Please help. My toddler needs a better mum

[HalyardHitch]

I can't cope with him. I just can't do it any more. I don't even have it in me to write a proper opening post. I just don't know where to turn.

He's currently upstairs screaming in his cot

6 are you on your own? Have you anyone you can phone to come round and support you?
He's safe in his cot for the moment.

Take some deep breaths.

Hopefully someone else will be along in a minute with actually useful advice, but saw this and just wanted to say you are doing ok. The fact that you care and want to do well for him is so important. Try to be kind to yourself.

Do you have a partner or family or anyone else you can turn to? Have you slept and eaten?

Do you want to tell us about him? How old is he?

Would fresh air help you both? Pop him in a buggy and go for a walk. I used to walk for miles with one of mine and it kept us both calmer.

Apologies if that is too simplistic a solution for more complex problems. Didn't want to read and run. And walking did keep me semi-sane with The Amazing Non-Sleeping Baby.

I have no family nearby, no friends available and my husband is in London for the weekend. I'm literally alone. I've just gone up and lost my shit with him which obviously hasn't helped.

He needs to sleep. He has some health issues and is exhausted. He really must sleep. I just can't stop crying. I don't know what to do. His brother is currently asleep but I really needed them both to nap together

I don't have a double buggy any more and my toddler is currently too unwell to walk far

for you OP, they are so hard sometimes. If you can, can you just sit in the room with him? I find when mine kicks off I just sit on the floor in his room, not saying anything (usually on MN), and he calms down on his own.

Sorry you’re going through this OP. Can you try switching on the tv for a bit till he calms down, use this time to cuddle, make yourself a cup of tea and breathe.

You’re doing fine, if he’s safe then leave him there while you calm down. I use TV on days like that, don’t feel bad but just get you all through the day.

Would they both sleep in the car if you could go for a drive?

You are doing just fine. Plonk him in front of the telly or do whatever he wants if it helps. Some days are for teaching the kids they don’t always get what they want, but today is not that day. Don’t be so hard on yourself, you’re doing your best and they are safe. Xxx

Let him whinge in his cot and go to sleep? You could try the TV? Honestly we all have days like this. Toddlers can be arseholes sometimes.

My days of toddlers are admittedly 18 years behind me but I remember the feeling well when they just won't fucking sleep 😢

Is he safe in his cot? Will he come to any harm if you leave him to cry? If you can, close the door, let him cry and go and sit down, have a coffee, a biscuit, a fag - whatever your vice is. Take 30 minutes to calm down. You're not a bad mum - you're an exhausted mum!

Can your DH come home?

Can you take him into your bed and have a nap together?!

So sorry to hear you're struggling, OP. This is exactly what happened to me when DS was a toddler (he's 4 now).

The best thing that worked for me was to take some deep breaths and to gently lift him from his cot, cuddle him and pace up and down the room until he settled and fell asleep.

Do you think you could try that?

He slept 12.45 till I woke him at 4.20 in the end. He's a bit complex sometimes this boy. I actually am surprised but a couple of friends responded to.my.sos. one just turned up (and woke.me from my nap) and another popped by with her boy for an hour this afternoon. I'm so thankful to them both

So glad things are not looking so bad. When ds1 was a toddler and ds2 was a baby a friend asked me how I was and I just burst into tears and could not stop crying. It was good in a way as she took me under her wing and things got not necessarily easy but easier to manage. It sounds like you have some good friends so I am sure they will be there for you if you let them know how you feel.