Is it okay to let baby cry for a little bit?

[Marshmellowmathers]

I am not saying for an hour or more, I mean for 10-15 minutes. I have a 7 month old and I am struggling at the moment with mental health problems (including PND) and recently have been letting her cry for a bit while I gather my thoughts. She is more of a challenging baby than my other DC and I do most parenting on my own due to DH working long, awkward hours.
I have had some family members tell me that it’s a really cruel thing to do, but I never leave her anywhere where she could harm herself.

Of course it’s ok! You can’t answer your baby’s cries 24/7 immediately as soon as they start or nobody would ever get anything done!

I probably wouldn't leave mine quite so long on a regular basis if I'm being honest but sometimes you just have to walk away and pull your shit together, as long as she's safe it's fine :)

Absolutely ok. Put her down somewhere safe, like in her cot, maybe with some toys and close the door. Take the time you need to gather your thoughts.

Tbh it's far safer than you getting worked up/angry/very upset. I've been there, had to stand out in the garden and both dd and I were fine.

My HV told me that if baby is crying a lot and you're getting really stressed out then to put baby somewhere safe and leave the room to gather yourself and calm down.

I do think she has a point, that it is better for the baby that you can take a moment to calm down rather than be stressed which the baby might sense and become more distressed.

I think 15 minutes is quite a long time for a baby and if you are regularly needing to leave them to cry for that long you should look into getting more help.
I think 5 minutes won't do any harm though, and obviously if you are at risk of hurting your baby then absolutely leave them somewhere safe, but also get help.

I think that 10-15 minutes is a long time for regularly gathering your thoughts while a 7 month old cries with no reassurance. Is she also being left a lot when not crying? Could you at least sing gentle songs while you think?

You need more support and so does she. Have you spoken openly to your HV about what is happening? What support are you currently receiving? Next time a family member says it's cruel then I hope they also volunteer to help you. If they are judgemental without help, then I'd also see if you can push to get someone like a homestart volunteer who can come and play with your baby a bit to give you some time to think alone. I know you're struggling and you need help - but your baby is tiny, and doesn't know this, and needs help.

It sounds like you need more support. If this was sleep training related I’d get it but having to leave you baby to cry for 15 minutes whilst you gather your thoughts, in the kindest way, suggests that you’re not coping. Absolutely it’s better to leave your baby somewhere safe than to get upset/angry/lose control yourself but longer term, you need help so that this isn’t necessary. Can you speak to your HV and DH?