1 Month old and Two Year old Tips Please!

[GPatz]

I have DS2 and 1 month old DD. DD tends to cluster feed between 18:00 and 22:00 and DH does the bath/bed routine. Problem is, it takes a while for DS to settle. DH has a new job that is going to take him abroad frequently. I would love to hear any tips anyone has on how to manage a difficult toddler's bed time routine whilst trying to breastfeed!

Can you baby wear? Some slings you can feed in, but also babies often settle well in them and you will have free hands.
Bouncy chair with vibrate setting while you do bath time?
Could try bathing them together if you have bath seats? They both might chill out.
Walk after dinner. Tire 2 year old out and get newborn to sleep in the pram while you do the routine?

I'll just say there were definitely times my husband was away & my toddler went to sleep "camping" on the living room floor (pillow, blanket, soft toy from her room) watching baby t.v. while I fed her brother. Not the ideal bedtime but she loved "camping" and it took stress out of bedtime/cluster feeding management for me.

I like the bathing them together idea! The problem mainly is that DD cluster feeds around the bedtime routine and whilst a bath may be enough to distract her, it's more the time after the bath and DS going to sleep that's the issue. It can take up to 45 minutes for him to settle (we know this is an issue) and I think DD would be massively fussing for feeds during his time.

I will definitely look at a sling you can feed in. That might be the answer!

Camping is definitely an option! Great idea!

I've got a 12 month old and 2.5 year old now. My eldest has fallen asleep watching TV in the living for about 10 months this past year while I fed her sister. I basically have no standards now. Welcome

I take them both to our bed when husband is away - I get in bath with both of them, then get them both dressed on our bed. I feed little one lying down and have the 20 month old on the other side of the baby . She thinks it's great; takes a little longer for her to go to sleep than normal because it's a bit different from normal. Once she's asleep I put in down and take her to her room next door.

My DD was 2 when I had a new born. When DH wasn't around for bed time I would feed baby whilst reading stories DD would hold book and turn pages. I would then sit at the end of DDs bed feeding baby till she fell asleep.
Now she is nearly 3 I read stories and then use one of those music boxes that sends up colourful stars on to the ceiling to help her sleep alone. It was a gift for baby but made no difference but older DD loves it.

Why is your son not settling at bed time? Have you tried changing his routine?

Does 2 year old still nap?

We are not sure why DS does not settle quickly at bed time. He never has. We have always had the same routine: bath, teeth, story and bed. It's just that it takes a while for him to sleep after the story.

DS2 does still nap. He naps for 1.5 hours at nursery three days a week and sporadically for the remainder.

I didn't even think of doing anything as simple as having them both in bed with me. That's probably the solution that would work the best.

I have a colourful projector somewhere. DS did love it when he was a baby. I'll dig it out and give it a go.

WTFdidwedo

I can see this happening.

Ilovethegarden

Just the Nandos napkins?

What time does your son go to bed? Do you lie with him
Until he sleeps?

Controlled crying for DS. It won't take more than a week and will teach him to self-settle. V hard going but beneficial to both parents and child in the long run.

We start the bath at 18:30. He's in bed by 19:00.

We don't lie with him until he sleeps. We stay in the room until he sleeps.

Thanks HavelockVetinari, I can absolutely see your point, but I would have done that much earlier with DS had we taken that route :)

My 2.5 year old DS won’t sleep before about 8.15-8.30 regardless of what time he’s in bed so we’ve given up trying to get him to sleep at the mythical 7pm for a start! If your DS becomes an overtired nightmare if you leave it later though just making bedtime later might not help much. I didn’t have to do many evenings on my own but did the same as a PP.
DS 2.5 into bath, undress baby DD in the bathroom, dunk her in the bath with DS then get her dry and into sleepsuit, put her on bathroom floor/our bed while I got DS out, dry and into PJs - she generally started wailing through this bit but it couldn't really be avoided. Feed DD while reading to DS and having him turn the pages for me. Lights out and sit in the chair / beanbag in his room and feed DD while he fell asleep (and I tried not to swear at the pain of re latching DD in the dark as she fussed around switching sides).

Hopefully the cluster feeding will calm in the next couple of weeks which may help.

I only have one.. but have friends with two who are BF.

She feeds with baby facing outwards on the breast with a feeding cushion (if that makes sense). So it’s easier to sit with the older one for a story and cuddle up together.

You can get special breastfeeding slings to basically have the baby attached to you for when you’re not sat down? Then have plenty of areas around the house you can comfortably put the baby down when you need to for a few minutes.

Good luck, it sounds like you’re doing great.

Make sure baby is happy fed etc. Put them in another room. Take ds into his bedroom have a cuddle and story with him and then kiss him goodnight and leave him to get to sleep. Return to whatever else you need to do.