These years...

[BrightOink]

Eldest at 13 nearly 14 is a complete scatterbrain. Forgets things constantly. Tells me things completely last minute, forgets to tell me at all.

Middle is nearly 9. Extreme and big emotions. Still has meltdowns. Friendship issues are rife and needs constant badgering and cajoling into doing chores and homework. Can be hysterical and dramatic and then calm and loving.

Youngest is 6. Cares about lego and Pokemon and that's about it. Major meltdowns around reading homework and joining in sports.

Struggling Mum.

I found the early years tiring but there was constant delight in the development, learning , cuteness, always something new to look forward to.
These days are frustrating, exhausting and leave me tearful at the prospect of repeating it all the next day.
I work part time (2 days a week and an hour or two in the evenings), try to exercise 3 times a week, and do yoga to try and 'zone out'.
DH has processing function issues so can just about carry the responsibilities day to day but requires significant support (lists, notes, reminders etc)

Any words of encouragement, acknowledgment even would be so helpful right now. If you have similar, I'd love to know how you're surviving.

Watching with interest - have 5 year old dd and 3 year old ds (who has processing issues, extremely emotional and needs constant reassurance) plus a partner who also has processing issues so I carry the load and am also struggling. Lucky that I’m not working at the moment but I still struggle with it all and was hoping things would improve later on down the line until I read your post

@c737

Yours are so little- I remember the exhaustion from all of the having to do things all the time to keep them occupied & entertained. Don't be too distraught at the prospects of the future. My middle DC had 1 year of counselling via a school referral due to extreme anxiety (they questioned ASD but it was never conclusive) and things did move on from that point- they were aged 5 / 6. Really tricky age- you have my sympathies.

Things in many ways are easier, as in I don't have to supervise their every move and they can do loads for themselves. I just really hadn't even contemplated how these years would pan out and exhaustion is always associated with the early years- I never thought I'd feel like this now, I suppose.

I'm worrying about how mine will manage when i start a new job next week. They have relied on me for so long with regards to school stuff.

Mine are 13 and 14. My 17 yo ds is fine but these two leave everything until the last minute and are pretty disorganised.

I totally sympathise with you op

@Livedandlearned

I find the bit hard that we are supposed to allow them to make mistakes (forget stuff/ not think about things/ learn a consequence) and yet I am the one that takes the hit. School contact me and lay things out. I've tried the 'I am trying to encourage my child to remember and take responsibility for themselves' only to be told that they need what they need- end of. I found it so much easier when I did everything as I could be in control and it was entirely my own fault if I forgot something. This is different and so frustrating - and triggering. I was never that child- had to be the good girl etc, was able to keep things in mind and organise myself...

Bright, thanks for your reply, gives me some hope. I forget sometimes that in two years I won’t need to put his shoes on, clothes on, wipe bum, put toy person in car etc for him and that will lighten the load a bit. It’s just exhausting having to manage his emotions by constant distraction when OH finds it so difficult to practice strategies we’ve discussed.

Both of mine will definitely be the ones leaving bags behind, forgetting about homework etc. I’m already having trouble getting reception aged dd to do her very short, once weekly bit of homework so heaven help me when she moves up to year 1.

You have that spot on! I don't take any of that rubbish from teachers anymore. If i get an email complaining about homework not done I have politely said that there is only so much that I'm willing to do at home. How else will my kids learn. It's a vicious cycle sometimes.

@Livedandlearned

Good for you. The pressure on them is huge, I get that completely. But the truth is, it's a whole family effort- time, money, organisation etc. I know my Mum can't believe the level of input required. She certainly wasn't anywhere near as involved as we are expected to be.