please help: very angry at my dc

[johnwinstonlennon]

I am usually -almost everyday- angry and shouty. This has been going on for the past 5 months, roughly. I hate household chores, I have no money, a job with no salary and going through menopause, I haven't had any sex in over 6 years, probably more. Dc is 12 and an absolute darling. I get angry at the silliest and smallest of things, eg. forgetting lunchbox at school -dc is not the sort of child who loses things really, so it was an isolated event. I am knackered, I need dc to be old enough to go to and back from school on its own. I take like a million buses a day. the other day we wer sitting across the table and I felt the need to hit him! I don't even remember the reason. help please.

Why can't a 12 year old take a bus to school alone? Go to the doctor OP...you need assistance urgently.

A 12 year old is old enough to catch a bus to school - find out which bus he has to catch . Meantime you seem to be having a lot of problems yourself. Do see your doctor and tell him / her what you've said here. There is help available for you. Good luck.

Please seek help. It sounds like you wamt to change, but life isnt going as youd hoped.

Take your OP to the doctor?

I think seeing a psychologist would do you the world of good.

If you can find one that you can trust and who helps you then you should be able to get back to enjoying life and enjoying your child again.

Sometimes life just gets too hard, seeking help will make your whole families lives better, it is a brave and unselfish thing to do.

hello girls! dc is in the last year of primary school. Where we live -not Europe- children do not go on a public bus until the first year of secondary school. of course there are school buses, but they cost a fortune.
I have no money for therapy right now.
we have great moments together mind you, but there are these times that is like some floodgates open in my head and anger comes pouring out. It's not that I say bad things at dc, but I snap and am angry and shouty. This morning as soon as dc was awake I apologise for shouting last night -he had forgotten the rugby shoes in the club bus, and he was supposed to use them this morning at school-. He say it wasn't a big deal. that made me worry more, that dc would think that shouting like a crazy menopausal bitch is normal. did I tell you that I'm going through a nasty NASTY menopause? anyway, off to the swimming pool to calm down.

Oh, I read other threads dealing with similar situations. Breathing, counting, going to another room or imagining that a tv crew is filming me is not going to work. I might increase the clonazepam though.

Feeling irrationally furious a lot of the time is a very common symptom in menopause. I remember my DM being like a screeching harpie for years as she went through it and I'm absolutely determined not to let myself get like that! Please go and see your GP and describe your menopausal symptoms. There are medications, creams and gels that are specially designed to help women through what can be a very challenging time of life. Your DC will thank you for going and getting this help, I promise, and it will make your life a lot more pleasant too.

How do you have a job with no salary?

Hollow I don't think OP meant literally.

It's like "Oh God it pays NOTHING!"

Like that...

You need to see a doctor about the menopausal symptoms. There is help for that.
Maybe if you explain about the job, people might have some suggestions.
Meditation, mindfulness, relaxation exercises, walking can help with anger.
But if you feel aggressive and violent towards your DC you must see someone.

hi there! ! maybe I should have explained that the anger is not a daily ocurrence. but I am nonetheless very worried because it started out of nowhere. thank you for the suggestions, I definitely need to see a doctor. My hormones were already a bit nuts before menapause -I have to get checked once a year by the endocrinologist in case I need to start taking medication, I am on the brink of hypothyroidism-. I have to go to the lab to have my blood tested, as a matter of fact I have the doctor's "prescription" -how do you say it?"- in my wallet.

regarding my job: I literally have no salary. I'm in sales -not specifying here, need to protect my privacy- and I only get a commision if I make a sale. the market is almost dead at the moment, so no money.

This all sounds very difficult OP.

First stop: Doctor. You sound both depressed and menopausal.

Good that you are swimming.

Is there any way you can find another job? Are you from the UK? Could you come back?

Anyway keep chatting on MN as an outlet with other adults.

Oh, and maybe set yourself a target: take time to observe to yourself 3 good things about your Ds and what he does each day or each section of each day: before school / after school etc.

It trains you to look for the good and changes the dynamic. Maybe anyway: it’s a technique I imposed on myself when I was stressed and succumbing to road rage on the way to work. After a couple of very unseemly shouty incidents I told myself I had to thank 3 other drivers on each trip (we flash lights here if someone waits to let you pass, for example ) and I would do 3 things to get thanked by others. It changed my whole approach to the journey.

Good luck OP, you are working hard to do your best for your boy.