Worried about dd - What can I do to help?

[tammybear]

Just been to Tumble Tots with dd. We only have been to 3 before they broke up for summer, and this is the first one of the term. Dd is quite happy playing with the sticks and big hoops there, but she doesnt really have a go at the other things like the things you walk on to help with balance, the slides, the steps or those big huge soft block type things (sorry you dont have a clue what Im on about). Shes not around a lot of children often (which does worry me) and did find it overwhelming this morning. Plus when other children start screaming with excitement, she starts to cry as it scares her. She went really shy and dug her head into my shoulder. She soon forgot about it when she started to play. Also through song time, she doesnt sit there and do the actions. She usually runs off and starts playing again, or she'll sit in the middle of the circle and watch everyone (which is rather cute as she starts showing off then). I just wanted to know if anyone has any suggestions that I can use to help dd be more encouraged with this type of interaction etc. Thanks xxx

I think the main thing you can do is continue to take her. She will soon get used to the loud noises that other children make. You could also try doing songs and actions in the house where she doesnt have a audience and will pay more attention, hopefully she will then get the hang of it.

How old is she ? dd went through a phase from about 18 months to quite recently (she's just 3) when she was really sensitive to loud noise - be it kids bashing on a piano or chainsaws. Think it might have been something to do with the sound frequency but noticed that it had passed when she tolerated a circular saw noise in the garden when we had new flooring laid in July. As far as the socialisation goes, keep going to TT and other groups but remain a constant presence so she can come back for reassurance when overwhelmed. If you could find a calmer activity which is in a smaller group with the same children and leader each time then she might feel more secure - does your local library or bookshop do a kid's storytime for example.

shes 21 months. ive been trying to find local playgroups. problem is i dont know any mums locally so most of the time she is on her own. im not sure about how library, ill have to look into that.

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Is it worth putting her in a private nursery one day or even a morning a week??? But saying that ds and dd both go to nursery and dd (21 months)normally very good at mixing is going through a very clingy stage at the moment which I find very tireing. It may be a case of just letting her find her feet a bit at tumble tots and get used to the other children

If you give a rough idea of your area, I am sure MN's might know of local playgroups. I think it is just getting used to other children - they don't tend to do much interaction at this age, but at least some socialisation will set her up nicely for when she is older.