buy these. Birdseye Fish Fingers have Omega 3 in them.

That said DC won't drink anything other than milk or water, so have no problems with squash/tea etc.

You will always get the 'sit them down and make them eat it' comments, but that doesn't work for me or my child. I'd much rather my child was happy and not hungry, and if that means Chicken Nuggets (I only buy the 100%chicken breast ones) and mini waffles for dinner, then so be it!

😘

@Ginger1982 also, my DC will absolutely not eat chocolate! (As much as Granny tries to get it in their mouth!) just spits it back out. Same goes for ice cream and anything fried or too greasy (gotta love a trier! She won't give in! 😂)

Kiddilicious do a great range of stuff, some of which count towards the 5 a day. Smoothie Melts are a particular favourite, and DC thinks they are sweets! They're about 60p a packet, but that's what you'd pay for actual sweets anyway, and they actually are 1 of the 5 a day. Win win as far as I can see!

Just to point out that smoothie melts are 68% sugar, not sure I’d recommend them towards 5 a day

There's always one

Hey. Tough one, sympathy heading your way.

A few quick suggestions:

1. Get kid involved in prep. Tortilla pizzas where they put on their own toppings (tortilla wrap, passata, then grated cheese/pineapple/sweet corn/ham/whatever, then grill), fruit pancakes using whole meal flour (let crack eggs, stir flour, etc), ask for help washing veg as you prep (apron, big bowl of water). Anyway you can involve them makes them more interested. Appreciate this is time consuming and messy, so often most practical at weekends. The Tickle Fingers toddler cookbook has some good suggestions about how to get kids involved.

2. The River Cottage Toddler and Baby cookbook has some fab recipes that go down well. Favourites from it are the spaghetti, the kid friendly pesto (low salt), whole meal blueberry pancakes (as above), little toads in the hole & courgette polpettes. All the recipes take no more than 20-30 mins to put together. There's a lot of good blurb intro at the front that chimes with our family philosophy - minimum stress, meal times should be fun, try not to overthink one meal/one day - look at nutrition over a week, etc.

3. Do you have any friends/family with toddlers who are good eaters? Sometimes, kids will try new things if they see others tucking in. Invite them over and give it a go.

4. I put something I know she'll like on every plate. So, we like (very mild) curry - she doesn't. I'll put a small spoon on the plate alongside a big spoon of rice (which she does), then some chopped up strawberry or something, a big spoon of peas and maybe a wedge of cheese. She'll tuck into the bits she likes, then once she gets into it, she might even have a taste of the curry. It's better than her rejecting the plate altogether.

5. Try to cut out the snacks and the TV dinners (except maybe on a Friday ) - they're tough habits to break the longer they go on.

Good luck. This too shall pass, etc, etc

@Sjl479 I can't say I'm overly happy about the sugar content but it clearly states on the packet that it counts towards the 5 a day, and they can't put that on there if that's not the case. If I could get DC to eat a banana or fruit of any description, I absolutely would give that instead. However, this is not the case in our situation. It's not that DC doesn't like it, it's an independence thing where they will only eat what they can feed themselves. DC is still very young (under 2) and I try and introduce what they 'should' be eating most days, only for it to get thrown on the floor and trampled in to the carpet. I'll keep trying and eventually they will come round, but I'm not going to beat myself up about it in the meantime. My child isn't hungry, and as far as I am concerned that is the most important thing.

Totally normal two year old phase. Unless there’s an underlying issue it’s usually developmental/behavioural. It will probably pass if you don’t make too much fuss and keep serving the foods he used to eat. If he looks like he might actually starve himself you’ll need to rethink, but otherwise skipping the odd meal won’t do him any harm.

@littlemeitslyn one what?

@RafaIsTheKingOfClay this is my thinking too. I don't make a fuss, I just try and introduce something alongside what I know will get eaten. I will keep trying and eventually DC will get over it and just eat what's in front of them.

I did like the suggestion of the help with prep. When DC is bigger, this is definitely worth a try!

I think a lot of toddlers are funny about food. Mine (17 months) refuses to eat most meat at home, so I add lentils to bloody everything. He eats almost everything at nursery and at my mums. My mother in laws food he will not touch! He eyes the food with complete suspicion. she's a lovely person and an excellent cook, so I have no idea why.

Even silly things, like with me he will happily munch through a bowl of porridge and blueberries, but if my husband or in-laws do his breakfast, he'll pick the blueberries out and drop them on the floor 🙄

I mentioned it to nursery Nd they said it's very common. I don't know at what age they get told "it's that or nothing". At 17 months, I don't think mine is old enough for that yet.

@sar302 I think the 'that or nothing' should be saved for when they are of an age where they understand, and that will differ for each child. Mine is slightly older than yours and just wouldn't get it x

Honestly I think the best thing to do with that age is try not to worry too much about food. Even the best eaters go through fussy phases, and as long as they are eating something reasonably healthy once a day and not just existing on wotsits I think it's fine.

I disagree that you should get rid of all the chips/waffles raisins etc, no harm will come from having beans and waffles for some meals during the week. Toddlers don't actually need huge portions, and are very good at only eating what they need rather than over eating to finish the plate like adults do.

My DC (both under 3) have evening meals with us maybe 3 times a week due to logistics and on those nights they will have what we are having followed up with toast, fruit, yoghurt if they don't eat it (and sometimes they don't war those either!) whatever happens we don't comment positively or negativity we just let them get on with it and slowly they are both increasing the range of stuff they will eat.

If you make food a battle you won't win.

Also don't underestimate the power of peer influence. My eldest completely refused to contemplate eating a sandwich until she went for lunch with her slightly older cousin and now she loves them.

Not wanting to get involved in any bunfights here but Chez Wine, 5 days out of 7, we have:

Meat (chicken breast, poached fish, slices of ham/gammon, sausages, homemade meatballs)
Carb: mash, rice, pasta (always refused) etc
Veg: sweetcorn, peas or similar from freezer bag, microwaves, plus a second 'proper' veg, eg carrot sticks, broccoli, etc etc.

Nothing touching obvs! DC will usually eat 2 of the 3 food groups. Which ones depends entirely on which way the wind is blowing.

Other 2 days a week we have a "big pot" meal (lasagne, curry, etc)
These are less popular.

There is only that meal served and it's absolutely fine if they don't like it. If they eat nothing they can have bread and butter.

Always offer pudding, but not an 'exciting' one if they haven't had a decent go at the meal.

Exciting puddings:
Creme caramel pot
Ice cream with fruit
Piece of fruit and couple chocolate squares
2-3 petite filous

Plain puddings:
Piece of fruit / berries
One petit filous

If they have a 'snack' (crisps, breadsticks, biscuit etc mid morning) then that's that bit of their lunch eaten, they don't get another biscuit, or more raisins or whatever at lunch.

We are not strict about food but I don't let them graze. They need to be hungry for their meals.

I realise I sound basically Victorian here but I really don't think anyone needs to be eating every 2 hours. Even newborns can go 3-4 hours sometimes!!!

@thebabysmellsofpooagain Yep, that's it, I don't think mine would understand at all yet! Both his understanding and speech would have to be much better.

They're complicated little creatures!

@pastabest 👍👍

@WineIsMyCarb am glad his works for you. I don't think discussing parenting should ever turn in to a bun fight. Everyone has their own ways of doing things, same as all kids are different!

Great ideas on this thread, thanks particularly to HappyonL0nd0n - will definitely get those books.

I read somewhere that toddlers have built in 'neophobia', as an evolutionary way of keeping them safe. So at an age where they're hard to control (!) and are into everything, been afraid to eat new things also means they won't, say, eat poisonous berries and die.

I find that a small comfort, thinking of cave women trying to get their toddlers to eat some bison or something!

My 18 month old is usually very easy with food - but he’s starting to get opinions and I’m sure he’s going to get more tricky in the next few months. Even now he has days when he refuses things he’s eaten happily the day before and I resort to beans or cheese on toast and toddler flapjack bars..

I just wanted to contribute after I saw the caveman evo development stuff above (which I think makes sense) - to say that this morning I’ve had to wrestle a live spider out of his mouth ( absolutely horrific, I still feel faint!) but he refused to eat his shreddies or banana. So, it doesn’t always work!

@ToftheB funny how they will refuse a carrot, but will happily eat all kinds of crap they're not supposed to......

For us it's stones, leaves, feathers, grass etc..... won't eat a frigging apple though! 🤯🤯

Thank you everyone, lots of great ideas!!

Crikey Lillies, what world are you living in, baked beans and toast and fruit are not the devil!
Op, your child is the same age as my dd, I have two other dc, I can tell you now they go through phases of fussy eating. Phases of only wanting one particular thing. My dd is getting some more teeth at the moment and I think chewing can be sore.
Try and sit as a family and eat together, if everyone has the same your child will be curious to try new things, maybe not at first. Dd is crazy about spicy food!

Yes, neophobia is a thing - toddlers are designed to teach reject new foods! I think it probably helps if they see you eating it but otherwise just keep offering it (frustrating when you know they may well not eat it but important to keep trying).

We're quite lucky with DD (25 months) but she's goes through stages. Agree with trying to offer one thing on the plate they like. I generally don't offer her anything different if she doesn't eat that. I also always offer pudding (usually fruit or yoghurt).

It is really normal. All of DDs friends seem to be at this at the moment. All of us are tearing our hair out.

I think it is a control thing. They are starting exert some control over their lives and eating is the easiest place for them to start.

These things have helped with my strong willed DD-

1. insist they sit at the table. She gets a naughty step if she gets down without permission. We don’t do many but this is one of our big things.
2. once she would stay in her seat I would serve her and then ignore her eating. I found that if I commented on a good at all she would stop and not eat it.
3. if she’s eating with us then she has the same as us. I will take things off that she doesn’t like but I won’t add. So when we have stir fry she only has broccoli with her noodles. But a lot of it.
4. She helps decide on what we are having for dinner. I try to give her some choice. Sometimes there’s no option but most of this time I offer her a choice of two and she’ll help prepare a bit.

The hardest bit was cutting off her snacking before dinner. She would eat all afternoon if I let her. In the end I’ve just made her lunch more protein heavy.

This has worked so far but she still has days where she eats very little- even if stuff she likes. It’s her choice.