Emotional abuse, or overreacting?

[astarish]

My child's Dad walked out on Monday night. We had a bust up over a dream (not a sex dream, it was a conversation between me, my partner and his brother) I had where I had said his brothers name in my sleep.

When he woke up, has was being off with me but wouldn't tell me why. It took until lunchtime to get a reason out of him. I confronted him about why he was being so funny, it then took a 10 minute lead up to tell me about the dream. Rather than listen to my explanation, he shut me down and refused to listen.
As someone with mental health problems, I'm very open about making it known if something isn't right with me. I explained that the longer he took to tell me, the more anxious I was getting. I left the room and he went back to sleep. I sent him a text explaining exactly what had happened in the dream, but he didn't take it in.

That night, another huge bust up, I tried to explain to him that the way he has been treating me would be classed as emotional abuse. This obvious triggered something in him, as he packed up his stuff to leave. Turned everything back on me, 'you don't respect my feelings, you don't make an effort, you use your mental health as an excuse for everything, accept your mistakes and correct them.. I had already apologised for the way he felt about the dream, and tried multiple times to explain, but it wasn't enough.

Because of how he had overreacted to the situation, I wasn't willing to back down (usually I have to give in to him to keep the peace. Often he will only take in what I say once he has got me in tears). We argue every few days, usually him picking on something I've done or said (him a graphic designer and he had posted an unfinished piece of my work on social media. I asked him to remove it, he kicked off again because he 'liked the picture' as it was. He left, and again I found myself having to explain the way I feel. It's a constant cycle of arguments, him no listening, me having to go out of my way to justify my actions, fine for a few days, repeat.

The amount of time he's spent with me (I'm an out of work due to mental illness and spend a lot of time at home) has isolated me from my family and friends. I don't know if any of this has been intentional, but the intentions don't change the effect it has on myself or my mental health. I'm constantly anxious, and on edge around him. Is this all in my head?

Don’t know if it’s emotional abuse but your relationship doesn’t seem at all good. Are you happy? Does he treasure you and make you feel loved? No? Then you know what to do.

I'll use his last message as an example;

I’m going to stop messaging you & leave it from this point I’ve realised you don’t know what I want & your not making enough effort to change for what you want, everything I’m saying is deflected.. it’s never I see how you feel How can we make this work? Or how can we make this better? You let me leave, you even packed stuff for me... I’m talking to you like an adult your giving me that energy... this is all because I told you how something you done made me feel, regardless of what it is everyone needs their time to think, heal & get over things but I don’t get that chance with you because it becomes about your mental health or anxiety.. you get defensive & start justifying instead of repairing. You back into a corner & isolate yourself... you just say things you don’t mean ‘I’m gonna marry you’ & ‘im going to spend the rest of my life showing you how much I love you’ these are things you said but it’s a lie you don’t actually believe that or we wouldn’t be here... one day hopefully you’ll get it, I really did try my best for you but it wasn’t enough.. take care of yourself.

This was his message after leaving my house. He chose to pack his things up and go, I packed up his PS4 which was an Xmas gift as I knew he wouldn't take it with him. This was all over a dream. Apologising wasn't enough, and trying to explain myself was shut down.

The last time he packed up his things, I told him he was being silly and told him not to go. It feels as if he expected me to do the same this time, but instead I took back my house key. I can't give into his behaviour when he makes me feel the way I do

@Pipandmum
This wasn't the best example, there's so much more to it but this was the most recent situation.

It's definitely not a healthy relationship, and we've only been back together 9 months. It shouldn't be this bad so early.

A few of the other things are;

Constantly criticising me - he will put me down, until he's ready for me to be in a good place. Obviously I never intended for someone to have that level of control over my emotions, but somehow we're here.

Trying to control my finances - encouraging me to not go back to work, as he says he will provide. I've stupidly sent him £700 to help him out of a situation (which he says he will pay back when he next gets paid). I'm now in my overdraft due to my washing machine breaking and unexpected costs, but if I ask for financial help, he doesn't. I've never relied on a man for money but I feel like I've been pushed into this situation.

Undermining me, his word always goes. He always believes he's right, if I disagree it turns into a fight. This could be anything from how I parent my son (I don't punish him physically) to dismissing my opinion or feelings because he's always right.

Encouraging me to do things (like being active on social media), then changing his mind but not telling me, then blocking me so I 'can't see his profile' (his words)

@Pipandmum I'm happy when he wants me to be, of course the answer is to walk away, I just need to know if he's right that I've overreacted, or if there is a level of emotional abuse which is what I've tried to explain to him