Hating the car - does it ever get better?!

[Rosebud1302]

My baby is nearly 9 months and has never been great in the car. He gets fed up very quickly and starts this awful shouting/yelling/crying which I find so incredibly distracting. He has different toys, I chat to him as much as I can, there is music on but every car journey ultimately ends up him losing it and it makes me not want to go anywhere!!! I absolutely dread any journey longer than half an hour which makes going to visit family quite stressful. I don't think it is pain as he has moments of playing babbling away and will nap, it genuinely looks like he just hates being restrained and wants out as he tries to throw himself forward while shouting!

For people who have experienced this, did it eventually improve with age?? Any ideas that may help?

Thanks in advance! :)

I had this with DS. Awful screaming in the car since he was a newborn. I had the seat checked, his head checked, tried toys, music etc. We hardly ever went out in the car and when we did, we had to stop frequently.

The only thing that worked for us and was a real game changer was playing baby sensory videos on a tablet during a journey. There are lots on YouTube, normally just shapes floating around to classical music.

Didn't particularly want to introduce a screen at such a young age, but in considering the alternatives, the short amount of screen time outweighed the screaming.

DS grew out of screaming in the car without a screen around 18 months.

@GPatz oh my goodness 18 months 😫😫😫😂 that makes me want to cry a bit haha.

Yes I have actually bought a phone holder for the car to put on the headrest but it means I can't use the mirror as well and I like being able to see him. How did you get around this?

My ds's hated the car. We went forward facing at 10 mths and used the iPad! Massive difference. I know rear facing is safer but I used to drive so stressed and couldn't hear a thing over the screaming.
They are now 2 and 6 and love the car!

We moved DD into the next size up seat at 8 months (also a rear facing one) which sorted her screaming. The next size up seats are usually higher up so they can see out the window a bit better, and also a little bit more upright, presumably the combination of the two was what sorted it. We had the seat already for DS, so could try it at no cost - do you have a friend you could borrow a toddler seat off to see if it helps?

My eldest DD HATED the group 0 car seat from day 1. We discovered later that she had a dairy and egg allergy and had crazy reflux. She improved massively on moving to forward facing at 11 months and a few grams shy of the weight limit. Lots of friends were judgy about going forward facing so early, but it was that or crash the car after 2 hours of solid screaming.

@shellysheridan thank you. I might have to consider that if things don't improve soon as I do worry about my ability to concentrate currently!

@Teddyreddy we are actually shopping around for the next size car seat. We figure he is going to need one soon-ish anyway so we may as well do it now. Yes I think you are right - I do think he will prefer being higher and more upright. I am praying so anyway! They look much comfier than the newborn seat we have too!

@Vintagegoth oh bless her :( I am fairly sure he doesn't have these issues as he doesn't sound as upset by it as your little girl. Bless her I am glad she prefers travelling now!

I read the title and thought it was about hating the car you have to drive as a parent in order to fit in all the kid’s crap, when in actual fact you want to drive a cool little convertible.

In terms of kids hating the car, Netflix cartoons on a phone or iPad is the way to go.

Mine also stopped screaming around 18 months, bloody nightmare! They still aren't a big fan of it now (just turned 2) but short journeys are manageable normally. Yet to brave anything over 90 minutes since the screaming stopped... going abroad is less stressful than a long car journey with mine!

@RaptorWhiskers haha funnily enough I did wonder if anyone would be confused by that title! The car I can deal with. Including the crap. The shouting baby not so much!

@PolarBearBubbles oh goodness 😫 yes I am starting to think a plane would be much less stressful. At least I can just shove him on my boob on a plane! 😂

O god. I had forgotten what a nightmare this was until i read your thread. And then, by the time you reach destination everyone is fractious and irratated and living in dread of the return. It does get better. We jst survived a three hour journey. Nothing really worked for us except timing long journeys to tie in w naps. Does he nap at all in the car?

Does he have a dummy?

Yes it will! My kid hated his car seat with a passion! My sister referred to him like a Mexican jumping bean he would throw such massive fits when placed into it! This was for over 8 months now it's a funny memory but talk about nerve wracking hearing him scream all the way there and back to any destination. Hang in there it'll be better. Mine is now 18

Thanks all for the solidarity!!!

@BeardyButton he will but for no more than half an hour - 45 mins so although helpful on longer journeys (if we time it well) it doesn't help for long!

@JessieMcJessie no he has never taken one :( will play with it, chew it then spit it out

@EKGEMS thank you that is reassuring. It is so stressful and my mood is incredibly fractious and snappy after a long journey of the screaming!!! I worry a lot about my ability to concentrate I must say

I took the opposite tack when mine were little. I didn’t provide any music or entertainment, made things as boring as possible and basically ignored the DC in the back seat.
They soon fell asleep with the combination of extreme boredom, a warm environment, comfy seat and the gentle hum of the engine!
I would wake them after a couple of hours on long journeys, to nip into services for drinks and nappy changes if required.
DD1 is autistic, and would have hated flashing screens and music as overstimulating in any case.

You are very welcome! My kid was also medically fragile and on oxygen so I was constantly checking the special mirror I had in the back of my car afraid he'd get into real trouble throwing his tantrum but after a while I had to just accept this was just my new reality. Shockingly he woke up happy one morning and stopped screaming altogether I considered it a modern day miracle

My eldest hated the car and protested VERY loudly every time we went anywhere. I bought a few CDs of children's songs and it was like magic. He loved them. I was sick listening to them after the eleventy billionth time, but they made my life so much easier. I remember when DS2 came along, thinking, 'Suppose I'm going to have to listen to those bloody awful songs again', but luckily he wasn't bothered by car journeys.

Now all I have to worry about is a ten year old and a six year old scrapping like wild animals in the back of the car

@Babdoc thank you. I have indeed tried ignoring him but alas it makes no difference! He still barely naps and still protests 😂🙄

@EKGEMS awww so glad to hear things improved for you after all!!! Just got to keep telling ourselves it is all a series of phases and challenges I guess!

@ClinkyMonkey yes I think I need to do this. I have put it off thinking it would drive me insane but it might be the next thing to try. Was it just a bog standard nursery rhyme type cd can you remember? Oh lord yes that sounds like a whole other challenge 😂

my baby screamed throughout every car journey til he was about 8-9 months old. we changed our car (for other reasons!)
and he decided he liked the new one . it's long forgotten in our house but i remember being at my wits end about it. it does get better!!

@MerryDeath funnily enough I am getting a new car in a few months. My dog preferred my current car over my old one so maybe it will work the same for my son 😂😂

Yes D's 2 did this until he was about a year old, but then he screamed at me until he was a year old all the time just not in the car. After a year or so he got better and better.

@Drogosnextwife oh goodness that must have been really tough :/ I must say DS has always been a vocal baby and not very laid back although things have definitely improved in the last month so I'm hoping (praying) the car dramatics improve too!

I found once mine got on his feet he was a much happier child. Hopefully he calms down for you.

I had this too. Improved when we moved to the next size car but I ultimately realised DD was actually feeling car sick and that’s what was making her hate car journeys!

Bigger seat and eventually going forward facing helped big time but so do swapping her car seat into our second (slightly crappy) car- the initial car we had her in was a long estate with quite wavy swaying suspension IYKWIM and I think the swaying made her feel sick. Second car was boxy with fairly tight suspension- you’d feel the bumps rather than glide over them. It cured her. Even now (nearly 3) she’ll feel sick if soft suspension and long car.

Sorry that should say next size car seat!