Advice for an unsettled newborn?

[Junebug55]

DS is 18 days old and I feel like nothing is going right.

I'm BF which has been okay supply wise. I feed on demand but pretty much every time he's fed he cries and wriggles afterwards, and for the few occasions when he doesn't cry after a feed, he will cry as soon as I try and put him down in his crib/carrycot. He will only sleep on me or DH. I carry him around in a sling sometimes but that doesn't work all of the time. At night we really struggle and I've ended up co sleeping with him in the spare room to get some sleep but even that only works for a few hours a night.

I'm just not sure what to do.. DH and I are exhausted and I find myself dreading being alone with DS while DH is at work because I don't feel like I am able to settle him or put him down at all during the day.

Any advice welcome.

It all sounds pretty normal to me. Have you tried cat in the tree pose for after feeds?

It does get better! Have you read up on the 4th trimester?

Fairly normal I'm afraid! Is DS being burped properly after a feed?

Hang in there. It gets easier. If it didn't, no one would have more than 1 child

DD2 was like this - a total velcro baby. I feel your pain!

Pretty normal I'm afraid. Have you tried cycling the babies legs to help him pass wind? Infacol may help too.

It may also be worthwhile attending a breastfeeding café/group/HV and seeing if the latch is OK. He may be taking in too much air when feeding because he isn't latched on properly.

To be honest just hearing that its quite normal is a massive help. Friends who have had babies don't seem to have had the same problems, they were able to put their newborn down for naps in the day and get on with things round the house or even nap themselves. I was worried I'm doing something wrong. I have people telling me to sleep when the baby sleeps and its so frustrating because he won't sleep unless were holding him!

Ive heard about the fourth trimester so I'm probably just focusing on the wrong information. I read other stuff thay says how its important that a baby learns to self soothe and nap etc...

I'll look into breastfeeding support, i haven't tried that yet. In terms of winding I just tend to pat/rub his back with him laid against my chest straight after a feed, but by that point he's already crying.

I've not heard of the cat in the tree pose! Will look into that and will try the legs cycling.

Thanks for the reassurance, I feel like no one tells you how hard this part will feel! Hoping I can get to a stage where I feel a bit more confident about this whole parenting thing soon...!

You can cuddle a baby too little but you can’t cuddle a baby too much.

This website is great for scientific research into baby sleep and info about cosleeping.
www.basisonline.org.uk/

Just want to echo others and say it's totally normal! It's brutal but it does get better in time!

I wouldn't be worrying about doing anything other than cuddles!

Just wanted to reassure you OP it's normal at least it's what it was like for me. I remember timing DD sleeping not being held when she was about 3 weeks old and celebrating that she could be put down for 10 minutes at a time. Don't worry things will improve hugely very quickly.

I was shocked by how hard the first 3 months was. No one warned me. I felt like all the other babies were more settled than mine. It really does get easier.