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Parenting

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Original poster

How to tell toddler to expect a sibling.

16 replies

1nellydog · 09/05/2019 10:22

We have a very clingy 2 year old and we have just confirmed we are expecting our 2nd baby. Any tips on how to ‘break the news?’

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

user1474894224 · 09/05/2019 10:28

We just told our 2 year old once we'd had the 12 week scan. They are very young and possibly won't understand. But we normalised it by talking about the baby. Closer to the time bought books about mummy having a baby....when it happened they were fine with it. (been through it twice). We did have grandma making an extra bit of fuss over other kids when baby arrived.

Redwinestillfine · 09/05/2019 10:30

I would wait as long as you can...until you are past 20 wks if possible. Partly to make sure everything is ok, and partly because otherwise it's SUCH a long time in a toddler's world. There will come a point when you can't pick your child up. You could explain then? I know it's hard not to share such exciting news though

NotGenerationAlpha · 09/05/2019 10:31

We used this book www.amazon.co.uk/Theres-House-Inside-My-Mummy/dp/1841210684?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

One tip is don't do it very early. We just read the story so DC1 knows about what were babies and why mummy's tummy was getting big. Toddler doesn't have the same sense of time as us. I can't remember when, but I think we didn't really say the baby is coming until the last 2-3 months.

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2 year olds Behaviour & development Families General parenting

Happyspud · 09/05/2019 10:32

Leave it till wayyy later. At 2 they don’t understand much.

NotGenerationAlpha · 09/05/2019 10:32

By telling DC1, I mean directly about she's going to be a big sister. The story introduce the concept of pregnancy and siblings.

MikeUniformMike · 09/05/2019 10:35

Leave it as late as possible.

Aurorie11 · 09/05/2019 10:55

We left it until I was over 30 weeks, as other say it's a long time for a toddler

Youvegotafriendinme · 09/05/2019 10:59

I made the mistake of telling my DS when he was a few weeks away from turning 2 and I was about 10 weeks. Then I had a late MM and he asked me for a fair few weeks after about the baby in mummy’s tummy. If we are lucky enough to conceive again I won’t be telling him till as late as possible or at least till after the 20 week scan

User11011 · 09/05/2019 11:07

Wait until it comes out naturally and it is visible. There's a baby in mummy's big tummy.
Read books to them like I'm going to be a big sister/brother.
I sense a bit of negativity in your post in the sense that your toddler is clingy and therefore you are expecting it to be received as bad news. If that gets across to your toddler then it won't be the best start so try to approach it very positively. Sorry if that's obvious.
When the baby is here another couple of ideas is to try to make it so that the first time your oldest sees your baby, you aren't holding him/her so that your arms are free for your oldest. Have the two of them exchange gifts "your baby brother/sister brought you this"
Refer to the baby as "our baby" rather than "my baby".
Good luck!

Aurorie11 · 09/05/2019 22:27

Agree with user, DD 'bought' her old brother a present when he came to see her in hospital after she was born. We referred to DD as DS's baby and when we had visitors they were told to focus on eldest

Original poster

1nellydog · 10/05/2019 09:50

Thank you all so much, i really appreciate the advice. I feel a bit daft because when I read the comments it is really just common sense. Guess I’m just a bit overwhelmed. You have all helped so much. ❤️

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ballooningmum · 10/05/2019 10:03

The Second Child Book by Sarah Ockwell Smith is genius.

We got it a month before our baby arrived and put into place all the suggestions. My eldest is the same age as yours will be and has taken to his new sibling remarkably well.

BlueChampagne · 10/05/2019 12:44

Use the example of a friend of your DC's that has a sibling. Failing that, say 'you'll be like Mummy/Daddy and Aunty X/Uncle Y'.

Agree don't tell them too early.

MummyBear2352 · 10/05/2019 13:16

With my youngest two I bought a toy and wrote a letter from 'the bump' saying how much they loved their sister already, how great a big sister they were going to be and how much they were looking forward to meeting her. 3 years between them.

Original poster

1nellydog · 13/05/2019 10:34

You have all been so wonderfully helpful and my best friend sent me this amazing book today...thank you all so much.

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Happyspud · 13/05/2019 14:36

There’s never been even a blip in the ocean with the arrival of a new baby in our house but they were all close together I guess so maybe thats why nobody’s nose was out of joint. My 4 yr old asked me the other day when our next baby would be arriving😂 she’s so used to one every year.

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