Nearly 3yo still waking at night

[PonderLand]

My son is 3 in June and since I can remember he wakes up for a few hours every other night. Usually between 10-12 or 1-3. He wakes up crying asking to go downstairs, he throws an almighty tantrum if we try put him in our room and the same if we leave him in his cot no matter what we do he's incredibly grumpy/touchy and stays up crying and wailing for hours. If he naps during the day then it's usually a peaceful nights sleep for all. Please help us with any suggestions? He's up crying again! I've been in and given him some milk and asked if he wants me to read him his favourite book but there's no cutting through his screaming.

I can’t help you, my 7 year old does the same

Why is he in a cot? Why is he getting milk in the night? Is he 3 years old?

@Whatisgoingonwithmylife omg! Do not tell me this never ends. I really feel for you, have you figured out what's wrong or why your child wakes up? Nightmares? I ask if he's got tummy pains or feels poorly but he just shouts no. He's had bowel problems before but I don't think he's got anything like that at the moment.

@Copperandtod it's a cot bed and he still needs formula milk that has medication added to it for other health problems.

Its normal

Just cos he needs meds doesnt mean he needs bottle or a cot

Medication can be given by other means

If he's in a cot how will he go to the toilet at night if he needs?

Oh bless you that sounds tough. My DS-will more often than not wake because of a dream. We put him in king size bed recently and then one of us will just climb in with him and it settles him. I’m sure someone will tell me off for it but we thought it’s better for him to stay in his own bed than to get use to coming in with us.

I would try cut out milk/story etc

Don’t underestimate the level of bed hoping that takes place in most families!! As long as you are all sleeping it doesn’t matter where (it won’t last forever)!

I think it's perfectly normal to still be in a cot, especially if they aren't very cooperative sleepers. I'm going to keep my dd in her cot til she's 3.

Yeah it could, how do I give a screaming toddler cornstarch in the middle of the night whilst he's screaming? It's a powder by the way. Shall I get him to snort it?

@wasthataburp he's not potty trained yet

My dd is also having angry waking episodes at the moment. She seems to go through this every few months (yay...). I try to minimise communication and only offer water but it's tough! Especially as she's now waking the baby with her yelling.

Shall I get him to snort it?

@Scanon it is perfectly normal! why transition to a toddler bed and then a single bed if you can use a cot bed for the whole time until they're ready for a single. measurements are the same as a toddler bed.

He is nearly 3 and not potty trained? Please tell me you’re not giving him a bottle during the night too?

@Scanon oh no you have a baby as well! That must be a nightmare to cope with. He's still shouting now but I have ran out of options. I'm going to bring him downstairs before the neighbours get annoyed, they have a newborn who's super quiet

@Bringonspring he won't sleep with us he never has :( he just wants to get up and go downstairs to be whingy. I wouldn't mind as much if he was a bit happier about it but he's so miserable when he wakes up it's like walking on egg shells trying not to set him off again.

I’m 61. I woke eight times last night. I think it’s probably ok.

What does he have downstairs? Could you provide for him upstairs?

Some of these replies are weird. Did people not see he is ‘nearly 3’. So still 2. Why would he be dry over night? And surely having a drink and sleeping in a cot bed is really not that odd. No advice OP as my little boy is 4 and still wakes (but only for a minute for a cuddle). And he still wears a pull up to bed! Imagine. Probably my own fault for not getting him into his own flat or something by now.

@Studentnurse1981 I forgot to say the milk he's on is neocate junior as he has a severe cows milk allergy so the doctors prescribe him it willingly for day and night time use. He has it for nursery too!

Am I off the naughty parenting step now? Do you have any suggestions for getting him to sleep or did you just pass by to judge? When someone posts a thread they don't always have time to post every little bit of information about their child's medical history. I just want help with sleep!

@Woodchiponthewall I'm glad there's a few sane people left in this vortex. I haven't used mumsnet for a while but I thought I was safe posting in parenting he's 3 at the end of June.

We did try potty training last week after my parents mentioned it but he's not ready. He's scared of the potty and his wee! He's due a re-do hypospadias operation in June/July and the urologists say after having a catheter and double nappy for a week they often revert back to nappies and you have train them again. I shouldn't be explaining myself but hey ho!

Ergh why are some people so damn right rude and nasty! @studentnurse1981 I really hope you aren’t a student nurse because you are damn right rude and judgemental! No real advice OP but maybe be persistent and don’t bring him downstairs. If you do it a couple of times he’ll figure out the more I scream the more she’ll give in. It’s tough but hang in there and hopefully in a couple of nights of not giving in and he’ll get it. If there’s nothing with him and he doesn’t want a cuddle then “bedtime is sleep time, night night, love you” and leave him to it. Don’t worry about the neighbours they will have it all to come and probably don’t even notice and if they do they’ll be thinking poor sod! Keep doing a fab job! 🤗

We go through this periodically too, DS is also 3 in June (haven't even attempted potty training yet!)

Unfortunately I don't think there's a huge amount you can do. I generally offer milk to help settle too so I wouldn't stress about that to be honest.

We co- sleep with DS which seems to minimise the wake ups. Could someone sleep in his room for a few nights until he settles? Might stop him getting so fully awake?

My youngest is 5 and still wakes nightly. Not quite the same as your dilemma in that he just wants a cuddle and reassurance. Now he’s bigger he just walks himself through to our room. When he was still in a cot bed, we had to go lift him.

I have no real advice OP, have you spoken to the doctor about his wakings and how upset he is?

Given how upset and grumpy he sounds on waking, I’d guess he is being woken.m by something - noise, too hot, too cold, thirst, hunger, pain or bad dreams and then gets himself in a state about that and needs to go downstairs to ‘settle’ or reset himself.

If I was you, I’d try trying to predict when he will wake up, you say it’s every other night, and being there beside him before he wakes. Maybe your presence would reassure him everything is ok before he gets upset and you could get him back to sleep.

You could also try moving to a single bed now. Mine went from cot bed to single at around 3. The change may just give him more space to move in his sleep and it ‘might’ stop him waking. Who knows...

Would there be anything about his medical condition that could cause him to wake?

You also mention on nap days, he sleeps better. Any chance of him napping daily? Even if it’s in the car or a quick nap.

Just trying to think of everything for you!

He doesn't nap when he's at nursery and they won't encourage him to but he does sometimes fall asleep sat up when they do story time. He's so exhausted from nursery he usually naps 2-3 hours when he's at home so maybe he's over tired? Whenever he's at nursery he wakes up in the night but it happens when he's not there too.

He has ketotic hypoglycaemia which is brought on by fasting or too much exercise etc which is why I have to give him the neocate milk and cornstarch before bed. I've checked his sugars a few times when he wakes up in the night but they've always been fine so I try not to test him anymore as it makes him more upset but I do offer him food incase he is low if he's not calming down. We are going to be buying him a single bed once the car is back from the garage so I'll report back if he gets any better! Thanks to everyone who was kind and offered genuine advice and solidarity.