Not coping with toddler and baby.

[Marshmellowmathers]

DC1 is almost 3 and DC2 is 7 months. I am really struggling to keep my mental health under control, to the point where I am really struggling. They both cry at the same time and DC1 is very demanding and constantly wanting my attention while dealing with DC2. DC2 isn’t an easy baby by any means as baby cries a lot and is a very light sleeper.
I am currently waiting for a referral from the perinatal MHT but I’m so close to just giving up. I feel like such a failure and all I do is shout at DC1 and cry. Please tell me it gets easier.

Hello, sounds like we have identical age gaps - mine are 10 months and just turned 3. They are a complete handful. I find it exhausting, boring, repetitive, thankless.

I don’t have any amazing words of advice I’m afraid, just know that you aren’t alone and I think it will get easier. I am starting to see the slightest glimmer of light at the end of the table - I stopped breastfeeding DS2 at the weekend and last night he slept through for the first time so I’m hopeful things are improving.

Do you have a helpful and understanding DP/DH?

It will get easier, promise. Are your kids clean, fed and clothed? If yes, you’re doing fine!

I struggled lots when my first two were similar ages. I found it helpful to have an aim for the morning - walk to the shop, or go to the park, or something like that. It just meant that everyone was dressed and ready early because we had a ‘job’, I felt worse hanging round in my pjs! Then in the afternoon I could doss around on the sofa and still feel like I’d achieved something.

You’re doing fine though, be nice to yourself x

Hope you got some sleep last night and today isn't looking so bleak.

I'm also very conscious that I shout too much at DS1, or at least that I expect to much of him and are short tempered.

What I do try to do now when I feel things getting too much is just try and change the environment. So for example, this morning both kids were whining and squabbling in the playroom. I opened the garden doors and shooed them both outside (I live in a hot country, not sure if this is feasible at the moment in the UK!) Just a change of scene seemed to help both them and me.

I am also my own worst enemy for this but I am slowly starting to realise the importance of taking time for yourself, even if it's just 15 mins. Don't be afraid to take up any offers of help, and if you have a DP or DH, make sure they are doing their fair share.

Last night before doing the shitty dinner/bath/bedtime routine, I told DH I was just nipping to the supermarket five mins down the road. I did go into the supermarket to get a few bits, but I also sat and had a coffee in the café next door. Only for the amount of time it took me to drink a coffee, but I went home feeling a little bit refreshed.