Help. Feeling like i cant cope.

[Mummy2boys12]

I just don't know how I'm meant to be feeling right now. Im a single mum to 2 gorgeous boys. Eldest is 2 and a half and my youngest is 14 months old. I feel like I'm struggling with absolutely everything right now. Just don't feel like I'm happy any days.
I feel so alone. The boys dad doesn't bother with them, I'm living at my mums with both boys in my room.
I just feel like everything is such a mess. And i just cant deal with any of it anymore.
All i get is moaned at by my mum for not doing things a certain way with my boys. Its like i have to please everyone else.
I work a couple of evenings as a waiteress and thats my only time out away from the boys but i still get moaned at for working because my mum as to babysit the boys.

Just feel like giving up absolutely everything 😢

Oh gosh you poor thing.

You sound exhausted

Do you think your mum resents that you are living there? I think you need to have an open and honest conversation. Along the lines of "Mum, lately you've been saying some things that have made me feel a bit rubbish. Criticisms that have just dragged me down. Is there anything that's bothering you? Are you starting to resent me being here?"

Start there and see where it goes.

It may be that you just need to air your feelings and work towards a better solution for both of you.

I can 100% tell you that you have done a wonderful job with your sons. 2.5 and 14 mo is hard!!! Real fucking hard. You have no place of your own which is also really hard. And you spend literally all of your time on your sons. You sound totally exhausted.

Is there any way you could ask a friend to take the boys? Just so you can have some time to yourself without asking your Mum to help?

Chin up my lovely xx

Sorry OP, sounds like you're going through a shit time. It must be pretty intense with two kids that age plus all the other stuff. Anyone would find that tough - you've just got to survive this bit. You've got so much to look forward to and it will get easier, I promise.

Thank you both!
No i havent got a friend who'd watch them.
I just feel so alone. Cus my brother also lives at home and all both my mum and brother do is moan about anything my boys do or if they make a little bit of mess whilst eating (which is cleared up straight away). Its a absolute nightmare.

Ive tried speaking to my mum about it but she just criticises more which makes me feel worse.
I love the boys but i aint a good mum, i cant even give them a home of their own. 😢😢 just feel like as if someone else would do a better job with them.

Slightest thing they do im on edge. And constantly play me up. Just cant win or do anything

Didn't want to read and run, although I'm not sure how much help I'll be.

I feel some of your pain though, parenting is hard. DC is 21 months and although his dad is here, the lions share of his care is down to me as a sahm.

Cut yourself some slack. You're doing an awesome job to parent two very young boys. Zone out when your mum starts moaning, she's had her turn and these are your kids. You raise them how you see fit.

Make a plan,Get online, get your benefits sorted and start looking for somewhere to live so you are out from underneath your mums watchful eye.

It'll all come good OP. It's just a phase of your life. This too shall pass 😘😘

Thank you!
Have stuff sorted with UC and my wages.
Its just trying to save for deposits and bits atm to be able to move put. Just gonna take a while i think 🙈

@Mummy2boys12

Have you been to your local council? Whilst it's unlikely they will have the facility to house you (but it's always worth an ask, they can only say no!), they may have a deposit scheme for housing which would enable you to get somewhere sooner.

😘

Yeah ive been to them and they want 4 weeks rent up front plus 600 on top of that. No help to how to get the money for it apart from just trying to save it up with the money i do get

So sorry to hear you’re feeling this way. Can you start saving for a rent deposit to move out, or speak to the council to get help? Take it one small step at a time, one day at a time. Things will get better. Try to stay positive for your boys, which you are so lucky to have x

@Mummy2boys12

Had a quick google and found this....

https://england.shelter.org.uk/housingadvice/privateerenting/rentdeposit,,bondanddguaranteeschemes

Anything is worth an ask! Once you get things moving you may feel more positive xx

HTH 😘

Aww this sounds very tough OP. Is there any way your mum or another family member could help you out (financially or provide additional babysitting so you can work extra) to get together a rental deposit so you could move out?

There isnt anyone else to help.
Im working all i can but dont get a lot with it being weekly pay. Then with UC, get so much deducted because of what i earn in the month. Its like catch 22.
Im trying and getting there slowly. Just gonna take a bit i think.

Thanks for all the advice. Yesterday was a bad day!!

How's things OP?